Comical statements from reviews (Lets have a laugh)

[mansr]

Not a review per se, but this is just too funny:

Yet these same audiophiles take a new CD, stick it in a player and play it, as if that is all there is to do to get what’s on the disc. Every once in a while you read in a magazine that some reviewer greens the edges of the CD or maybe uses the Bidini Clarifier. That’s about it!!!!! It’s no wonder that lots of audiophiles think CDs can’t produce nowhere near record quality sound.

http://tweakaudio.com/EVS-2/CD_tweaks.html

 

[mansr]

Patents can also be a source of hilarity:

The memory structure in known signal processing systems uses small bytes to improve data integrity by enabling error-checking at a high frequency, due to the small byte size. While this method has applicability to certain signal processing environments (where bit count, as opposed to bit order and other integrity aspects, is the imperative) it does not extend well to signal processing environments where data integrity is imperative. In such situations, an accurate bit count is imperative. In other words, data checking mandates that the number of bits that go into a system are the same number that come out of the system. For example, when copying a Compact Disc (CD) which has 681 MB of data, if the copy is missing any bytes detected through error-checking such as error-correction code (ECC) processing, the ECC will add any missing bytes in order to achieve a lossless copy.

Such high error-checking frequency is achieved by dissection of the data to local memory for the purpose of error-checking, which is accomplished through caching. However, an undesirable result of caching occurs, and, due to inherent capacitances, inductances, slewing and reactances of chips, firmware and other hardware components, timing errors are dramatically increased. These timing errors manifest themselves in the output data stream as “jitter” which degrades data integrity.

https://patents.google.com/patent/US8451701B2/en

 

[Wes]

With Harry (and his carnival of barkers) you got pages and pages of prose that said not much of anything.

But English majors need jobs too!

 

[LTig]

Patents can also be a source of hilarity:

https://patents.google.com/patent/US8451701B2/en

 

[MattHooper]

How about Dagogo's Doug Schroeder ham-fistedly working his Intelligent Design advocacy in to an audio review?


https://www.dagogo.com/tri-art-audio-series-b-system-review/2/

------------

"The extraordinary never arises from a vacuum.


As a matter of disambiguation, one of the most irritating aspects of contemporary conversation is chronic misuse of the term (or variants thereof) “evolve” as a substitute for what is obviously developed. Modern man has drunk the Materialist cool aid, and does not even wince when humanly designed products are advertised as evolving. Manufacturers seem clueless that they diminish their genius by use of the word evolve in advertisements.


Nothing of high precision evolves, ever. Lab work in the past twenty years on the biomolecular level has shown definitively that natural selection is par excellence at breaking biological structures, and cannot progressively build them. Conversely, the Intelligent Design Theory (or I.D.), of which I am a proponent, properly credits design when it is inferred, something that we do naturally. Those who would like a reading list of works by credentialed scientists who write about I.D. can contact me.


How does this relate to Tri-Art Audio? As creatures are not built from chaos, so also audio systems do not pop out of nowhere. One of the myths of audio manufacturing and DIY (do-it-yourself) audio is that the little guy with marginal talent will miraculously develop in his garage something with sound comparable to a show-stopping system. Supposedly, the budget builder will trounce the big boys at their game. No, that will not happen. Perhaps through years of slaving over a design or methodology a new product will come to the fore, but the spontaneous generation of a killer component or system by some hack without the means is not going to happen any more than a potpourri of amino acids will assemble itself into a cell!


Upon encountering the Tri-Art system my background in I.D. led me to realize immediately that the Series B is no fluke. It is not the product of an accident, not some lame design that evolved or came about via a shoestring budget. It didn’t come out of some pop-up component shop. It is the development, the outgrowth, of decades of experience and has emerged from a strong company with the resources to back the inspiration of Steve Ginsberg, one of the family owners of Tri-Art."

--------

I just love the line:

"Upon encountering the Tri-Art system my background in I.D. led me to realize immediately that the Series B is no fluke."

Such a hilarious combination of self aggrandizement with irrelevancy. Yes, it took special expertise in a fringe, non-scientific theory in order to recognize a piece of audio gear had been designed by deliberate steps! Where do we sign up? I've been trying to figure out how my iphone could possibly have popped in to existence by sheer chance!

 

[dfuller]

Let us not think pro audio is immune...

I found things I mixed on Spotify and listened to them with and without the Brooklyn DAC+ as compared to my high-quality WAVs of the same songs. It is undeniable that with an apples to apples comparison on something I mixed and know well, the Mytek was the organic apple with sugars converted by a cold snap versus the same variety conventionally grown. If you can taste the difference and want to spend more for a better tasting and healthier piece of fruit, the choice is clear.

