-
WANTED: Happy members who like to discuss audio and other topics related to our interest. Desire to learn and share knowledge of science required. There are many reviews of audio hardware and expert members to help answer your questions. Click here to have your audio equipment measured for free!
A Call For Humor!
- Thread starter Tks
- Start date
BBC news reporter has giggling fit as he attempts to report on the burning of 8 tons of hash, opium, heroin
Last edited:
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2016
- Messages
- 20,793
- Likes
- 37,696
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2016
- Messages
- 20,793
- Likes
- 37,696
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2016
- Messages
- 20,793
- Likes
- 37,696
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2016
- Messages
- 20,793
- Likes
- 37,696
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2016
- Messages
- 20,793
- Likes
- 37,696
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2016
- Messages
- 20,793
- Likes
- 37,696
Hopefully not the meeting about the Artemis 1.
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2016
- Messages
- 20,793
- Likes
- 37,696
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2016
- Messages
- 20,793
- Likes
- 37,696
Last edited:
Waxx
Major Contributor
Waxx
Major Contributor
Waxx
Major Contributor
I went to Walmart today, and I was there for literally 5 minutes.
When I came out there was a state trooper writing a parking ticket for being in a handicap spot.
So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?"
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked cop. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires!
So I then asked him if his psychiatrist makes him lie face down on the couch cause he's so ugly.
He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!
This went on until he had placed 5 tickets on the windshield... the more I insulted him, the more tickets he wrote.
I didn't care.
My car was parked around the corner.
When I came out there was a state trooper writing a parking ticket for being in a handicap spot.
So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?"
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked cop. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires!
So I then asked him if his psychiatrist makes him lie face down on the couch cause he's so ugly.
He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!
This went on until he had placed 5 tickets on the windshield... the more I insulted him, the more tickets he wrote.
I didn't care.
My car was parked around the corner.
Three men are walking along when they find a magic lamp. They rub the magic lamp and out pops a genie. The genie is so grateful to be free from the lamp he grants each of the men 3 wishes.
The first man instantly shouts, “I wish I had a billion dollars!” The genie nods his head and when the man checks his bank account he sees his balance has increased by a billion dollars. The second man thinks and says, “I wish I was the richest man in the world.” The genie nods and the mans bank account shows over 300 billion dollars. The third man thinks even longer and asks, “I wish my right arm would rotate clockwise forever without stopping.” The genie nods and the mans arm starts to spin.
Time for the second wish and the first man again yells out, “I wish I had a beautiful wife.” Suddenly a gorgeous woman appears by his side. The second man thinks and says, “I want to be handsome, fit, charming, and irresistible to women.” The genie nods and the man's acne clears, wrinkles smooth, and his beer belly disappears. Suddenly he has a cut physique, six-pack abs and is stunningly handsome. The third man pauses and asks, “I wish my left arm would rotate counter-clockwise forever without stopping.” The genie nods and the man's left arm starts spinning in the opposite direction of his right arm.
For his third wish the first man yells, “I want to be strong and healthy until the day I die.” The genie makes it so. The second man thinks and says, “I want to stay 29 forever and never age a day.” The genie makes it so. The third man thinks for a long time and finally says, “I want my head to nod back and forth forever.” The genie nods and the man's head starts nodding back and forth.
Many years after the encounter with the genie the three men meet up at a bar. They begin talking about how their lives have changed. The first man says, “I invested my money wisely, my family will never want for anything, my beautiful wife and I make love every day and I’ve not had so much as a cold since the last time we saw each other.” The second man says, “I also invested wisely. I've become the world's greatest philanthropist while also staying the world’s wealthiest man. I’ve traveled, made love to many beautiful, exotic women and still have the energy and looks of a young man.”
The third man, with his right arm spinning clockwise, his left arm spinning counter-clockwise, head nodding back and forth says to the first two, “Guys, I think I fucked up.”
The first man instantly shouts, “I wish I had a billion dollars!” The genie nods his head and when the man checks his bank account he sees his balance has increased by a billion dollars. The second man thinks and says, “I wish I was the richest man in the world.” The genie nods and the mans bank account shows over 300 billion dollars. The third man thinks even longer and asks, “I wish my right arm would rotate clockwise forever without stopping.” The genie nods and the mans arm starts to spin.
Time for the second wish and the first man again yells out, “I wish I had a beautiful wife.” Suddenly a gorgeous woman appears by his side. The second man thinks and says, “I want to be handsome, fit, charming, and irresistible to women.” The genie nods and the man's acne clears, wrinkles smooth, and his beer belly disappears. Suddenly he has a cut physique, six-pack abs and is stunningly handsome. The third man pauses and asks, “I wish my left arm would rotate counter-clockwise forever without stopping.” The genie nods and the man's left arm starts spinning in the opposite direction of his right arm.
For his third wish the first man yells, “I want to be strong and healthy until the day I die.” The genie makes it so. The second man thinks and says, “I want to stay 29 forever and never age a day.” The genie makes it so. The third man thinks for a long time and finally says, “I want my head to nod back and forth forever.” The genie nods and the man's head starts nodding back and forth.
Many years after the encounter with the genie the three men meet up at a bar. They begin talking about how their lives have changed. The first man says, “I invested my money wisely, my family will never want for anything, my beautiful wife and I make love every day and I’ve not had so much as a cold since the last time we saw each other.” The second man says, “I also invested wisely. I've become the world's greatest philanthropist while also staying the world’s wealthiest man. I’ve traveled, made love to many beautiful, exotic women and still have the energy and looks of a young man.”
The third man, with his right arm spinning clockwise, his left arm spinning counter-clockwise, head nodding back and forth says to the first two, “Guys, I think I fucked up.”
Last edited:
mhardy6647
Grand Contributor
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2019
- Messages
- 11,414
- Likes
- 24,778
