A Call For Humor!

[Pegwill]

A priest and a shepherd take part in a Australian tv quiz show

After answering all the questions, there is a tie.

So both are given one final assignment.

It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu".

It is a city in Africa.

The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration:

"I was a father all my life,

I had no children, had no wife,

I read the bible through and through

on my way to Timbuktu ... "

The poem makes a great impression, and the priest smells a sweet victory.

But then comes the shepherd, with his winning masterpiece:

"When Tim and I to Brisbane went

We met three women cheap to rent.

They were three and we were two,

So I booked one and Tim Booked Two ... "

 

[Pegwill]

1.Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to
itch and you'll have to pee.

2.Law of Gravity
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible place in the universe.

3.Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the
stupidity of your act.

4.Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.

5.Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will
always move faster than the one you are in now.

6.Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

7.Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically
when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

8.Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will

9.Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10.Law of the Theatres & Sports Arenas -
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle,
always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats
several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early
before the end of the performance or the game is over.

11.The Coffee Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you
to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

12.Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

13.Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced sandwich landing face down on a floor are
directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

17.Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy-
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop
making it OR the store will stop selling it!

18.Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by
the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an
appointment and you'll stay sick.

 

[ahofer]

Not sure why these are contraband, but I could make up a few reasons if I were dictator.

 

[Kachda]

Not sure why these are contraband, but I could make up a few reasons if I were dictator.

View attachment 218168

In new york it’s a nuisance with people using such speakers loudly in public, including subway cars.

 

[Spkrdctr]

Not sure why these are contraband, but I could make up a few reasons if I were dictator.

View attachment 218168

That is some seriously good white van merchandise!

 

[mhardy6647]

Saw this moments ago on the Polk Audio forums (EDIT: yes, I did see it there https://forum.polkaudio.com/discussion/comment/2690146#Comment_2690146
and immediately thought of all y'all...

 

[HammerSandwich]

Saw this moments ago on the Polk Audio ASR forums, and immediately thought of all y'all...

Hat tip to XKCD, of course.

 

[mhardy6647]

Hat tip to XKCD, of course.

derp.
guess I am suffering, as must have been inevitable, meme overload.
so sorry!

 

[mhardy6647]

saw this at the 'space' thread on the Polk forums too -- speaking of meme overload.

 

[HammerSandwich]

Delete that apology! The new pic is a cromulent enough cover version of the same song.

 

[Zek]

 

[Sir Sanders Zingmore]

saw this at the 'space' thread on the Polk forums too -- speaking of meme overload.

Does it bug anyone else that James Webb is out of focus?

 

[mhardy6647]

Does it bug anyone else that James Webb is out of focus?

 

[Plcamp]

 

[Kachda]

 

[Ziltoe]

 

[Boris Badinov]

 

[Boris Badinov]

 

[Boris Badinov]

 

[Boris Badinov]