Transparency is the typical rap about conversion — the assumed goal, really — but after so many years of listening to digital converters, I've come to realize that transparency isn't actually a neutral thing.

[...]

I'm fascinated with three- dimensionality and space in recordings, and with the Converts, I am hearing convincing dimensionality. Sounds become sculptural. The low end is not just "phat" or whatever the latest adjective is — it takes on boulder-like qualities. At slow tempos, I can see what I have come to call "sonic asteroids" in orbit as bass sounds enter the room. The mids are not just "detailed" or "etched" — they're tactile. It's as if I'm running my hands over the sounds.

 

[noiseangel]

Let us not think pro audio is immune...

Nice find. Jockettes full of crap of the highest order.

 

[noiseangel]

Spatially the SLiC is seriously capable too, giving a precise, architectural sort of presentation that makes the position of instruments in an orchestra very clear to hear. Ralph Vaughan Williams’ Symphony No.2 – the definitive EMI release conducted by Bernard Haitink – showed the London Philharmonic off at its best. Soundstaging was cavernous from left to right, and depth perspective good. Inside the recorded acoustic, instruments were very securely positioned.

Indeed, the Eclipse C MK III is really fast and fleet of foot

The Eclipse C MKIII is almost as stealthy as an F-35 Lightning II jet

https://www.stereo.net.au/reviews/slic-innovations-eclipse-c-mkiii-interconnect-cable-review

Quickly becoming the front runner for the "Prolapsed Sphincter Award".

 

[tvih]

from Bunking Cable Lifters, Roger Skoff
https://positive-feedback.com/audio-discourse/bunking-cable-lifters/

I wonder if audiophiles that use cable lifters ask other audiophiles "do you even lift"?

 

[Wes]

Why use a cable lifter when you can get boosted?

 

[Mike B]

"Speakers do not put out watts!" From a review of a set of powered speakers, whose sellers said that they produce "150 watts of ultra clean power." The author goes on to rant about idiot marketers who do not understand speakers, and tells us that while speakers have a maximum power rating, they do not produce any power. Of course he is correct about unpowered speakers, but this pair of speakers is powered. So it is very appropriate to state that they produce "150 watts." Of course the marketer is probably overly optimistic (they all are). But powered speakers do produce power. (I realize that they actually consume power as well.)

 

[noiseangel]

And here we go again.

https://www.stereo.net.au/opinion/opinion-wired-for-sound

"So I duly embarked upon my time-honoured tweaking routine, and first discarded the cheap bundled Marantz interconnects. In went a pair of Ecosse Nu Diva – simply because I had some lying around – going from its RCA analogue output sockets to my Sony TAE-86B/TAN-86B pre/power amp combination. The difference was vast – the music was tonally fuller, smoother across the midband, and the soundstage went from two dimensions to three."

With just a cable? Wow all you engineers out there give up now, you are all a bunch of hacks. According to this self grandstanding imbecile you are all useless at your jobs as he has done something with a cable no one else can do. Amir stop wasting your time testing all this equipment. This turkey has fixed everything that's wrong with hifi with a cable.

What annoys me more than anything with these hacks that do any reviews is they pay no respect to the engineering that went into the design and manufacture of speakers and electronics in the first place. Imagine spending years designing a DAC or speakers only to have some wanky journalist with no electronic qualifications, except by his own admission misspent youth of tweaking (his own nipples one would presume) that he has miraculously turned 2 dimensional sound into 3 dimensional sound. WITH JUST A CABLE! Really? A false and misleading claim if there ever was one.

"Suddenly my ancient Marantz CD spinner was starting to sound good, so out came my tube of Caig DeoxIT and all the phono sockets got a splash of this magical contact cleaner. Then it was back to hear the track again. I can't explain why I heard what I heard, but it was nearly as profound as upgrading the cable. There was so much more transparency; my Yamaha NS-1000M speakers sounded like they had finally fixed focus on the recording. Yet those drum machine hi-hats were silkier than before, so the sound hadn't got brighter."

Price should stop sniffing or eating or whatever it is he does with the Deoxit. It has damaged the mitochondria in his brain.

Another load of tripe from what is fast becoming the most detrimental website to audio. Its websites like stereonet that stop people spending their money on things that do make a difference to the sound and set the industry back years. Telling someone that spending 300 on some cables will give them 3D sound rather than saving money towards upgrading your speakers or getting a better amplifier that can cope with bass transient dynamics, these people are criminals and should be prosecuted. If you tried that crap with medicine you would be locked up and rightly so. Unfortunately there is no FDA for hifi equipment so these journalistic hacks get to print codswallop at will, making outrageous claims that can never be substantiated. In the case of stereonet its all about advertising dollars. Rushton, Familiari and Price should be jailed for false and misleading claims. There are laws that prevent people from making outlandish claims about devices that increase fuel efficiency, there is even laws about laundry detergent. Yet Price can claim a cable has transformed a crappy old CD player into a 3 dimensional masterpiece? Without any repercussion? Or proof?

