Totaly agree .Hi Tangband.
The stereo system is flawed like you say and some reflections from the listening room are probably needed, but no more than just masking the most obvious stereo flaws and enhancing the music experience. Listening to music in an anechoic chamber is not very pleasant according to people with that type of experience.
But the reflections from the listening room can never help us hear a more accurate reproduction of the room in the recording, they can only blur out the recorded reflections that otherwise would appear (tricked by the stereo illusion) to come from any point in the phantom image somewhere between the speakers. The reflections from the listening room have all been generated by the two speakers' positions in the room instead of the points where the different sounds in the recording should have come from otherwise (besides the hard-panned stuff), therefore the reflections can only blur our view into the recorded room.
In short, a higher ratio of direct sound vs reflective sound will give us better insight into the recording.
Yes, there is a fine balance between the direct sound from the speaker and the benefit from reflections from the walls in the listening room . But its not impossible to fine tune the loudspeaker position for the clearest bass-pitch and at the same time have the right amount of diffusing material on the walls , masking the stereo flaws.