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Erin's Audio Corner YT channel is about to change...
- Thread starter VintageFlanker
- Start date
diddley
Senior Member
You're a good guy Erin, see all the support you gettin.
I wish you strength and wisdom in the near future.
I wish you strength and wisdom in the near future.
What terrible news. The pain and anguish seems immense. Let's think of what we can do to help him. For starters, I lifted his ban so he can comment if he wishes.
JSmith
Major Contributor
Time, friends and several good distractions are what Erin needs, once he has dealt with the logistics and pain of moving out of his home and away from his family. Packing your life into storage sheds is not a fun experience.
My true friends came out of the woodwork, kept an eye on me and made sure I was busy, invited me to do stuff when all I wanted to do was cry in a hole.
It all gets much better in time- so much better it's impossible to imagine, when you're deep in pain.
And distractions. Activities, adventure, escapes etc. Having some meaningless flings with 21 year olds also helps immensely.
Then someone new will come along, when you least expect it. And it's better.
My true friends came out of the woodwork, kept an eye on me and made sure I was busy, invited me to do stuff when all I wanted to do was cry in a hole.
It all gets much better in time- so much better it's impossible to imagine, when you're deep in pain.
And distractions. Activities, adventure, escapes etc. Having some meaningless flings with 21 year olds also helps immensely.
Then someone new will come along, when you least expect it. And it's better.
ernestcarl
Major Contributor
When I found out about this, I was three fourths from finishing reading (or rather listening to the audiobook) "Studies in Pessimism" by Schopenhauer. The whole thing just felt so unreal and unbelievable when I saw his YT video feed... Life's really tough sometimes.
Hey, Erin, as others have mentioned, we understand that this is pretty difficult time for you so don't you worry about forcibly churning up ongoing regular reviews or keeping up with the YT content grind. There's always going to be other times for those kind of activities -- if not after the next month or two, then surely some time in the future whenever the dust has settled. I know you'll be able to slowly pick your life back up from where you've left off. There's no need to hurry.
Take care, man.
He has some very deep biases (I mean the philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer), rooted, in part from his own experiences, readings or studies of others’ works, and the general surrounding atmospheric milieu of his own times which shouldn’t entirely be a complete surprise. But that’s not really the reason why we read other people’s ideas and philosophies. The beliefs, knowledge and wisdom we accept as truths are contingent, and there are insights (or at least deep stimulation of the mind) to be gained from learning other people’s thoughts even if we end up vehemently disagreeing.
Might as well preemptively say this: Schopenhauer’s view “of women” (where we mostly now in the west reflexively call misogynistic) is not the real reason why he’s considered worth reading/studying. However, as an adult, we really ought to learn the ability to put our mental guards down, and figure out the thought process behind other people’s understanding of the world, rather than reflexively, automatically burning down every dissenter at the stake, thoughtlessly regurgitating apparent norms that’s fed to us ad nauseam on a daily basis by our own current lived milieu as ultimate truths — otherwise, why use our mental faculties at all — arguably, it is the force which separates us most from other life forms.
Might as well preemptively say this: Schopenhauer’s view “of women” (where we mostly now in the west reflexively call misogynistic) is not the real reason why he’s considered worth reading/studying. However, as an adult, we really ought to learn the ability to put our mental guards down, and figure out the thought process behind other people’s understanding of the world, rather than reflexively, automatically burning down every dissenter at the stake, thoughtlessly regurgitating apparent norms that’s fed to us ad nauseam on a daily basis by our own current lived milieu as ultimate truths — otherwise, why use our mental faculties at all — arguably, it is the force which separates us most from other life forms.
Hey, Erin, as others have mentioned, we understand that this is pretty difficult time for you so don't you worry about forcibly churning up ongoing regular reviews or keeping up with the YT content grind. There's always going to be other times for those kind of activities -- if not after the next month or two, then surely some time in the future whenever the dust has settled. I know you'll be able to slowly pick your life back up from where you've left off. There's no need to hurry.
Take care, man.
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Well, that was horrible to watch. Nothing like the mid-life divorce to make you feel like you are heading into a long dark tunnel with no light in sight. I went through this 10 years ago, after 20 years of marriage with two teens at the time. It's hard to describe how absolutely devastating it is, but even 10 years on your words bring it all back. I am truly sorry.
