I read in german wikipedia about distance hearing, this fit to my testing results and experience. The reverb delay and level and reverb to direct level is the most important thing. I translate the german to english
de.wikipedia.org
Direct sound component: The sound pressure level of direct sound decreases linearly with distance, while that of diffuse sound remains almost constant in a reflective environment, so that this ratio changes significantly with the distance from the sound source. This is why, together with visual perception, it is one of the most important characteristics of distance hearing.
Initial time gap: In the case of distant sound sources, the first strong reflections hardly have a longer path to the listener than the direct wave. They therefore reach the listener almost simultaneously, whereas with a nearby sound source there is a clear initial time gap due to the different detours. Their great importance for the spatial staggering of the sound field is often neglected in sound productions.
Translated with DeepL.com (free version)
I did not find anything about that in english because i did not know how the english word is. translate in google "Entfernungshören" to english to distance hearing did not find something science text about that.
so the good news for out of head hearing as with speakers, there need no customize hrtf. My guess is hrtf is mabye important to detect audio from behind location. because when i change in realphones the hrtf settings or in some locations, i hear that it seem the sound come from back
I have upload a example find on youtube that is record with a stereo camera and some instruments are play . it sound not in head . important is stereo. because when switch to mono it sound in head. and left and right channel should be same loud. so if it sound strange try correct balance so it sound good. analg stereo pots have high wear and tear and differ left and right
so there need room or cathedral impulses for reverb that are able to make studio records sound real and good out of head . then mixing engineers can use this impules and create great songs that sound on headphones and speakers great. I have in the past develop reverb algorithm with delay allpass, feedback 90 delay lines until it sound as a nice reverb. such working many do, but such reverbs did not contain usefull information the brain need to bring the sound out of head and a good depth of field.
The guys that create reverb impulses do also a simular way. they use more than 2 microphones, place it so that it sound nice. then happen same problem a nice reverb sound without usefull information for brain to create depth of field. realphones can with a correct reverb then create the additional information that brain need to create depth on headphones. video it is with realphones for headphones do. can other hear that sound come not out of head too in this video ?
EDIT: I notice now out of head sound work with mono audio input track too, only realphones need output stereo signal