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I'm not so much defending myself or trying to say being messy is superior. It is as you say what worked for me. My parents hounded me about messiness all my life. I always looked at piles and felt a sense of falling short. Yet I could always find the things I needed, never lost things when other people periodically do. When I've tried for periods to be organized it would actually make things worse for me. As I aged I did have to adapt.My gut feeling is that both sides of this are people either looking to confirm the superiority of their own habits of defend themselves from others who attack them.
I'm pretty sure the only thing that matters is what works for you personally.
My father is exactly the opposite. Everything in its place and a place for everything. He can find and keep up with and never lose things too. His garage is one of those where every tool is in its own place and unless in his hand will be found no where else. I just am not that way. He will see my garage/shop area and with disgust tell me I can't know where half of my tools are. He has a saying, "If you cannot find a tool when you need it, it is the same as not having it". A few times I've had him ask for something to see if I could find it. I always could. That just disgusts him more as in his mind that shouldn't be so.