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The bestiary of the most common (and debunked by science) audiophile myths

Somafunk

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I put my router behind my freezer to cryogenically treat my wifi and got the darkest, inkiest silence ever.

I have a theory regarding that phenomenon which, with a modicum of evaluation would make an excellent study for amir to present to AES later this year, it’ll lay it out below.

Introduction

This study builds on earlier research carried out by our esteemed colleague Emlin regarding the placement of a WiFi router behind a domestic freezer of 180 litre capacity fed by a 110v housing electrical supply in which an effect was noticeable on the subsequent audio stream that was most agreeable to his ears.

Purpose

This comprehensive study will set out to ascertain as to whether our esteemed colleague Emlin is talking out of his arse or whether he has stumbled upon a previously unknown phenomenon of great importance to those with far too much time on their hands.

Methodology

Emlin will be sat in his chair, blindfolded, in a carefully controlled home environment where he feels safe and loved, tea and refreshments will be provided for his comfort and toilet breaks will be allowed but due to the nature and significance of this study it will be necessary to provide a chaparone for these occasions, lest the diligence of this study be called into account. After careful consideration we have decided that a family member will accompany Emlin to the lavatory, his wife has accepted this role, mainly due to no-one else offering their services.

The router will be placed in two areas of the house and subsequent reactions and insight into the audio quality noted down and verified with an independent party present.

The first position will have the router situated behind the Freezer, Bob from next door has very kindly offered to aid us in moving the freezer as it is full of roadkill and rather heavy, obviously for health and code violations the freezer will not be opened at any point in the study and a full risk assessment will be carried out beforehand. The router will be switched on and Emlin will begin to listen to his 3 song playlist consisting of NSync : I Want Your Love, Shania Twain : You’re Still The One and finally Whitney Houston : I Will Always Love You whilst passing verbal comment on his auditory experience which will be noted down.

The second position will have the router placed on Emlins lap, disguised within the body of a dead cat, as Emlin owns many cats he will be none the wiser. Again he will listen to his playlist whilst commenting on his audio experience which will be noted down.

Results

The results show that Emlin correctly identified the position of the router with regard to audible differences on zero occasions, to further expand on these findings we retired to the pub to solidify our understanding on what had just taken place by considerable consumption of stong beer, upon reaching our unanimous conclusion we returned to the house where we found Emlin still sat in his chair, blindfolded and with a rapidly decomposing and maggot ridden dead cat on his lap, unfortunately this possibility was not included in our initial risk assessment. Authorities were duly noted and Emlin was carted away in a hazmat suit for decontamination.

Conclusions

Our initial thoughts that Emlin was talking out his arse were confirmed without any shadow of possible doubt.

The study showed that Emlin was mistaken as to the position of the router 6 times from 6 songs.

We see no need to carry out further investigations nor waste time and resources so we humbly present our findings for full scrutiny by the esteemed members of the AES society.

Addendum : In the time since our study has passed it has come to our attention that Emlins wife has filed for divorce and he is now living in a shed at the bottom of the garden, we believe our intrusion into his life did not precipitate this unfortunate sequence of events and trust he gets the help that he needs, a go fund me page has been set up to support Emlin and we hope to raise $100 to repair the shed roof as the raccoons are gaining entry and stealing Emlins favourite biscuits which has caused him considerable distress.
 
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Audiofire

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The study showed that Emlin was mistaken as to the position of the router 6 times from 6 songs.
Obviously just a tentative conclusion, because the study excluded an audiophile-grade hi-fi router like this one for 495 USD. Product description highlights:
-Upgrade Capacitors with high capacitance and low impedance tuned in 3 different stages for optimal sonic performance
-Upgrade Safety resistors with high power from Vishay Dale on DC input stage, power regulation stage, and isolation transformer stage
-Re-energize power supply with special tantalum capacitors to reducing noise and interference in processor chip effectively
-Crystal clock is upgraded with high precision clock optimized for network application with noise reduction tweaks
-Components are soldered with high quality solder providing solid bass and dynamics
-Router is configured for low-latency audiophile streaming applications
 

Somafunk

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Obviously just a tentative conclusion, because the study excluded an audiophile-grade hi-fi router like this one for 495 USD. Product description highlights:
To carry out such a study regarding the issue of an additional variable is fraught with complexity and potentially harmful, given the effort involved we will need a considerable sum of beer tokens to numb our fears over the possibility of another dead cat incident
 
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darrellc

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Naim/Linn and the whole toe-tapping timing thing in the 90s. I wanted to Klimax to it but had to settle for the underwhelming, middling pleasure of the LK100 cause I spent all my money on the source and the Kairn pre-amp.
 

Audiofire

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Naim/Linn and the whole toe-tapping timing thing in the 90s.
Depth or PRAT?

Paul McGowan states his point of view in this video: "I'm an idiot ... That's PRAT, yes we pay a lot of attention to it."
 

darrellc

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Depth or PRAT?

Paul McGowan states his point of view in this video: "I'm an idiot ... That's PRAT, yes we pay a lot of attention to it."
Must I choose, can't I have them both... DRAT!
 
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