• WANTED: Happy members who like to discuss audio and other topics related to our interest. Desire to learn and share knowledge of science required. There are many reviews of audio hardware and expert members to help answer your questions. Click here to have your audio equipment measured for free!

A Call For Humor!

Martin Takamine

Active Member
Joined
Sep 8, 2019
Messages
274
Likes
646
Location
East Coast
A group of girlfriends went on vacation and they see a five-story hotel with a sign that reads "For Women Only".
Since they were without their boyfriends, they decide to go in.

The Doorman, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works....."We have five floors... go up floor by floor,
and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there."
"It's easy to decide, since each floor has signs telling you what's inside."

So they start going up, and on the first floor the sign reads, "All the men here are horrible lovers,
but they are sensitive and kind"... the friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads, "All the men here are wonderful lovers, but they generally treat women badly".
This wasn't going to do.

So the friends move up to the third floor where the sign read, "All the men here are great lovers and sensitive to the needs of women."

This was good but there were still two more floors, so on to the fourth floor, the sign was perfect.
"All the men here have perfect builds; are sensitive and attentive to women; are perfect lovers; they are also single, rich, and straight."

The women seemed pleased but they decide that they would rather see what the fifth floor has to offer before they settle for the fourth.

When they reach the fifth floor, there is only a sign that reads:
"There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
 

Martin Takamine

Active Member
Joined
Sep 8, 2019
Messages
274
Likes
646
Location
East Coast
There once was a happy little fly buzzing around a barn one day,
when she happened upon a large pile of fresh cow manure.
she flew down to the irresistible delicacy and began to munch.
She ate...And ate...and then ...she ate some more!!!

Finally, she decided she'd had plentyand attempted to fly away.
But she had pigged out far too muchand could not get off the ground.
She spotted a pitchfork leaning upright against the barn wall.
She'd found a solution!!

She realized if she could just become airborne, she'd be able to fly again.
So, she painstakingly climbed to the top of the handle. Once there,
she took a deep breath, spread her tiny fly wings, and leaped confidently into the air.
She dropped like a rock and splattered all over the floor...Dead Fly....

The moral of this sad story?
Never fly off the handle when
you know you're full of shit.
 

pseudoid

Master Contributor
Forum Donor
Joined
Mar 23, 2021
Messages
5,221
Likes
3,569
Location
33.6 -117.9

202210_FUpolitics.jpg

It's called "ef-U Politics"!:(
 

Martin Takamine

Active Member
Joined
Sep 8, 2019
Messages
274
Likes
646
Location
East Coast
A bird was flying south for the winter in the freezing cold.
It wasn’t long before it had to land.
While laying there on the ground a cow crapped on the bird.
The bird got completely covered, started to panic then realized it was warming up.
So the bird settled in until it was all warmed up then tried to get out of the crap.
But it was a struggle and the bird was making a lot of noise.
A passing cat heard the noise, dug the bird out of the crap then ate the bird.

And the moral of the story is:
Not everybody that craps on you is your enemy.
Not everybody that gets you out of crap is your friend.
And if you are in really deep crap, you should keep your mouth shut.
 
Top Bottom