Never said a soundbar couldn't sound good. With quality drivers, amplification, and well designed digital manipulation some amazing wizardry is possible. But consider the big picture of multich playback, both music and movie based. The engineer at the board was placing objects in a soundfield not only L & R, but front to rear creating a 360 soundfield of a specific nature that was the engineers intend. Without speakers placed in the full 5.1 channel positions no amount of digital wizardry is going to reproduce the 360 image with a small spread of speakers front and center. I won't even bother to discuss the immersive effects possible with overhead speakers and Atmos or DTS-X coding.
Simulating the 360 imaging of a good 5.1 or better rig with a single small box up front can't be done. It's like trying to make a single mono speaker create a full stereo image just by adding some digital tricks.. Soundbars are a major compromise of the intended multich reproduction designed for the lifestyles, not a quality surround sound replacement.
Tell Dr Floyd Toole he can dump his system for a $299 soundbar. LOL