Audiophoolery humour thread

[StefaanE]

Then, of course, you need to burn-in your cables:
https://www.kempelektroniksshop.nl/blue-horizon-proburn.html
and repeat the process every six to eight weeks. I can’t think of a better way to spend €1000. Die, dastardly dust bunnies!

 

[mansr]

Actually, the manufacturer makes this silly claim (my translation): "CD, DVD and bluray discs are made of polycarbonate, which has dipole groups that can be polarized, which affects the refractive index, ie an optical property that affects the disc so that it becomes easier to read for record players with the obvious sound improvement that occurs."

Sadly enough, about five local esoteric hifi/audiophoolery retailers carry this junk, sells at about USD 150.

It's true that the discs are made of polycarbonate. I don't know about dipole groups, but the rest is obviously nonsense. Surely they would have chosen a different material if PC was so troublesome.

 

[magicscreen]

I have used this for my CD. It sounds audibly better now. As different as chalk and cheese.

 

[JSHamlet234]

I have used this for my CD. It sounds audibly better now. As different as chalk and cheese.

Are those natural fibers or synthetic? I've always found that the natural fiber dusters give a warmer sound with a lot more meat on the bones. Sometimes you can get away with just using a natural fiber pre-duster, but that's up for debate.

 

[Sal1950]

I have used this for my CD. It sounds audibly better now. As different as chalk and cheese.

I saw those for sale in a sex toy catolog.

 

[sergeauckland]

A well-loved English comedian, Ken Dodd, made a career out of the Tickling Stick. He might have done much better if he'd suggested it would improve your HiFi rather than just your love life.

 

[mhardy6647]

I dunno, he should try undoing that loop

That's no loop -- that's a filter.

 

[magicscreen]

Are those natural fibers or synthetic? I've always found that the natural fiber dusters give a warmer sound with a lot more meat on the bones. Sometimes you can get away with just using a natural fiber pre-duster, but that's up for debate.

I was serious. My CD was dusty and sounded distorted. But after removing the dust it was perfect sounding.
Anyway it was an interesting case.
I played the Beatles - Wild Honey Pie track. It was good. And played some other CDs. And the Wild Honey Pie again. And sounded extremely distorted! May be skipping little parts of the track too.
I was afraid the CD player went wrong because it was 30 years old.
Then I saw the dust on the surface. Phew.

 

[JSHamlet234]

I was serious. My CD was dusty and sounded distorted. But after removing the dust it was perfect sounding.
Anyway it was an interesting case.
I played the Beatles - Wild Honey Pie track. It was good. And played some other CDs. And the Wild Honey Pie again. And sounded extremely distorted! May be skipping little parts of the track too.
I was afraid the CD player went wrong because it was 30 years old.
Then I saw the dust on the surface. Phew.

It must have been cheap dust. I prefer to lightly coat my CDs with audiophile-grade polypropylene dust. It really expands the soundstage.

 

[JustJones]

I think some have crossed into the twilight zone talking about replacing driver screws with brass screws for improved sound.

https://forum.audiogon.com/discussions/replacing-driver-screws-with-brass-screws

 

[mansr]

I think some have crossed into the twilight zone talking about replacing driver screws with brass screws for improved sound.

https://forum.audiogon.com/discussions/replacing-driver-screws-with-brass-screws

When you have a screw loose, almost any screwing around can seem like a good idea.

 

[mhardy6647]

It must have been cheap dust. I prefer to lightly coat my CDs with audiophile-grade polypropylene dust. It really expands the soundstage.

100% Carbon-13 content is best, you know.
Deuterium in place of the protium found in cheap polypropylene is really good, too -- Really crystallizes the soundstage the system throws.

 

[Fluffy]

When the power cable for the amplifier is too short:

https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aD4nGq9_460svvp9.webm

 

[bloodshoteyed]

Actually, the manufacturer makes this silly claim (my translation): "CD, DVD and bluray discs are made of polycarbonate, which has dipole groups that can be polarized, which affects the refractive index, ie an optical property that affects the disc so that it becomes easier to read for record players with the obvious sound improvement that occurs."

Sadly enough, about five local esoteric hifi/audiophoolery retailers carry this junk, sells at about USD 150.

so, basically it's some next level orgone esotheric machinations goning on there?

 

[NgtFlyer]

I dunno, he should try undoing that loop

I am sure they will say it's like a drain trap that "keeps the impure electrons out"

 

[NgtFlyer]

Quantum processing! Of course!

And, um.. about removing the whole fuse function from those...

 

[bloodshoteyed]

Actually, the manufacturer makes this silly claim (my translation): "CD, DVD and bluray discs are made of polycarbonate, which has dipole groups that can be polarized, which affects the refractive index, ie an optical property that affects the disc so that it becomes easier to read for record players with the obvious sound improvement that occurs."

Sadly enough, about five local esoteric hifi/audiophoolery retailers carry this junk, sells at about USD 150.

i would have needed that some 20 years ago when burnt cd's couldn't be read on all players

 

[Killingbeans]

And, um.. about removing the whole fuse function from those...

Just as I think I'v seen it all, the dumb gets dumber. It should probably be: "The principle of the design is to let you burn your house down and make your insurance company laugh at your face"

 

[magicscreen]

...

I am lucky! I can hear magic from a tube hybrid amplifier without these magic fuses.

 

[mhardy6647]

I (almost literally) stumbled across this Rodrigues cartoon today whilst poring through old backups of stuff looking for (of course) something else entirely.

I thought it amusing enough to share.