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A Call For Humor!
- Thread starter Tks
- Start date
mhardy6647
Grand Contributor
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2019
- Messages
- 11,403
- Likes
- 24,722
I've certainly enjoyed it...
Position Available Immediately: Apprentice Sith Lord, Dark Side Consulting Group
Duties include: Performing competitive intelligence, hands-on intervention in support of the Sith Master's planning initiatives, ability to travel the galaxy widely, and operating a variety of laser-powered hand weapons and high-powered space/air vehicles. Some slaying of enemies of the Dark Side is also required, which may be performed using the Force or hand weapons.
Qualified applicants would possess good communications skills (especially when speaking in menacing whispers), and would be action-oriented individuals and risk takers. A background in study of the Force (light side or dark) is desirable, as would typically be acquired by those with advanced degrees or significant course work in Jedi Arts from the University of Coruscant. Applicants should also be familiar with holographic projection equipment, possess a valid galactic pilot's license (for all classes of ships), and must show a willingness to give in to their hate.
A proven track record of using fear and/or Jedi mind tricks to control others is also desirable, as is the ability to speak several galactic languages.
Ideal candidates for this position would also have no children or other living relatives who are strong in the ways of the Force. (A new hire would be given several weeks to meet this requirement.)
Compensation for this position is commensurate with experience, and is extremely competitive for this field.
Benefits include a generous severance package, a company starship, and a dark-colored clothing allowance.
The Apprentice Sith Lord reports to and works closely with the Sith Master, and experience in such small, team-based organizations is vital to the success of the master's plans. Discretion is also highly valued, as is the ability to see the future before it happens.
Dark Side CG (tm) is a small and highly-focused organization, founded a long time ago. Our core values reflect the short-term advantages of harnessing hatred for institutional power and the long-term desirability of controlling the galaxy. We provide direction to our partner organizations through knowledge management, incident control and our rapid on-site intervention expertise. Our partnered organizations include the Imperial Senate, the Hutt Gambling Collective of Tattooine, and many large software companies.
It's a good thing they don't have to qualify at the laser range (according to the movies I've seen)
Killingbeans
Major Contributor
That's why I, for the most part, don't enjoy driving.
Killingbeans
Major Contributor
I'm neither into cross-dressing nor have a shoe fetish, but... OMG! I want a pair!
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digicidal
Major Contributor
Me too... even if they were never worn, that would make one hell of a conversation piece. I wouldn't even put them on a table or shelf... just leave them by the door with the normal shoes and wait for people to say something.
