So why should we care about those maladies? if it's measuring flat then there's no further improvements possible.
You are stating an opinion as a fact. Try restating your point as a committed assertion by referencing the body of proof you are basing your opinion on. In prior posts I see that you have willfully ignored the scientific work of Toole and Olive. They backed up their assertions regarding off-axis response by conducting thousands of blind listening tests and determining the statistical relevance of their results. Do you have any such evidence to back that flat on-axis response is the ultimate measurement of speaker quality?
I have listed several speaker maladies that will not show up on a frequency response test. You are asking why you should care, so I'll explain two of them.
A frequency response test is just the measure of an output level achieved with a given input level for a particular frequency. When the signal is removed, the output should go to zero. However, this does not occur instantly and in the case of cabinet resonances, the signal could linger for quite a while. The on-axis response does not indicate how fast energy dissipates. Think of these resonances as a reverb effect that only works at certain frequencies.
As I said earlier, the frequency response test measures one frequency at a time (even in a chirp). Intermodulation distortion is a problem that occurs only when more than one frequency is present. High intermodulation between bass and mids creates a tremolo like effect on the mids. If you were to quickly move your forefinger up and down across your adams apple while talking, you get an idea what a high level of intermods sounds like.
I'm not a betting man. However, I have a sneaking suspicion that the accusations that you are just trolling for fun are accurate. If you are not, then please provide a cogent basis for your assertion.