Sorry, late to the party here. I am currently an academic at a "major research university" and have spent my 40+ year career at such institutions, including MIT, etc. I always give students and parents the same advice - do a broad search when looking at universities and find a place that matches with your personal style and passions. MIT is an amazing place, but you better be passionate about STEM and willing to burn the midnight oil on a regular basis. People are intense and work ridiculously hard. It isn't for everyone (there is a reason first semester is P/F only and has been likened to drinking out of a firehose). I would worry less about your daughter's particular interests at this point (she is young, they may change) and more about some of these dimensions:
1) Very problem set/traditional education focus vs. more group work and hands on experiences?
2) Small, Medium or Large school (there are great faculty at all places and many wonderful faculty at non major research universities - don't be sucked into their PR)?
3) Urban or rural campus? Makes a difference in the experience?
4) Residential colleges (e.g., stay in same dorm for most of one's college career with same cohort and some residential faculty) vs. more traditional places with dorms then apartments, but move every year.
5) Look at how hard it is to change majors. Particularly in computer science and engineering - many schools now make you explicitly apply to compsci - if you don't get admitted to compsci, it is difficult to transfer into that major (sometimes true for engineering or statistics/Machine Learning as well). ask about this - schools tend to BS about ease of transfer within the school, but isn't always really the case
6) Internship programs/track record - how much can students gain real-world experiences?
There are others, but these come to mind off the top of my head.
I also always emphasize that there are 100's of great academic institutions and they all have some dedicated faculty (and some not) - so worry less about prestige and more about somewhere that suits your personal style and preferences. The better your experience, the more you will learn. And don't get your heart set on one or two places. Modern academic admissions have become almost silly, so focus on a larger set of schools that are a good fit and be thrilled when you get into even one of them! Don't set yourself up for disappointment.
As for finances, I think you can do a trial run financial aid assessment through the college board. Worth doing. Many schools do provide some financial aid, but also expect loans. You should do such assessments and then have an honest talk with your child about tradeoffs between cost and desired schools. But remember, best places for your child are often not the most expensive. Don't fall for the audiophile fallacy that more expensive means better!