A Call For Humor!

[mhardy6647]

yer on a roll, @Boris Badinov!

EDIT: Ooops, I meant...

 

[mhardy6647]

My wife cc'd me on a forward of this from facebook or someplace.
I share this because it is at least rather amusing, and also reasonably accurate -- if not quite wicked pissah.
I added a few editorial comments.

Just so you people from MA don't forget your roots. And for those of you who try to understand us New Englanders.
The geographical center of Boston is in Roxbury.
Due north of the center we find the South End.
This is not to be confused with South Boston which lies directly east from the South End.
North of the South End is East Boston and southwest of East Boston is the North End.
There is no school on School Street , no court on Court Street, no dock on Dock Square , and no water on Water Street .
Back Bay Boston streets are in alphabetical ordah: Arlington , Berkeley , Clarendon, Dartmouth , etc.
So are South Boston streets: A, B, C, D, etc.
If the streets are named after trees (e.g. Walnut, Chestnut, Cedar) you are on Beacon Hill.
If they are named after poets, you are in Wellesley.
Massachusetts Avenue is Mass Ave.
Commonwealth Avenue is Comm Ave.
South Boston is Southie.
The South End is The South End.
East Boston is Eastie.
The North End is east of the former West End.
The West End and Scollay Square are no more; a guy named Rappaport got rid of them one night.
Roxbury is The Berry. [this is one I've not heard in my peri-Boston peregrinations]
Jamaica Plain is J.P.
There are two State Houses, two City Halls, two courthouses, and two Hancock buildings (one is very old; one is relatively new).
The colored lights on top the old Hancock tells the weathah:
"Solid blue, clear view."
"Flashing blue, clouds due."
"Solid red, rain ahead."
"Flashing red, snow instead." (except in summer, flashing red means the Red Sox game was rained out!)
Most people live here all their life and still do not know what the hell is going on with this one:
Route 128 South is I-95 south and it is also I-93 north. [utterly true and it's actually worse than that because I-95 south effectively turns into I-93 north unless one takes an exit -- we really don't worry much about land invasions in the Boston area; they'll never find us]
The underground train is not a subway. It is the T, and it does not run all night
(Fah chrysakes, this ain't Noo Yawk).
Order the cold tea in China Town after 2:00 AM; you will get a kettle full of beer.
Bostonians: think that it is their God-given right to cut off someone in traffic. (It is!) [left turns from the right lane are also "permitted" if there are too many cahs already in the left lane actually yielding to oncoming traffic before turning]
Bostonians: think that there are only 25 letters in the alphabet (No Rs, except in idear.)
Bostonians: think that three straight days of 90+ temperatures is a heat wave.
Bostonians: refer to six inches of snow as a dusting.
Bostonians: always bang a left as soon as the light turns green, and oncoming traffic always expects it.. We also Bang U ies but take rights.
Bostonians: believe that using your turn signal is a sign of weakness. (It is.)
Bostonians: think that 63 degree ocean water is warm.
Bostonians: think Rhode Island accents are annoying.
The bridge connecting Boston and Cambridge via Massachusetts Avenue is commonly known as the Harvard Bridge. (Or Hahvahd Bridge).
When it was built, the state offered to name the bridge for the Cambridge school that could present the best claim for the honor. Harvard submitted an essay detailing its contributions to education in America, concluding that it deserved the honor of having a bridge leading into Cambridge named for the institution...
MIT did a structural analysis of the bridge and found it so full of defects that they agreed that it should be named for Harvard.
This is all true!
Do not pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd. They will tow it to Meffad (Medford) or Summahville (Somerville) [or the Ville]
Do not sleep on the Common. (Boston Common)
Do not wear orange in Southie on St. Patrick's Day.
The Sox = The Red Sox.
The Cs = The Celtics. [also "Gang Green"]
The Bs = The Bruins.
The Pats = The Patriots.
How to pronounce these Massachusetts cities correctly:
Worcester: Wuhsta or Wistah.
Gloucester: Glawsta.
Leicester: Lesta.
Woburn: Woobun.
Dedham: Dead-um.
Revere: Re-vee-ah.
Quincy: Quinzee.
Tewksbury: Tooks-ber-ry.
Leominster: Lemon-sta.
Peabody: Pee-ba-dee.
Waltham: Walth-ham.
Chatham: Chad-dum.
Samoset: Sam-oh-set or Sum-aw-set, but nevah Summerset!
Massachusetts Facts :
Frappes are made with ice cream - milkshakes are not.
If it is carbonated and flavored, it is tonic.
Tonic means Soda.
When we want Club Soda we ask for CLUB SODA .
When we want Tonic Water we ask for TONIC WATER .
Pop is another name for Dad.
The smallest beer is a pint.
Scrod is whatever they tell you it is, usually white fish. If you paid more than $7 per pound, you just got scrod.
It is not a water fountain.. it is a bubblah.
It is not a trash can... it is a barrel.
It is not a hero, or a grinder... it is a sub.
It is not a shopping caht... it is a carriage.
It is not a purse... it is a pockabook.
They are not franks... they are haht dahgs.
Franks are money used in Switzahland.
Police do not drive patrol units or black and whites... they drive a crewza.
If you take the bus, your on the looza crooza.
It is not a rubber band.. it is an elastic.
It is not a traffic circle or round about... it is a rotary.
"Going to the islands" means going to Martha's Vineyard or Nantucket.

