Well, that was horrible to watch. Nothing like the mid-life divorce to make you feel like you are heading into a long dark tunnel with no light in sight. I went through this 10 years ago, after 20 years of marriage with two teens at the time. It's hard to describe how absolutely devastating it is, but even 10 years on your words bring it all back. I am truly sorry.
Keep your feet moving forward, even if they are the smallest steps...they all add up. You are a strong guy, and you will get through to the other side, but it's going to be a while before the world isn't spinning.
Reach out to those you are close to, try to remember to take care of the basics like food and a little exercise even if it is just a 10 minute walk outside, and don't expect this is going to start to make sense soon. But...it WILL get better, you WILL smile and laugh again, and you WILL see that light at the end of the tunnel get bigger and bigger until you emerge into a bright new world. You just can't see it yet, because you can't really see much of anything right now, but it is there waiting for you.
I hope you will rejoin our community here. We know and respect you, and I think most of us would be very happy to see you back.