Keep your feet moving forward, even if they are the smallest steps...they all add up. You are a strong guy, and you will get through to the other side, but it's going to be a while before the world isn't spinning.
Reach out to those you are close to, try to remember to take care of the basics like food and a little exercise even if it is just a 10 minute walk outside, and don't expect this is going to start to make sense soon. But...it WILL get better, you WILL smile and laugh again, and you WILL see that light at the end of the tunnel get bigger and bigger until you emerge into a bright new world. You just can't see it yet, because you can't really see much of anything right now, but it is there waiting for you.
I hope you will rejoin our community here. We know and respect you, and I think most of us would be very happy to see you back.
Keep your feet moving forward, even if they are the smallest steps...they all add up. You are a strong guy, and you will get through to the other side, but it's going to be a while before the world isn't spinning.
Reach out to those you are close to, try to remember to take care of the basics like food and a little exercise even if it is just a 10 minute walk outside, and don't expect this is going to start to make sense soon. But...it WILL get better, you WILL smile and laugh again, and you WILL see that light at the end of the tunnel get bigger and bigger until you emerge into a bright new world. You just can't see it yet, because you can't really see much of anything right now, but it is there waiting for you.
I hope you will rejoin our community here. We know and respect you, and I think most of us would be very happy to see you back.
Sokel
Major Contributor
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Only time can heel.
It's heartbreaking to watch when you been there and know how it feels.
Couple of weeks ago in a thread I was even joking about it.
It's a proses,takes time but happiness is around the corner.
I hope you get there soon.
It's heartbreaking to watch when you been there and know how it feels.
Couple of weeks ago in a thread I was even joking about it.
It's a proses,takes time but happiness is around the corner.
I hope you get there soon.
DanielT
Major Contributor
That was very sad. As others mentioned in the thread: ..let time work, seek support from friends and acquaintances, distractions.
Al least 1% are proud supporters.
Well that is very gentlemanly of you @amirm
Erin has been a pretty staunch advocate of science in audio, so maybe we can make the “ban lift” stick.
Then there is Alan… who at least has some well measuring speakers.
This is a good time for the application of olive branch politics.
(Maybe @Sean Olive can lead the way here
while we Toole down the road…)
That was tough to watch. My heart goes out to Erin and his family.
Marriage can be rough and having kids is an additional challenge. Watched my younger brother deal with his divorce for years now and the impact rippled through the family. Just hope Erin’s situation is more amicable so the healing can start sooner.
Hey .
I went through it and the thing that helped most was just owning up to it if in fact it's your fault. Not saying it was or is just saying what helped me. With that said I found my current wife through a friend and it's been great . So I guess I'm saying look forward and good things will happen just when you least expect it .
Hang in there your gonna be fine.
I went through it and the thing that helped most was just owning up to it if in fact it's your fault. Not saying it was or is just saying what helped me. With that said I found my current wife through a friend and it's been great . So I guess I'm saying look forward and good things will happen just when you least expect it .
Hang in there your gonna be fine.
dasdoing
Major Contributor
how does this work in the US? she has the right to throw him out of his own house?
I seperated with my girlfriend but since we have a little baby we still live together. it's problematic sometimes, but atm it is the best solution. why can't two people who have been maried for so long can't make an agreement? they can divide the house for while until he gets a new place?
I seperated with my girlfriend but since we have a little baby we still live together. it's problematic sometimes, but atm it is the best solution. why can't two people who have been maried for so long can't make an agreement? they can divide the house for while until he gets a new place?
That's very very mature and wise of you both.
It’d be an agreement. Right after getting the news, one usually doesn’t want to be around the person seeking the divorce, go to a hotel or something to be alone and sort your thoughts. In the US though, it is indeed more favorable for the woman usually.
In Canada the household with custody would get the house and a settlement+. That responsibility statistically and thus typically falls onto the woman. The men are expected to fall in-line and comply and the system has been shown to be biased.
BlackTalon
Senior Member
In the US the 'rules' vary from state to state. And it's common for an attorney to advise you to stay in the house, not matter how miserable it is.
Many of the States are 50/ 50 split of marital assets (i.e, assets gained while married). But in States that are not 50/ 50 if you go to Court the splits will be within a couple % of that no matter how the salaries vary.
Many of the States are 50/ 50 split of marital assets (i.e, assets gained while married). But in States that are not 50/ 50 if you go to Court the splits will be within a couple % of that no matter how the salaries vary.
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