For those of you that are around 50 YO and over - do you think about death?

[Duke]

Recently I just can't stop thinking about how little time I have left, even if I'll live to be 80...

To make things worse, I'm an agnostic atheist, so I'm unable to assure my self that I'll be going to a better place. The way I see it, when you die, you "feel" exactly the same as you felt in the 1800's...

If what you are doing (i.e. your belief system) isn't giving the results you want (such as peace when you contemplate the inevitability of death), then you might need to do something different. From what you have said it sounds like your belief system no longer serves you well, as it comes with a price tag you are no longer comfortable with. Cognitive bias predicts that we tend to see what we are looking for, which, when it comes to belief systems, implies that change starts with seeking.

So you might consider revising your self-concept just enough to become a “seeker”. Be willing to be skeptical of your skepticism. You may have to formulate your own belief system if none of those already out there would serve you well. And if at some point you conclude you were mistaken about hopelessness, well that would actually be good news, wouldn't it?

How do you deal with this sad fact of life? How does it feel to be over 70, knowing you can go any day?

These questions make me think that you actually don't need to become a seeker; you already are one. Imo you just need to broaden your search area.

As for how this 61 year old seeker deals with "this sad fact of life", the following will not begin to be a thorough answer:

My personal belief system has an open canon, which means that I have working theories, not "facts". Everything in my belief system is subject to challenge and revision or rejection or replacement.

At the risk of mixing metaphors, I do not expect the hidden quantum world to follow the same rules as the normal every-day Newtonian world.

I deliberately try to be generally optimistic, and to give positive thoughts (rather than the multitude of yammering negative ones) the benefit of the doubt. "Life offers us many excuses to become bitter or angry or discouraged. None of them are good enough."

As for how I look towards my inevitable death, it is with curiosity. In the meantime there are a lot of things I want to do, but when the time comes, I'm dying to find out what really happens!

 

[Stephen]

I don't believe in God. But I think it's not reciprocal...
Death is an experience like any other. It's just the last one. (a famous philosopher said...). I'll be happy to go. I have done most of what I wanted in my life (Still I am balanced: KH420 or not?). And remember: even going to pee can produce a lot of joy. Good night.

 

[SimpleTheater]

I’m 52 and an atheist. I’m just fine dying, be it tomorrow or fifty years from now. We’re all on this amazing journey through space and the stars aboard this little blue rock hurtling at speeds in excess of 66,000 mph. How friggin cool is that!? And you could possibly be one of the only sentient species in the universe to get that opportunity.

Does this journey have any meaning? Will the universe just self-implode someday taking all life and matter with it? Hell if I know, but just like a roller coaster simply goes back to point A, isn’t it fun!?

And I get to enjoy the journey with Dianna Krall in my ears while I write this.

 

[SimpleTheater]

Health conscious vegans who run marathons have dropped dead of a heart attack in their 40's and overweight smokers who've never exercised a day in their lives live into their 100's. What you eat and your habits have limited impact on your overall health - genetics is a huge factor. It's all a lottery. When your time comes there is nothing you can do to change it. Enjoy life and don't sweat the small stuff. Everything in moderation and all that...

I’ve always believed everyone is born with a personal maximum time clock and all you can do with your life choices is keep it the same or reduce it. Those overweight smokers living past a hundred probably could have lived until 130 if they took care of themselves, and that jogger who died at 40, well maybe he should have walked, but probably lived close to his maximum age.

 

[HiFidFan]

View attachment 119556

I'm not sure what message your chart is supposed to convey?

 

[Wes]

I'm not sure what message your chart is supposed to convey?

Death

 

[HiFidFan]

Death

Errm. . .

 

[JayGilb]

I'm 56 and just happy that the correct sperm collided with an egg and I was born. I realize that I'm just a speck of dust in the scheme of the universe and grateful for each day I am able to love and be loved.

 

[dmac6419]

You get older and family members and friends start to die off,yea you think about it,but I don't dwell on it we all gots to go sometime,just make the best off life be nice.

 

[bt3]

Getting on toward seventy. When I start ruminating a bit to much about my mortality, I go play a music track that puts me back in a joyous state-of-mind. Like Betty Carter’s Sounds (moving on) from The Audience With Betty Carter. A good talk with an old friend can do it too, though sometimes those conversations may include news that a shared friend from the past died. That will send me back to my headphones and a music track that takes my mind off the sad news. Many take antidepressants, and many really need them, but thus far, music and meaningful conversation helps me break the “ruminating on dark thoughts“ mindset.