One of the corollaries of this list: One can be lost in the Boston area and not even realize it. Paradoxically, one can also be not lost in the Boston area -- and not even realize it. Again, my belief is that this dates back to the Revolution. It worked to defeat the British, and no one else's managed a takeover to date.

Google streetview of the intersection of Route 2 and Route 128. I used to work at a biopharma company just past and to the left of this intersection.

 

[Blumlein 88]

A community near me named borough named all of its streets exactly the same as Back Bay Boston. Have no idea why.

 

[mhardy6647]

A community near me named borough named all of its streets exactly the same as Back Bay Boston. Have no idea why.

Any trouble with Redcoats?

 

[mhardy6647]

I think I've shared this before, but this intersection sign, located on MA route 27 in Acton MA, just north of the aforementioned Route 2, is one of my very favorites. It is also absolutely accurate.
EDIT: It's just in front of the utility pole on the right side of the roadway in the Google streetview below.

 

[Blumlein 88]

Any trouble with Redcoats?

Nope. No good pints either however.

 

[mhardy6647]

(courtesy of our friends at Club Polk)

 

[Boris Badinov]

​

My wife cc'd me on a forward of this from facebook or someplace.
I share this because it is at least rather amusing, and also reasonably accurate -- if not quite wicked pissah.
I added a few editorial comments.