Only 3 out of 5 here https://www.analogueseduction.net/analogue-interconnects/ecosse-reference-nu-diva-interconnect.html. According to this review the cables are crap. I bet you he didn't use Deoxit.

This is the reason why many/most/all speaker manufacturers wont align themselves with a cable company to use their cable on internal wiring. The cable company will take all the credit for why the speakers sound so good undermining all the engineering that went into making them in the first place. Does anyone know what cable B and W or Wilson or Vandersteen or Magico use internally? Do they tell you anywhere?

I have referred the stereonet article to the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission and the Ad Standards. They are very interested in the goings on of false and misleading claims. And for the scientific record David Price, a cable cannot introduce another dimension to sound. You may be asked to prove that this is a scientific fact in the future and not just an OPINION!

 

[lemnoc]

Why use a cable lifter when you can get boosted?

Why not both a cable lifter and get boosted at the same time

 

[lemnoc]

And here we go again.

https://www.stereo.net.au/opinion/opinion-wired-for-sound



With just a cable? Wow all you engineers out there give up now, you are all a bunch of hacks. According to this self grandstanding imbecile you are all useless at your jobs as he has done something with a cable no one else can do. Amir stop wasting your time testing all this equipment. This turkey has fixed everything that's wrong with hifi with a cable.

What annoys me more than anything with these hacks that do any reviews is they pay no respect to the engineering that went into the design and manufacture of speakers and electronics in the first place. Imagine spending years designing a DAC or speakers only to have some wanky journalist with no electronic qualifications, except by his own admission misspent youth of tweaking (his own nipples one would presume) that he has miraculously turned 2 dimensional sound into 3 dimensional sound. WITH JUST A CABLE! Really? A false and misleading claim if there ever was one.

I am disappointed with those cables. I thought they would at least offer me 4th dimension or even 5th dimension sound. Maybe I need to ingest something to get to those extra dimensions LOL

 

[noiseangel]

Just get David Price to rewrite his review and your wish will be fulfilled. Its as simple as that, write it and its true.

 

[anmpr1]

How about Dagogo's Doug Schroeder ham-fistedly working his Intelligent Design advocacy in to an audio review? Such a hilarious combination of self aggrandizement with irrelevancy.

Self indulgence is a prerequisite for an audio reviewer, it seems. One of the most ridiculous (no longer writing for them) was a Stereophile reviewer who was attached to his wife by the hip. You could play a drinking game with his reviews--take a shot for each time he mentioned his wife. By the end of the review you'd be passed out on the floor.

The worst are reviewers who invoke quantum mechanics in order to explain why their 'directional' Ethernet cable widens the soundstage, etc. Memo to reviewers: quantum mechanics should never be part of an audio review! LOL

 

[noiseangel]

Not a review but a very comical self assessment.

A wooden block is also used for supporting the Mega Earth Grounding Distributor. We recommend placing the block in the designated position underneath the Mega Earth Grounding Distributor, again ensuring that the CFM logo is the right way up in order to achieve the best possible audio performance.

http://www.cablesfm.com/resonant/

Everything always works better with the logo the right way up.

 

[noiseangel]

https://www.stereo.net.au/reviews/wilson-audio-sabrinax-floor-standing-loudspeaker-review/

It’s super able in every respect, but what really sets it apart is that it has immense fun making music. It’s a small floorstander that smiles at the world, and the world smiles back at it.

Once again I have never caught my speakers in the living room "Having fun" although I did catch one of them giving my Mrs a sideways glance at one stage. After a few stern words and a good poke in the midrange it settled back down again.

 

[anmpr1]

Once again I have never caught my speakers in the living room "Having fun" although I did catch one of them giving my Mrs a sideways glance at one stage. After a few stern words and a good poke in the midrange it settled back down again.

As long as she doesn't respond you're OK. If things come to that, better to shoot your loudspeaker than to do a 'Hey Joe' on your wife. You never want to do that. Or just divorce your speaker. That's cheaper than divorcing the wife, because your loudspeaker probably won't take the house, the car, and half your savings and retirement, plus the kids in the settlement. Plus, you can often trade in a loudspeaker for a newer model. Not so easy to do with a wife.

 

[noiseangel]

I can always get another wife.