I literally have no audiophile friends for this reason, just can't deal with the audiophoolery. What I will tell people, though, is what I personally experienced first hand: when I did DBT tests---back when my ears were young---I could not hear any difference whatsoever between TOL amps/preamps and a cheap but good measuring receiver (using good speakers and acoustics).
It has to be experienced. Before the DBTs, when you know what's playing, you hear differences (slam, timing, etc); during the DBTs everything sounds exactly the same (but not any less good, there's nothing missing); and after the DBTs, if you're smart about it, any interest in "audible" differences in good-measuring electronics just sort of fades away,
I think the personal DBT experience is the only way to make any headway against audiophoolery.