I agree, but exposure time also plays a significant role.
Mixing at 84dB all day is ridiculous and will result in accelerated hearing loss. I do however also need my speakers to go loud for those 10-20 minutes a day figuring out certain parts of the mix. If my speaker system can't sustain 90dB with peaks around 14 dB higher than that then it's not doing its job. KH310s are unable to do this until you add in a sub and the Neumann subs are unfortunately prone to blowing drivers when you use them this loud.
Also, the artists aren't listening to the same things you are. Audiophiles wouldn't know where to begin when it comes to making the kind of sonic decisions needed in the music making process. I've noticed a large discrepancy here between what people on this forum think is needed in the music making process vs what's actually needed from a listening point of view. The days of a speaker being a tool used purely by classical or maybe jazz recording engineers are far in the past but I think even the great Floyd Toole still sees things this way (and hence, the entirety of this forum). The truth could not be further from this.
Before someone chimes in with a comment about poor sounding modern music, these are commercial forces and usually driven by label A&Rs and artist management. In my experience I haven't come across resistance from artists or producers when it comes to allowing music to be more dynamic and breathe more. These decisions instead are being forced upon the industry by the very people we need to keep happy to pay the mortgage.