Brits try real Texas BBQ for the first time!

[somebodyelse]

British pancakes (crepes) are better than those thick things in my opinion

'Those thick things' are pretty much a scots pancake, and closely related to the pikelets and pyclets in other British regions. More British than a crepe to my mind.

 

[Digby]

'Those thick things' are pretty much a scots pancake, and closely related to the pikelets and pyclets in other British regions. More British than a crepe to my mind.

well, trust the Scots to be difficult.

 

[DonH56]

Then there's this... From https://stuffhappens.us/man-selected-to-be-judge-at-chili-cook-off-15820/

Man Get’s Selected To Be A Judge At A Chili Cook-Off. This Is Hilarious.​

By
Kera Osborne
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Jun 11, 2015
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Do you have the temperament for spicy food? For some people, it just comes naturally to eat food that’s hotter than hot. For others, it’s like being asked to ingest poison. Here’s a word of warning: if you don’t particularly have a tolerance for spicy stuff, you shouldn’t sign up to judge spicy food contests. We think you will agree this man was in over his head when he agreed to sign up for this chili cook-off.

---

If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there’s no hope for you. I was crying by the end. This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in New Mexico.

“Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in… I was assured by the other two judges (Native New Mexicans) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3.”
Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI # 1 – MIKE’S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI​

Judge # 1 — A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 — Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) — Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that’s the worst one. These New Mexicans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 – EL RANCHO’S AFTERBURNER CHILI​

Judge # 1 — Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 — Exciting BBQflavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 — Keep this out of the reach of children. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3 – ALFREDO’S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI​

Judge # 1 — Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 — A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 — Call the EPA. I’ve located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I’m getting red-faced from all of the beer.

CHILI # 4=2 0- BUBBA’S BLACK MAGIC​

Judge # 1 — Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 — Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 — I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. Woman is starting to look HOT … Just like this nuclear waste I’m eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 – LISA’S LEGAL LIP REMOVER​

Judge # 1 — Meaty, strong chili. Jalapeno peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 — Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the jalapeno peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 — My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I’m burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.

CHILI # 6 – VARGA’S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY​

Judge # 1 — Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 — The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 — My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I’m worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can’t feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

CHILI # 7 – SUSAN’S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI​

Judge # 1 — A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 — Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 — You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn’t feel a thing. I’ve lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they’ll know what killed me. I’ve decided to stop breathing. It’s too painful. I’m not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I’ll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 – BIG TOM’S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI​

Judge # 1 — The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 — This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he’s going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he’d have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 — No report.

 

[MRC01]

I must say, the way they so appreciate this food speaks volume to their level of honesty and appreciation of what other cultures have to offer.
...

Well they are from Britain, which isn't exactly famous for its cuisine. Seems a low bar when it comes to foreign food being tastier than what they get at home. (no disparagement of Texas BBQ intended)

 

[MRC01]

Then there's this... From https://stuffhappens.us/man-selected-to-be-judge-at-chili-cook-off-15820/
...

Oldie but goodie.

 

[MRC01]

Well they are from Britain, which isn't exactly famous for its cuisine. Seems a low bar when it comes to foreign food being tastier than what they get at home. (no disparagement of Texas BBQ intended)

BTW, you've all heard the joke that starts like this:
In Heaven, the food is French, the cars are German, and the police are British.
In Hell, the food is British, the cars are French, and the police are German.

 

[CapMan]

I haven't visited England in many years, but found the food just horrible (and weird). Had a couple of roommates from England over the years and they were quick converts especially when I BBQd.

Objectively (since this is ASR) here is some data about Michelin Star restaurants by country

There is undoubtably a lot of bad food on the UK, but also some fantastically talented chefs. You just need to know where to go. London has the 6th highest number of Michelin star restaurants for a
City , one place behind NYC

 

[computer-audiophile]

The 15 best Florentine steaks in Florence

Our definitive selection of restaurants where you can eat the most famous Florentine dish

www.firenzemadeintuscany.com

 

[CapMan]

Well they are from Britain, which isn't exactly famous for its cuisine. Seems a low bar when it comes to foreign food being tastier than what they get at home. (no disparagement of Texas BBQ intended)

See my other post - your comment is just a rather lazy stereotype these days I’m afraid.

 

[Keith_W]

There is a selection bias involved with Michelin star restaurants, so I would not read too much into it. Just because a country has NO Michelin stars (e.g. Australia) does not mean that we do not have restaurants that are deserving of such awards. A number of Australian restaurants have featured in the World's Top 50, for example. Those have no Michelin stars.

