This occurs when a tool (a sound system, for example) becomes an end in itself. Once you have the right equipment, the logical thing would be to focus on listening to music, attending concerts, etc. We should not pay more attention to our sound systems than we do to a screwdriver or a wrench.
I’m always amazed how often this false dichotomy shows up in audiophile discussions.
This idea that we’re dealing with a zero sum scenario - you can either love the music or love gear - is just so obviously false. It’s not a zero sum game - you can love more than one thing. You can love music and you can also be really enthusiastic about audio gear. That’s pretty much what brings most people to a site like this in the first place.
If you find audio gear fascinating and rewarding, there’s nothing wrong at all with enjoying and acknowledging that. I absolutely love my system. I find the gear to be beautiful and interesting. It rewards my attention. I’ve fiddled with it, added to it and subtracted from it over the years, which has been tons of fun, and nothing has stopped me from absolutely loving listening to music through the system.
Lots of people (and let’s face it, especially in this hobby it tends to be a guy thing) like technology and gear. They like thinking about it reading about it tinkering with it.
Some people are so interested to get into DIY. Other people become so interested they even start their own companies designing audio gear. And thank goodness for that!
By all means you can take your approach - simply set up a system and forget about it afterwards. But there’s no reason to tell others who feel differently to do the very same, or suggest they have lost their way.
Otherwise, on the logic you are advising, our very website founder Amir should be the most pitiable audiophile here. I mean, look at the tremendous amount of time Amir has spent devoting himself to investigating, working with, measuring, testing, and writing about countless pieces of audio gear. The poor guy is doing that “ instead of just setting up a system, forgetting about it and focussing on the music.”
But of course most of us recognize that there’s nothing wrong at all with Amir or anyone else here being fascinated by and passionate about audio gear…. and it doesn’t automatically mean not being able to enjoy the music.