In general I agree; I've never had any luck with upfiring, so I would never recommend it as a solution.
I will caveat that though and say that it *can* work. One of the most immersive systems I've ever heard was a very humble Monitor Audio 5.1.2 system (probably just tuned with Audyssey something-or-other) in a completely untreated room using upfiring speakers. Given we weren't playing mixes I was familiar with, I'm not sure how much of the feeling of immersion I can truly attribute to those up-firing speakers as against the general wash of wall & ceiling bounce from the mains. Certainly though, the overhead spot FX were totally obvious as overhead and of perfectly acceptable quality. But it was about 5% science and 95% luck that it landed this way.
I feel like I'm talking myself around!? Maybe if you're one of those lucky people who things in life just go well for, maybe upfiring *is* worth a try at least?
If you're more like me and everything in life takes 5x longer, has 5x the problems and cost 5x more than you thought, go straight to the overheads?
In terms of directivity, it's obviously a trade-off as with any other speaker. Narrower = normally less perceived immersion (from bounce) but better tracking of panning in the mix as a result. I think for overheads this is my personal preference as our ears don't have very good "Z-axis" anyway, so anything that helps us localise sound to the ceiling is good.