Comical statements from reviews (Lets have a laugh)

[noiseangel]

Hers a good one to start of with.

Blue II doesn’t go off in pursuit of forensic perfection, instead, it chooses to enjoy itself and have fun.
I certainly approve of the new blue shade.
Again, timing improved with the new cable.

https://www.stereo.net.au/reviews/tellurium-q-blue-ii-interconnect-and-loudspeaker-cable-review

 

[Katji]

"Upvoted" for the Einstein quote. Pity the basics of it doesn't get included in school syllabus/

 

[Phorize]

I think that this reviewer is saying that you can’t measure an amplifier to predict how it will perform

‘rated power does not equate to perceived power. Unlike cars there is no horsepower figure that indicates absolute power in an amplifier, to find the most powerful amplifier you have to listen to it with the speakers you want it to drive.’

https://www.the-ear.net/review-hardware/rega-brio-integrated-amplifier

 

[NTomokawa]

I think that this reviewer is saying that you can’t measure an amplifier to predict how it will perform

‘rated power does not equate to perceived power. Unlike cars there is no horsepower figure that indicates absolute power in an amplifier, to find the most powerful amplifier you have to listen to it with the speakers you want it to drive.’

https://www.the-ear.net/review-hardware/rega-brio-integrated-amplifier

I would counter by saying that one hooks it up to a meter/scope then see how much power it outputs until it reaches a certain distortion level, the way Amir has been doing. But that website is called "The Ear" and not "The Measurement", so...

By the way, "horsepower" (SAE gross? Net? Shaft? Brake? Wheel?) itself means almost nothing even among performance cars.

Meanwhile this "review" here mentions...

Battery Benefits:

• Much more solidity
• Smoother. Much less grain and roughness
• More weight and dimension
• Better focus
• More tonal colors
• Quieter
• Lyrics are more intelligible

 

[noiseangel]

I think that this reviewer is saying that you can’t measure an amplifier to predict how it will perform

‘rated power does not equate to perceived power. Unlike cars there is no horsepower figure that indicates absolute power in an amplifier, to find the most powerful amplifier you have to listen to it with the speakers you want it to drive.’

https://www.the-ear.net/review-hardware/rega-brio-integrated-amplifier

"instead, it chooses to enjoy itself and have fun"

Since reading this review I have been watching all my cables very closely. I even got up in the middle of the night sneaking around with a torch.
They were still in the same place. They weren't enjoying themselves and having fun. Perhaps this is because they aren't Telerium Q. who knows. I think it's more to do with the fact that the cables are inanimate objects, lacking the basics of a nervous system, spinal chord, brain etc, I could be wrong. Anyway, I'm taking my cables to the park today and put them on the slippery dip, perhaps that will bring out their "Personality". I will see what their timing is like when they hit the bottom of the dip and jump of the slide. Failing that I'm going to paint them blue, that surely has to have an effect.

 

[LTig]

"instead, it chooses to enjoy itself and have fun"

Since reading this review I have been watching all my cables very closely. I even got up in the middle of the night sneaking around with a torch.
They were still in the same place. They weren't enjoying themselves and having fun.

Of course not, how could they. Do you enjoy yourself lying on the hard floor? Hurry up and get them nice cable risers!

 

[noiseangel]

Of course not, how could they. Do you enjoy yourself lying on the hard floor? Hurry up and get them nice cable risers!

I feel very cruel and stupid now. Thank you for pointing that out I will get them some little mattresses and pillows. I will buy them an ice cream and hopefully they will forgive me for being so callous. That's 16 ice creams I have to buy, you have cost me a lot of money. I showed your post to my cables and they have indeed sparked up and now seem to be happy in the fact they are going to the park and getting ice cream and are looking forward to their new resting arrangements.

 

[noiseangel]

"Upvoted" for the Einstein quote. Pity the basics of it doesn't get included in school syllabus/

Mind you in Australia now, they are teaching children all about "Gender Fluidity" instead of STEM subjects. Another can of worms just opened. Which is quite appropriate since worms are hermaphrodites. They know all about being gender fluid.

