Which means amplifiers sound different with different speakers and gear matching is a thing
Yes - but the differences should be definable according to objective principles and measurements. We don't have to enter the mug's game of continually swapping in different amplifiers and speakers until we accidentally hit on what we subjectively prefer that day.
People listening to music is uncontrolled listening impressions. Billions of people who ever heard a song do that. We as humans understand music more subtly and complexly that you would give them credit for. If you are going to dismiss the listening skills of people about audio equipment, you are also dismissing the auditory skills in general of the human race. I don’t agree with you at all. Centuries long music traditions have been created without precise matching and measurements and the music produced is wonderfully nuanced in almost every culture.
With the greatest respect, this comment is terrible.
Music has evolved through the design of instruments and playing techniques, and the underlying principles of pitch and harmony, to be understood by humans. It matches our auditory skills, accordingly.
When it comes to a reproduction system though, there are two interrelated principles you don't seem to get. The first is that a reproduction system is not another musician. It should not contribute to the music so that we tell the difference that way: its job is to, ahem, reproduce. The music is the job of the musicians.
Secondly, and as a result, reproduction systems have to be judged in a different way to a musical instrument, and that part of the process is not something that humans are particularly well set up to do. So we can recognise patterns, pitch, voice inflection, and rhythm, but we don't do so well on tonality of instruments (it's a lot easier to tell two musicians apart, than the same professional musician playing two different, well made acoustic instruments), we don't get stereo imaging as well as we think: but we are incredibly confident we can tell these differences, and our brains when dealing with two sounds that are "supposed to be different" call upon sight, memory and anything else the brain has available to sort out what it is hearing.
The other thing to remember is that we don't need hi-fi to distinguish most or all of those "subtle features" in music you refer to. People do this with all those cheap earbuds and smart speakers and soundbars and all the other stuff we audiophiles tend to look down on. In fact, the hardest class of listening equipment to do this with is a poorly matched and set up full range stereo system. Too often we actually do damage.
Far from dismissing the auditory skills of humans, we recognise those skills in both their strengths and deficiencies. You would do well to understand this.