Most idiotic subjective review comments

[CapMan]

The Positive Feedback (always good for a laugh) "review" of an $18,000 power strip called the PowerSlave Marble Statement: https://positive-feedback.com/Issue72/powerslave.htm

On a side note, for the longest time I've had a problem with image drift. Violin or woodwind soloists refused to stay put. (The rest of the stage was rock steady.) It didn't matter what gear I was using: when the soloist played in the midrange, he was dead center. As he moved up the scale, the image would start to veer left. The higher up he played, the further left he imaged. He would not stay put, regardless of what I tried. Eventually I stopped fussing and just accepted that was the way it was.

Case in point, the Prokofieff Violin Concerto, with Heifetz and Munch conducting the Boston Symphony Orchestra (RCA shaded dog, LSC-2314).

Finally, the Marble locked Heifetz in place. The violinist was close-up, obviously spot-miked, front and center, quite distinct from the orchestra. The orchestra was behind and on either side and encircled him in a hemisphere, and probably had one mike on each side, placed at a distance.

Now that is a doozy!

 

[CapMan]

The first thing appreciated when I plugged in the XXX USB was a calmness that came over the entire system. An additional dose of smoothness combined with an extra sprinkle of resolution simply left my current very high-end USB in the weeds. I didn’t realise how much I was missing until I connected the XXX USB. Going back to the usual reference afterwards was like listening to a piano that was slightly out of tune my cable really is an excellent listen at around £3000 cheaper.

When reviewers start using prose that describe a system that sounds out of time or out of tune, you have to question their sanity!

 

[Zaireeka]

The first thing appreciated when I plugged in the XXX USB was a calmness that came over the entire system. An additional dose of smoothness combined with an extra sprinkle of resolution simply left my current very high-end USB in the weeds. I didn’t realise how much I was missing until I connected the XXX USB. Going back to the usual reference afterwards was like listening to a piano that was slightly out of tune my cable really is an excellent listen at around £3000 cheaper.

When reviewers start using prose that describe a system that sounds out of time or out of tune, you have to question their sanity!

Unless manufacturers now hide sneaky DSP chips into the cable itself.

 

[Peluvius]

"With the XXXX in the system, the presentation took on a subtle yet very important increase in texture. Imagine viewing a painting behind a very clear piece of glass and then removing that piece of glass. It looked pretty good before but suddenly you can make out additional degrees of depth and detail in not only the colors but in the texture of the paint itself. This equates to microdynamics which are more highly differentiated."

 

[JSmith]

Let's say you do start listening for fly specks. And let's say you do start hearing some differences. Will you still be able to listen holistically again (or as Harvey "Gizmo" Rosenberg once put it, "wholistically")? And will you experience as much pleasure and enjoyment listening to music as you did previously? Or will those fly specks remain in the back of your mind nagging at you?

JSmith

 

[Slotenpiloot]

I wonder what people smoke all day to write reviews like these.. I want some of that stuff!

 

[CapMan]

As he moved up the scale, the image would start to veer left. The higher up he played, the further left he imaged.

Sounds like a weird room acoustic effect - perhaps he should have bought some absorbers instead of a snake-oil cable! It is so self -evident that a properly functioning cable cannot change the stereo balance to a degree that you can hear musicians wondering around. I despair.

 

[Rednaxela]

With it in place, I can now experience streamed music with something very close if not the equal of my very best local files. In some cases, I even prefer it over vinyl. There is now a more fundamentally correct amount of coherent attack, sustain and decay in the playback. There is a purity and lucidity that avoids fatigue and rewards timbral purity. All of this without the edge and grain that seemed to be the norm for most streamed music in the past. Bottom line. When streaming, I am now more emotionally connected than ever to the music!

 

[theREALdotnet]

You may be surprised, but I've met (virtually, thanks God) an individual, physicist by trade, who was selling cables with a mercury conductive core. Of course, the sound of these cables was nothing but fluid. And they kick ass in particular for heavy metal music!

Pfft, Depeche Mode perhaps. Real heavy metal requires osmium cables.

 

[fpitas]

Sounds like a weird room acoustic effect - perhaps he should have bought some absorbers instead of a snake-oil cable! It is so self -evident that a properly functioning cable cannot change the stereo balance to a degree that you can hear musicians wondering around. I despair.

Worse yet, it's just a power strip, not even a cable. I could believe he simply had a bad cable...

 

[JayGilb]

Sounds like a weird room acoustic effect - perhaps he should have bought some absorbers instead of a snake-oil cable! It is so self -evident that a properly functioning cable cannot change the stereo balance to a degree that you can hear musicians wondering around. I despair.

Or the recording engineers worked hard to capture the sound of the recording hall which was known for this acoustic effect.

 

[JSmith]

The results of the experiment were very apparent and heard instantly, and I was quite surprised at how good it sounded after the Cryogenic treatment. Everything appeared to be cleaner and had more definition; the transparency also improved, but the most significant improvement was the sound stage, which became more massive, and the sound became more robust and somehow attached to the ground.

JSmith

 

[fpitas]

JSmith

I hate it when the sound isn't attached to the ground.

 

[Dial]

"This new platter also incorporates new alloys to minimize any residual colorations. Based on my own [... ] knowledge, he spent years of experiments to find the optimum combination [... ]. The [... ] transcription platter also has extra weight at the outer rim, which provides even greater inertia than a typical transcription platter. (phew !) (However, because of the increased size of the Platter, an extra-long tonearm now becomes an actual requirement [... ])."
More : "The very first difference I heard (within seconds [... ]) was the improved flow of the music and, shortly after that, a greater separation of the instruments. By the end of the first LP [... ], I also observed less noise from the record (the critical part) ; a reduction of ambiguity (sic) ; a minor attenuation of the bass frequencies, but with superior quality and control; and cleaner and more precise sonics at all volume levels. Cumulatively, these observations constitute my first impression of the combination."

 

[mhardy6647]

I wonder if there are statistically higher rates of TMJ disorders in audio reviewers, what with their jaws dropping all the time, and stuff...

 

[fpitas]

I wonder if there are statistically higher rates of TMJ disorders in audio reviewers, what with their jaws dropping all the time, and stuff...

View attachment 223261

You jest, but I suspect that some need to clean out ear wax.

 

[sergeauckland]

Shouldn't we acknowledge the brilliant prose of these contributions by quoting the author and publication?

After all, we wouldn't want to be doing them a disservice.

S.

 

[Rednaxela]

@sergeauckland

Please don't name the product, reviewer or publication - this is just about the prose

 

[Rednaxela]

I wonder if there are statistically higher rates of TMJ disorders in audio reviewers, what with their jaws dropping all the time, and stuff...

View attachment 223261

And where does one leave all that air around the instruments?

 

[sergeauckland]

@sergeauckland

I know, but I think we're doing these masters of prose a disservice by not naming them, together with the illustrious organs that gave the free air of publication to these masterpieces of fiction.