 

[JJB70]

You're born, you'll die, try and enjoy the bit in between. I spent two weeks in hospital exactly a year ago going through two operations and being pumped full of drugs after a ruptured appendix. I was born without a mouth and needed extensive surgery. In my professional career I have investigated serious industrial accidents and know what those anodyne statements about people being injured really mean (the effects of fire on the human body are not nice). I am 50 myself, having gone through or seen a few things (though nothing compared to medical professionals and those in emergency services) I really just take life as it comes and look for the positive rather than the negative.

 

[RayDunzl]

 

[EJ3]

We live on a deep water creek that flows into a harbor which then becomes the ocean. My mother is 87 & can't operate a sailboat or kayak as well & as often as she used to. (she used to both sail & kayak across the harbor to beaches on other coastal barrier islands) Recently, for the first time in her life she bought a Jon boat (15 ft with a 15 HP engine). She cannot pull the pull cord to start the engine (yes, I know, could have gotten an electric start. But this was the deal that fell into our hands at a cash price that we could afford. And the benefit is that I must participate in her life). She has me (her only child) start and operate the boat & we still go see all the nature that she took me through when I was 1-15. Now I take her. The circle of life is being completed for us & it is wonderful.

 

[Frank Dernie]

We live on a deep water creek that flows into a harbor which then becomes the ocean. My mother is 87 & can't operate a sailboat or kayak as well & as often as she used to. (she used to both sail & kayak across the harbor to beaches on other coastal barrier islands) Recently, for the first time in her life she bought a Jon boat (15 ft with a 15 HP engine). She cannot pull the pull cord to start the engine (yes, I know, could have gotten an electric start. But this was the deal that fell into our hands at a cash price that we could afford. And the benefit is that I must participate in her life). She has me (her only child) start and operate the boat & we still go see all the nature that she took me through when I was 1-15. Now I take her. The circle of life is being completed for us & it is wonderful.

I love this.

 

[valerianf]

Well, approching 60 years old, after 2 big surgeries that were very close to terminate me, my wife is saying to me that I need to enjoy my third life!
It is not so easy by this Covid time: noway that I go back to the hospital so soon.
Life is a fight, and already earlier in my life I have survived to serious dangerous events where I was close to die.
You just need to believe in the survival instinct.
It is deep inside...

 

[steve59]

I didn't feel mortal til my mom was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer.

 

[Tks]

You guys still thinking about death up in here lol?

 

[Vict0r]

Embrace the Lady in the Radiator! Embrace living in a world of fear, with the profound understanding that escape from such emotions is possible.

God, I love that movie.

 

[Godataloss]

Hi.

I know this might be a touchy subject, but in 6 weeks I will turn 49. Recently I just can't stop thinking about how little time I have left, even if I'll live to be 80.

Thirty years pass quickly. I remember 1990 as if it was yesterday. I wonder who do people who are older than me deal with the fact that life must stop at some point, which can happen very soon if you're over 60...

I even stopped adding more music to my 50k+ tracks library, because I know that I don't have much time left to listen to all my music collection and enjoy it more than once.

I've also became a health nut. I only eat low carb raw vegan food, which taste like cr@p. Luckily, I don't look anywhere near 49 (most people assume I'm 35ish). But still can't shake the thought that I'm on borrowed time.

To make things worse, I'm an agnostic atheist, so I'm unable to assure my self that I'll be going to a better place. The way I see it, when you die, you "feel" exactly the same as you felt in the 1800's...

sometimes I can't even fall asleep because I'm scared that I won't wake up in the morning (my doctor says that I have death anxiety and he proscribed me some Xanax, which I decided not to take after I read the possible side effects... )

How do you deal with this sad fact of life? How does it feel to be over 70, knowing you can go any day?

I think you would benefit from a psychedelic experience if you have never partaken. There is some very promising research going on at the moment on the use of certain compounds like mescaline, psilocybin and even ketamine in the treatment of depression, ptsd and obsessive compulsive disorders. In many instance a single session produces profound and lasting results. I am nearing 50 myself and though my experimental phase is long in my past, I'm considering another foray as I too have had some struggles with my own mortality the last few years with the sudden passing of several family members and the obvious slow decay of my own corporeal vessel.

 

[steve59]

a week before my 40th I came down for break from sheeting a 2 story + walkout, or throwing sheets of ply 30' off the ground in the days before safety. I had my first grand mall seizure while on break! That experience really gave me a new perspective, helped me overcome fears to try new things and really helped me to let go of the petty stuff in life. For me it was here one second gone the next with nothing in between that freed me from the fear of death, the fear of life at the hands of dr's in hospitals is still alive and well tho'.