I'm now thinking we are on to something here. Perhaps some of these reviewers are hermaphrodites which could explain what they are doing with themselves at the time of writing the reviews.

 

[Phorize]

We need an audiophile reviewer one of these:

https://www.bullshitgenerator.com/

 

[noiseangel]

We need an audiophile reviewer one of these:

https://www.bullshitgenerator.com/

Love it mate.

 

[noiseangel]

The soundstage immediately grew in every dimension, with the singer moving a half step closer to me, yet with more front to back depth.

Amazing I cant even tell if someone standing in front of me in real life if you have moved a HALF STEP closer to me. Apparently this cable does.

 

[vavan]

Blue II doesn’t go off in pursuit of forensic perfection, instead, it chooses to enjoy itself and have fun.
I certainly approve of the new blue shade.
Again, timing improved with the new cable

Ouch, I have original tellurium q blue speaker cables and probably need to upgrade immediately

 

[tomtoo]

"...Again, timing improved with the new cable..."

Drummer to rhytem guitarist: Man your timing today was shiit!!
Rhytem guitarist: No problem man, i have the new cables already bought.

 

[noiseangel]

Ouch, I have original tellurium q blue speaker cables and probably need to upgrade immediately

Can you check and see if your cables are having fun. Any pictures you have of them enjoying themselves would be appreciated however if they are engaged in any self gratification activities I don't want to see it. Or maybe I do.

 

[noiseangel]

John Dunlavy at his best.

http://verber.com/mark/ce/cables.html

Cracks me up every time I read it.

While competent cable manufacturers should be aware of these measurements and the need to make them during the design of their cables, the raw truth is that most do not! Proof of this can be found in the absurd buzzard-salve, snake-oil and meaningless advertising claims found in almost all magazine ads and product literature for audiophile cables. Perhaps worse, very few of the expensive, high-tech appearing cables we have measured appear to have been designed in accordance with the well-known laws and principles taught by proper physics and engineering disciplines. (Where are the costly Government Consumer Protection people who are supposed to protect innocent members of the public by identifying and policing questionable performance claims, misleading specifications, etc.?) --- Caveat Emptor!

Buzzard-Salve......hilarious

 

[vavan]

Can you check and see if your cables are having fun. Any pictures you have of them enjoying themselves would be appreciated however if they are engaged in any self gratification activities I don't want to see it. Or maybe I do

you've just made my day lol

 

[holbob]

Anyone remember the “clever little clock"? Claimed to do all manner of things to the sound whilst having a disclaimer that it didn't do anything to the sound.

 

[Joaquin Dinero]

I would counter by saying that one hooks it up to a meter/scope then see how much power it outputs until it reaches a certain distortion level, the way Amir has been doing. But that website is called "The Ear" and not "The Measurement", so...

By the way, "horsepower" (SAE gross? Net? Shaft? Brake? Wheel?) itself means almost nothing even among performance cars.

Meanwhile this "review" here mentions...

According to this reviewer the Topping is "clean shaven".

Its that nice, polite DAC that gets straight As and is the Student Council president and your Mom always asks you "why cant you be more like that nice boy Topping?"

 

[mhardy6647]

Anyone remember the “clever little clock"? Claimed to do all manner of things to the sound whilst having a disclaimer that it didn't do anything to the sound.

That's a Geoff Kait thing, isn't it?

https://www.machinadynamica.com/

Geoff Kait is the Andy Kaufman of tweak audiophile hifi (IMO, of course).

 

[Wes]

I think that this reviewer is saying that you can’t measure an amplifier to predict how it will perform

‘rated power does not equate to perceived power. Unlike cars there is no horsepower figure that indicates absolute power in an amplifier, to find the most powerful amplifier you have to listen to it with the speakers you want it to drive.’

https://www.the-ear.net/review-hardware/rega-brio-integrated-amplifier

I think this reviewer is saying - very poorly - that variation in impedance with freq. can cause SPL to vary in amps that have equal power delivery into a resistive load.

'can' not 'will'