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Two audiophiles walk into a bar... (finish the joke)
- Thread starter JohnnyAudio
- Start date
kemmler3D
Master Contributor
Two audiophiles walk into a bar, and are immediately drawn to the ancient horn-and-vinyl system taking up a huge amount of space in the corner.
They ask the bartender to fire it up. He tells them it's just for decoration and hasn't been used in years.
They beg him to let them play some music on it. He relents. It sounds horrible.
10 minutes later, they're offering to add some upgrades to the system. One of them has some $5000 cables he's sure will improve the imaging. The other has a priceless NOS vintage headshell and cartridge that should really bring out the mids.
The bartender isn't interested. He tells them to order a drink or get out.
They offer to PAY him if he'll let them upgrade the system.
Knowing a good deal when he sees it, the bartender agrees. $100 per upgrade they want to apply to the old system.
Over the next two weeks they're in the bar almost every day applying "tweaks", with the bartender winding up a couple grand richer and untold sums of money going into upgrades. To everyone else in the bar, it still sounds more or less horrible.
The next day they come in with a stack of 78s, ready to enjoy their handiwork - but the system is gone!
"What happened!?! Were you robbed?"
"Not at all, my boys. With the money you gave me, I could finally pay someone to take that damn thing to the dump."
They ask the bartender to fire it up. He tells them it's just for decoration and hasn't been used in years.
They beg him to let them play some music on it. He relents. It sounds horrible.
10 minutes later, they're offering to add some upgrades to the system. One of them has some $5000 cables he's sure will improve the imaging. The other has a priceless NOS vintage headshell and cartridge that should really bring out the mids.
The bartender isn't interested. He tells them to order a drink or get out.
They offer to PAY him if he'll let them upgrade the system.
Knowing a good deal when he sees it, the bartender agrees. $100 per upgrade they want to apply to the old system.
Over the next two weeks they're in the bar almost every day applying "tweaks", with the bartender winding up a couple grand richer and untold sums of money going into upgrades. To everyone else in the bar, it still sounds more or less horrible.
The next day they come in with a stack of 78s, ready to enjoy their handiwork - but the system is gone!
"What happened!?! Were you robbed?"
"Not at all, my boys. With the money you gave me, I could finally pay someone to take that damn thing to the dump."
dasdoing
Major Contributor
I imagined them coming from an audio expo....cause otherwise impossible
Audiophile 1: "5 cl of vodka, 2cl coffee liqueur and 3 cl fresh cream in 3 seperate tumblers, please."
Audiophile 2: "What are you doing, Highball glass tastes much better."
Audiophile 2: "What are you doing, Highball glass tastes much better."
boxerfan88
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Two audiophiles walk into a bar... after a few drinks… started arguing about cables & SINAD.
Pareto Pragmatic
Senior Member
Three audiophiles walk into a bar, and the first one says, "I don't like this, it's way too warm in here!" The second says, "The temperature is fine, but it's way too bright, bars should not be bright!" They look at the third, who holds his hands up and says, "Don't drag me into this, I prefer to stay neutral."
This is a sad story but with a happy ending. Two audiophiles walk into a bar. First one seems perturbed and says to the other, "We can't stay here! the soundstage is making me feel fatigued; coughs are coming from some vague direction, glasses clinking sound completely unnatural. It's not even close to my hi-res edition of Jazz at the Pawnshop..." The other agrees, and they walk out to go to a bar down the street. By morning light, the two were seen still bar hopping, looking for that perfect soundstage. Eventually, they went home with not even a single drink between them, turned on the stereo and listened to Jazz at the Pawnshop. Ahh, finally, all was right with the world!
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JohnnyAudio
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Two audiophiles walk into a bar....wearing McIntosh t-shirts and were asked to leave.
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JohnnyAudio
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Two audiophiles walk into a bar.... and think to themselves...." this crowd doesn't deserve us."
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JohnnyAudio
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Two audiophiles walk into a bar.... and start arguing about Chinese amplifiers they know nothing about.
Two Adiophiles walk into a bar.....'Sorry guys, we don't allow subwoofers'!
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JohnnyAudio
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Two audiophiles walk into a bar.... one asks.. "do you prefer streaming?" The other replies..." no I like girls."
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