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A Call For Humor!

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Guy goes to a psychiatrist for the first time. Shrink decides to begin by showing the new patient a series of ink blots - the Rorschach test. Darned if every one of those ink blots didn't make the patient think of sex. Shrink says, in a cheesy Austrian accent, "Your problem iss opvious. You are preoccupied mit sex." Patient replies, "I'm preoccupied? Those are YOUR pictures dude!" :D
 
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An Original Irish Joke
Friday night, Mick went to his friend Paddy and said, "Paddy, I need a favour - I'm sleeping with the bartender's wife. Can you hold him in the pub for an hour after he closes up?"
Paddy was not very fond of the idea, but being Mick's lifelong friend, he reluctantly agreed.
After the pub closed, Paddy struck up a conversation with the bartender asking him all sorts of stupid questions in an effort to keep him occupied. After some time, the bartender became suspicious and asked, "Paddy what are you really up to with all this?"
Paddy, filled with feelings of guilt and remorse, confessed to the bartender and said, "I'm sorry Seamus, my friend Mick is sleeping with your wife right now and asked me to keep you occupied."
The bartender smiled and putting a brotherly hand on Paddy's shoulder, said "Paddy I think you'd better hurry home, my wife died two years ago."
 
Found on AudioCircle:

Q: Why are the Great Pyramids in Egypt?

A: Because they wouldn't fit in the British Museum.

Thanks syzygy.
 
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