I think you've mistaken about risk, I never said the rich have lower risk, I said they have access to certain opportunities that the poors don't.
Let me give you an example, a real estate project opportunity came my way, minimum investment is $1m/lot. The person who broached me, is trying to get an LLC for about a hand full of investors. You think someone with a net worth of $200k will be offer this?
Another example, when the market had a dip due to the start of the tariffs, that was a great time to just buy SPY, people who already have assets can leverage a margin loan and only pay the interest while the loan is open, well that is an opportunity. Sure enough market bounced right back few months later.
To your example of private equity, why are you thinking that the only exit strategy is IPO? That's just silly.
Of course all of these carry risks, and greater risk that just a long term S&P500. My point is this is only available to rich people.
Now if you take exception to fees, that's fine, one can do a lot of it themselves to save on the fees. But to say that rich people don't have access to opportunities and financial engineering that the poor don't have access to, that's just unreal.
The fees are what can make these so called "opportunities" suboptimal as an investment. Just because something is only offered to rich people does not automatically make it a better risk adjusted investment. I evaluate investments based on their risk adjusted return, the calculation is not as straightforward as Ohm's law but it does give you some perspective to compare.
Anyone can trade on margin and the rich have the same restrictions as the poor which is set by the SEC. Poor people just have to make smaller investments. Trading on margin is not always the best idea if you want to build long term wealth.
I never said IPO was the only way private equity cashed out, my point is for every huge winner there many more "muddle through" companies that are not home runs as well as failed companies. If you look at the overall returns of private equity less the costs of managing these investments and paying all the commissions to the sales guys and all the other fees it is not all "Alibaba and SpaceX". It is a high risk, high fee, low liquidity, long term investment which is suited for rich people that don't need liquidity and can live with extremely variable returns. It is also fun to brag to your friends when the fund does hit on a "home run". On a risk adjusted basis how it compares to the S&P is going to vary from and firm to firm and time period to time period but it is not going to be a huge difference that you need to worry about if you are trying to build wealth. With the current FOMO going on there are even ETF's that invest in private equity so even poor people can now participate, even if it is ill advised.
One thing to keep in mind that most people don't think about. If there really was an investment strategy that consistently outperformed the S&P 500 on a risk adjusted basis then all you would have to do is invest in that strategy and short the S&P 500 futures against it and you would have guaranteed risk free money streaming in for the rest of your life and the more you added to the strategy the richer you would become. Even the rich people have not been offered this opportunity because it isn't really possible.