Also, Michelin stars are awarded based on other things besides food - service, decor, themes, innovation, storytelling, and so on. Based on these criteria, your excellent neighbourhood BBQ joint probably won't qualify. Although there have been some baffling Michelin stars awarded to some hawker stalls in Singapore and Hong Kong.

 

[CapMan]

There is a selection bias involved with Michelin star restaurants, so I would not read too much into it. Just because a country has NO Michelin stars (e.g. Australia) does not mean that we do not have restaurants that are deserving of such awards. A number of Australian restaurants have featured in the World's Top 50, for example. Those have no Michelin stars.

Also, Michelin stars are awarded based on other things besides food - service, decor, themes, innovation, storytelling, and so on. Based on these criteria, your excellent neighbourhood BBQ joint probably won't qualify. Although there have been some baffling Michelin stars awarded to some hawker stalls in Singapore and Hong Kong.

I was simply responding to a lazy comment that the quality of food in the UK was poor with some actual objective data. The UK has many excellent restaurants and very talented chefs.

I don’t doubt the excellent quality of a Texan BBQ (it looked fantastic) nor do I dispute the UK has some rank food (don’t most countries ?)

You do not get a Michelin star for serving bad food no matter how innovative, how great the decor or how much of a story you tell. It is awarded primarily for culinary excellence . The guide does not yet cover Australia which is why Australia has no
Michelin star restaurants - I’m sure they will find some excellent places to eat when they expand there . I disagree with you that Michelin Stars should be disregarded, because frankly it is the World’s most recognised and consistent rating system for high quality food.

From the Michelin Guide

“All inspectors are sent around the world to eat in the countries where we currently make MICHELIN Guides. This ensures that all inspectors judge by the same standards and have the same reference points – a Michelin Star must mean the same and have the same value, regardless of where in the world it is located.”

Also from the Michelin Guide :

“MICHELIN Stars are the highest accolade awarded by the inspectors to restaurants in the Guide. Stars identify restaurants that offer the best culinary experiences. Contrary to popular belief, they reward only the quality of the cooking itself.”

 

[Keith_W]

That's what they claim, but in actual practice the restaurants they have rated (in East Asia at least) are a bit dodgy. I don't think the Michelin inspectors know anything about Asian food, nor do they know where to go. This is how Hawker Chan got it's Michelin star. I have been to their restaurant in Singapore (and their branch in Melbourne). It is okay, but far from the best. A lot of Asians see food as their culture, and they will travel far and wide to seek out the best. For this rather middling restaurant to receive a Michelin star, it is beyond a joke. It makes me think that they just turned up, slapped a few Michelin stars here and there, and then left without really exploring who was deserving and who was not. Do they honestly think that out of the thousands of hawker stores scattered around hundreds of cities in East Asia selling the same thing, that they found the best one?

 

[CapMan]

That's what they claim, but in actual practice the restaurants they have rated (in East Asia at least) are a bit dodgy.

I can’t speak for the Far East, but my experience in Europe and the US is that I have always had great food at restaurants with Michelin Stars. Are there great places without stars - for sure. Is the guide perfect, of course not.

I can only assume that the person who posted that the UK is known for its poor cooking is trapped in the 1970s when this may well have been a fair comment, but it is absolutely no longer the case

I would say that eating out here has become eye-wateringly expensive of late and my wife and I go to restaurants much less often than we used to.

 

[CapMan]

Touché - poor things probably can't get tea where they live in the US

 

[amirm]

"Way better than Lipton Tea." Lipton tea in US should be outlawed. The UK version is consumable but what we have in US is just food dye or something. Worst thing in the world.

Now, what is Yorkshire Tea? Have not heard of it!

 

[CapMan]

Even Jean Luc Picard likes it (nb Patrick Stewart is from Yorkshire)

 

[CapMan]

Now, what is Yorkshire Tea? Have not heard of it!

Made by Taylor’s of Harrogate - coffee and tea producer in the UK. Also have a small chain of high end tea rooms in the north of England.

 

[computer-audiophile]

I would say that eating out here has become eye-wateringly expensive of late and my wife and I go to restaurants much less often than we used to.

That is the case here with us as well.

 

[Mart68]

That's just the gateway tea to this one for the hardened addict:



Don't see children drinking tea much anymore but in my day everyone drank it, even the baby in its pram would be given tea in one of those plastic mugs with handles either side and a lid with a spout.

 

[Digby]

Same lads from the first video, but now American high schoolers try British tea and biscuits. Shame they didn't have some Scottish shortbread and ginger biscuits.