First, sorry you’re not happy with them. I’m puzzled because the reviews on Massdrop are quite uniformly good in terms of sound quality.
Lots of good advice here about how to deal with the situation. I’d pick just one or two of the big issues you have, and contact Sennheiser. If you can get them measured, that’s ideal. While you’re clearly upset, a calm and measured request, as short and direct as possible, will get you better results. I think your position is, “I’ve received a faulty product. It doesn’t meet the standards I’ve come to expect from Sennheiser and the reviews I’ve read. The only possibility is that they are faulty.”
They have criteria for when they will approve a replacement. Your only job is to tell the truth and make it easy to check those boxes. Any attempt to convey the extent of your anguish or shame them will, at the very least, have no effect.
Keep your cool, and good luck!