My brother was thrown out the house when around 20 years old because he was a pain in the butt (I of course was goody two shoes!).
We were brought up the same - taught to save for things like bicycles etc.. I learnt those lessons; he didn't. All his life he could never manage money. Indeed on the day our mother died he was due to visit her to borrow money. He was the more intelligent of the two of us based on school performances.
I've never understood why we were so different. I can only think it was because of different friends at school and after.
We did have one thing in common though - we both loved music. We had piano lessons but he had some talent - I didn't. He played a bit and listened too. I just listened. So here I am!
It is amazing to me how different children raised in the same household can be in their values and ethics. I think how people turn out is a combination of how they are wired and environment. You see it all the time, people who have every opportunity, are not enabled, and fail, and those who despite having the deck stacked against them at every step of the way still succeed. (Note my definition of fail and succeed is if the person is a productive contributing member of society, whether a janitor or founder of a large company employing thousands).
I realized as a parent years ago, the best I can do is to help my child become the best person he can be, even if that doesn't meet my vision of what is best. I have one child and he has had his struggles, but appears to be through the worst of them. It has been challenging, but nothing compared to that of a colleague who has two children in their 20s, one successful and one who for years, despite my colleague doing everything in his power to help, he fears will he will get a call any day that he is dead.