Just so you people from MA don't forget your roots. And for those of you who try to understand us New Englanders.
The geographical center of Boston is in Roxbury.
Due north of the center we find the South End.
This is not to be confused with South Boston which lies directly east from the South End.
North of the South End is East Boston and southwest of East Boston is the North End.
There is no school on School Street , no court on Court Street, no dock on Dock Square , and no water on Water Street .
Back Bay Boston streets are in alphabetical ordah: Arlington , Berkeley , Clarendon, Dartmouth , etc.
So are South Boston streets: A, B, C, D, etc.
If the streets are named after trees (e.g. Walnut, Chestnut, Cedar) you are on Beacon Hill.
If they are named after poets, you are in Wellesley.
Massachusetts Avenue is Mass Ave.
Commonwealth Avenue is Comm Ave.
South Boston is Southie.
The South End is The South End.
East Boston is Eastie.
The North End is east of the former West End.
The West End and Scollay Square are no more; a guy named Rappaport got rid of them one night.
Roxbury is The Berry. [this is one I've not heard in my peri-Boston peregrinations]
Jamaica Plain is J.P.
There are two State Houses, two City Halls, two courthouses, and two Hancock buildings (one is very old; one is relatively new).
The colored lights on top the old Hancock tells the weathah:
"Solid blue, clear view."
"Flashing blue, clouds due."
"Solid red, rain ahead."
"Flashing red, snow instead." (except in summer, flashing red means the Red Sox game was rained out!)
Most people live here all their life and still do not know what the hell is going on with this one:
Route 128 South is I-95 south and it is also I-93 north. [utterly true and it's actually worse than that because I-95 south effectively turns into I-93 north unless one takes an exit -- we really don't worry much about land invasions in the Boston area; they'll never find us]
The underground train is not a subway. It is the T, and it does not run all night
(Fah chrysakes, this ain't Noo Yawk).
Order the cold tea in China Town after 2:00 AM; you will get a kettle full of beer.
Bostonians: think that it is their God-given right to cut off someone in traffic. (It is!) [left turns from the right lane are also "permitted" if there are too many cahs already in the left lane actually yielding to oncoming traffic before turning]
Bostonians: think that there are only 25 letters in the alphabet (No Rs, except in idear.)
Bostonians: think that three straight days of 90+ temperatures is a heat wave.
Bostonians: refer to six inches of snow as a dusting.
Bostonians: always bang a left as soon as the light turns green, and oncoming traffic always expects it.. We also Bang U ies but take rights.
Bostonians: believe that using your turn signal is a sign of weakness. (It is.)
Bostonians: think that 63 degree ocean water is warm.
Bostonians: think Rhode Island accents are annoying.
The bridge connecting Boston and Cambridge via Massachusetts Avenue is commonly known as the Harvard Bridge. (Or Hahvahd Bridge).
When it was built, the state offered to name the bridge for the Cambridge school that could present the best claim for the honor. Harvard submitted an essay detailing its contributions to education in America, concluding that it deserved the honor of having a bridge leading into Cambridge named for the institution...
MIT did a structural analysis of the bridge and found it so full of defects that they agreed that it should be named for Harvard.
This is all true!
Do not pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd. They will tow it to Meffad (Medford) or Summahville (Somerville) [or the Ville]
Do not sleep on the Common. (Boston Common)
Do not wear orange in Southie on St. Patrick's Day.
The Sox = The Red Sox.
The Cs = The Celtics. [also "Gang Green"]
The Bs = The Bruins.
The Pats = The Patriots.
How to pronounce these Massachusetts cities correctly:
Worcester: Wuhsta or Wistah.
Gloucester: Glawsta.
Leicester: Lesta.
Woburn: Woobun.
Dedham: Dead-um.
Revere: Re-vee-ah.
Quincy: Quinzee.
Tewksbury: Tooks-ber-ry.
Leominster: Lemon-sta.
Peabody: Pee-ba-dee.
Waltham: Walth-ham.
Chatham: Chad-dum.
Samoset: Sam-oh-set or Sum-aw-set, but nevah Summerset!
Massachusetts Facts :
Frappes are made with ice cream - milkshakes are not.
If it is carbonated and flavored, it is tonic.
Tonic means Soda.
When we want Club Soda we ask for CLUB SODA .
When we want Tonic Water we ask for TONIC WATER .
Pop is another name for Dad.
The smallest beer is a pint.
Scrod is whatever they tell you it is, usually white fish. If you paid more than $7 per pound, you just got scrod.
It is not a water fountain.. it is a bubblah.
It is not a trash can... it is a barrel.
It is not a hero, or a grinder... it is a sub.
It is not a shopping caht... it is a carriage.
It is not a purse... it is a pockabook.
They are not franks... they are haht dahgs.
Franks are money used in Switzahland.
Police do not drive patrol units or black and whites... they drive a crewza.
If you take the bus, your on the looza crooza.
It is not a rubber band.. it is an elastic.
It is not a traffic circle or round about... it is a rotary.
"Going to the islands" means going to Martha's Vineyard or Nantucket.

One of the corollaries of this list: One can be lost in the Boston area and not even realize it. Paradoxically, one can also be not lost in the Boston area -- and not even realize it. Again, my belief is that this dates back to the Revolution. It worked to defeat the British, and no one else's managed a takeover to date.

Google streetview of the intersection of Route 2 and Route 128. I used to work at a biopharma company just past and to the left of this intersection.
View attachment 331656

Your Cousin From Boston:

 

[mhardy6647]

Nope. No good pints either however.

Like so many things in life -- a mixed blessing.

I didn't even mention the "boro"/"borough" thing, although your earlier post touched on it. There are, of course, many boroughs in the Bay State. Signage (is that really a word? ) tends to render the names thus: Boxborough, Westborough, etc. The USPS, however (and, if memory serves) prefers (boro) -- that Noah Webster thing, you know? -- so one will also see Boxboro, Westboro, etc. I do love New England. Really.

 

[Blumlein 88]

Like so many things in life -- a mixed blessing.

I didn't even mention the "boro"/"borough" thing, although your earlier post touched on it. There are, of course, many boroughs in the Bay State. Signage (is that really a word? ) tends to render the names thus: Boxborough, Westborough, etc. The USPS, however (and, if memory serves) prefers (boro) -- that Noah Webster thing, you know? -- so one will also see Boxboro, Westboro, etc. I do love New England. Really.

That's funny. The borough I mentioned actually used boro for the spelling.

 

[Timcognito]

I had two posts that were removed. I had no intention whatsoever to mess with anyone. Nor did I complain. I simply thought both were humorous in a way that wouldn't bother anyone. I wasn't promoting or pushing any idea/person politically. One was a copy from a humorous satire website, and the other involved an equal number of Democrats and Republicans in USA politics. It didn't imply or intend anything whatsoever about either group. So I believed it wouldn't upset anyone, but might simply provide a chuckle being what I thought was a relatively non-political joke using political figures.

Now I will complain a little bit. I was told my post generated complaints. So it isn't a complaint about moderator action. If my post generated complaints they were appropriately removed. Simply a complaint that humor in current times triggers too many people when honestly, especially with my 2nd post I am at a total loss as to how it could have upset anyone whatsoever. I didn't even name any politicians, political ideas or promote or disparage any aspect of politics other than saying politicians were the source from which the post was generated. The post was as close as I can imagine to being totally content free without not being a post. I could have generated a post using my own initials. I assume that wouldn't have caused a complaint even though the words on the screen would be the same. So words that I said came from my initials is fine, but exact same words from a politician's initials upsets people? Wow.

Perhaps those who complained can send me a conversation as to what upset them. I promise not to reply, I just wonder what the thinking was. Or maybe the mods could send me the complaints with no names attached.

Sorry for causing problems. Perhaps the mods will remove this post as it upsets the flow of the thread. Just wanted to express my bewilderment.

Welcome to the Club

 

[AdamG]

Just wanted to express my bewilderment.

Please know that We the Volunteer Moderation Team, share in your bewilderment every day and every hour. We are just trying to maintain order and prevent this train from derailing. The complaints we get on a daily basis would have you face palming so frequently that you would have permanent indentations on your face. We do dismiss without action a large percentage. Making these decisions one after another is not an easy job. No matter what we decide we piss off someone. Yes, of course I have gotten some calls wrong. Never going to get them all right and when dealing with people and their feelings it’s all grey area. It’s not a perfect science managing a Forum of this complexity with so many accomplished professionals. But we try. And we keep trying because it is the job we agreed to do for the purpose of relieving Amir from having this workload to deal with himself.

I am open to any suggestions or feedback that you have and I have taken your comments as constructive criticism and will try to do better in the future. As one of our “Founding Members” I take anything that you say as important and valuable to guide how we do things here. Thank you for your insights and suggestions. At the end of the day this is your Forum and I am here to serve the Community.

Thank you for your continued support Sir.

 

[Pegwill]

 

[KellenVancouver]

Long as we're posting street view pictures, riddle me this Batman: Referring to the picture below showing a signalized intersection in Milas, Turkey, what gives when a stop sign ("DUR" in Turkish) controls an intersection in addition to a signal? This phenomenon is common across Turkey, and I even saw it in Greece. Conflict much?

 

[sergeauckland]

In the UK, some traffic lights only operate during peak hours, the rest of the time the junction is controlled by a Stop or Give Way sign. Maybe Turkey has the same system.

S.

 

[mhardy6647]

In the UK, some traffic lights only operate during peak hours, the rest of the time the junction is controlled by a Stop or Give Way sign. Maybe Turkey has the same system.

S.

Or perhaps prone to power failures?

 

[xray]

Maybe it's meant to generate revenue from tickets. You either get a ticket for running a stop sign or holding up traffic on a green. You can't win.

 

[KellenVancouver]

 

[KellenVancouver]

Maybe it's meant to generate revenue from tickets. You either get a ticket for running a stop sign or holding up traffic on a green. You can't win.

Right?? Since I drove through this intersection after visiting the ancient ruins of Labranda earlier this year I can tell you how it actually works in real time. The signal controls. Once it turns green, all the Turks drive straight through without stopping. And notice the second stop sign placed in the median; that was also ignored as vehicles drove through the intersection with a green light. So why the stop signs if they are ignored? After I saw the same situation at a signalized intersection in Greece I asked a local what the deal was (since generally the Greeks tend to speak a bit more English than the Turks, though neither is on par with, say, the Dutch) and he wasn't entirely sure, they always just pay attention to the signal. However, he thought maybe it had to do with pedestrians such that no matter what other road conditions prevailed the stop sign was there to protect any pedestrian that was crossing the street, even in front of a green light. I guess that makes as much sense as any other explanation, but still seems a bit goofy.

 

[Prana Ferox]

Long as we're posting street view pictures, riddle me this Batman: Referring to the picture below showing a signalized intersection in Milas, Turkey, what gives when a stop sign ("DUR" in Turkish) controls an intersection in addition to a signal? This phenomenon is common across Turkey, and I even saw it in Greece. Conflict much?
View attachment 331688

Any time I see an Anatolian anachronism like this, I just remember the wise answer of the ages:

Why did this crossing get the works?
It's no one's business but the Turks.