Interpersonal technical stuff and stubborn people that take the expert position but are not experts. This is like a Ann Flanders post!

[Brian Hall]

If I stitch all the details together I guess he has not been very successful in jobs, family, relationships and friendships.

Not surprising based on what you have said.

 

[Doodski]

Medicating bipolar is a pretty rough business. Lithium is an effective antimanic but it screws with the kidneys something fierce. Nothing else is approved in the USA for bipolar. Lots of drugs are available if you have a doc ready to play pharma roulette with you (tip: the house always wins). Some do ok with valproic acid and find it helps but weight gain is a common side effect. Lots of shrinks will push patients to antipsychotics because they do indeed smooth people out and them more "manageable" and convenient for everyone else. But antipsychotics suck rhinocerous dick and I wouldn't wish them on any but my worst enemies. Antidepressants are dangerous in bipolar and competent docs require robust control of the mania before trying them.

Otoh, a cranky 64 year old man with some annoying behaviors is not necessarily pathological. It's basically a choice as to how you want to think about and handle it.

A lot of people here have counciled @Doodski to bow out. That's an option of course but, if it were in @Doodski 's boots, I might be interested to see what can be done.

After reading about confidence dumping and info dumping it makes more sense now. I have a girlfriend who takes lithium and she won't be caught without it now. Results vary I suppose and individual use cases too. Perhaps the toxic cynicism is just a character fault or another tool of adaptation.

 

[Sal1950]

Medicating bipolar is a pretty rough business.

Better Living Thru Chemistry was the saying I grew up on.
Thanks DuPont for showing me the way. LOL

 

[Multicore]

After reading about confidence dumping and info dumping it makes more sense now. ... Perhaps the toxic cynicism is just a character fault or another tool of adaptation.

Maybe both: a characteristic that developed out of adaptation. It can be interesting to theorize (I love to theorize) but in the end you'll still be left making a judgement call: is it tolerable and worth it?

Years ago my wife made friends with someone for reasons of this, that and the other. __ was older and chronically lonely. As the years passed __'s efforts to be companionable diminished. __ moved back to Europe for a while and then came back again saying how the people where __ was were terrible. It became even more insufferable: self important, always right, critical, little interest in real conversation, self pitying. Eventually I wouldn't put up with it any more. My wife did and after every lengthy, mostly one-sided phone conversation she'd feel stunned and I'd be angry that she rewarded that behavior by hearing __ out every time. Eventually __ said something so offensive that she didn't answer any more calls.

In other news, my pal's dad got taken off the ventilator today.

 

[Doodski]

Maybe both: a characteristic that developed out of adaptation. It can be interesting to theorize (I love to theorize) but in the end you'll still be left making a judgement call: is it tolerable and worth it?

Years ago my wife made friends with someone for reasons of this, that and the other. __ was older and chronically lonely. As the years passed __'s efforts to be companionable diminished. __ moved back to Europe for a while and then came back again saying how the people where __ was were terrible. It became even more insufferable: self important, always right, critical, little interest in real conversation, self pitying. Eventually I wouldn't put up with it any more. My wife did and after every lengthy, mostly one-sided phone conversation she'd feel stunned and I'd be angry that she rewarded that behavior by hearing __ out every time. Eventually __ said something so offensive that she didn't answer any more calls.

In other news, my pal's dad got taken off the ventilator today.

What does taken off the ventilator mean?

 

[NTK]

What does taken off the ventilator mean?

Probably means the patient can breathe on his own?

 

[Blumlein 88]

Probably means the patient can breathe on his own?

Hopefully it means someone can breath on their own.

However, with terminal patients, it can mean a decision was made to take them off the ventilator and let things proceed to a natural conclusion.

 

[Verig]

Get off the subject of audio immediately and onto the subject of how animated one-side incessant conversation among friends is not not cool.

I agree. Only direct measures work.

As soon as he plays the bipolar card mention that you encourage him to some professional help or he may loose friends and suffer bouts of depression. I and others had similar problem with an otherwise ambitious and talented coworker that clearly needed help and it is important to sense when they are approachable, there are chemical things inside them going on that will not allow them to shut it off. The pendulum swings both ways so when they wind down or apologize for a bad incident, then is the time to help.

It's tricky to catch the moment when it's level for a while. May be quite fleeting and what we perceive as calm may already be depression. That makes it easier to talk but it does not help at all. One must not mix their own perception with what really is happening.
Approachable, in the sense it would make any difference, is very unlikely and takes a long time. Usually drugs are needed for a longer period of calm.

I'm not a doctor. I just have (years) of experience with two bipolars. I hope his "slightly bipolar" means he's not really diagnosed. There are conditions closely resembling bipolar traits but these can be dealt with. True bipolar can't.

 

[Multicore]

Probably means the patient can breathe on his own?

Sorta. My best guess after talking to my pal is that after his dad's fall there was a brain bleed and at the hospital after confirming that the brain wasn't working any more (i.e. he'd dead, maybe, iiuc) they removed the ventilator and he continued breathing on his own, for now. So it's like unconscious with no chance of waking up kinda thing. Or in another way of thinking about it, brain dead but with the breathing still working. Weird af. My pal said one of his clan said "He looks comfortable," to which my pal retorted "How can a dead person be comfortable?", to the report of this conversation I said "But he can still look it to someone else."

Life is for the living. I'll check in with my pal again soon.

 

[Verig]

After reading about confidence dumping and info dumping it makes more sense now. I have a girlfriend who takes lithium and she won't be caught without it now. Results vary I suppose and individual use cases too. Perhaps the toxic cynicism is just a character fault or another tool of adaptation.

I seem to have skipped an important page in this thread. Reading a bit more I find it likely that bipolar is not an accurate diagnosis.

For example I was something resembling a bipolar from let's say roughly 15 to 35. Info dumping, self harm, some mania, more depression, vivid violent thoughts, odd relationships, and of course one thing that is not so much noted on young men, promiscuous. Around 30 things started to mellow and at 35 it was pretty much ok sailing.
Yeah, I can still be weird af but nothing that would be more worrysome than the general population. This is "just" a personality disorder.
Compared to bipolar this is a walk in a park. Even though much is shared the scale and intensity is an order of magnitude lower.

Toxic cynicism I think is just something that came along for your friend. That's pretty normal.
People who live partly in their own world can't be arsed so much. And often this would manifest some really macabre sides in manic and depressed forms, not remain stable - personality disorders and bipolar really live by the wire and things that were true a moment ago don't apply soon, so a stable trait of some cynicism does not quite fit.

Take this as a friendly anecdote. There may be something there for you or not. Very hard to say.

 

[Multicore]

For example I was something resembling a bipolar from let's say roughly 15 to 35.

A lot of people are something resembling a DSM diagnosis. I'd say that book is one of the most magnificent power grabs I can think of. All they had to do was write and publish it and then, by some astonishing magic I really haven't been able to fully understand, a goodly part of normal human experience was ipso facto pathological and therefore under the professional purview of the shrinks whose club published it. It's so successful that it changed language: ordinary people commonly talk in its terms instead of our own.

Toxic cynicism I think is just something that came along for your friend. That's pretty normal.

Cynicism in the extreme can be hard to endure so we do well to guard against becoming so ourselves. I agree it's not very surprising if someone doesn't manage that. Otoh, I'm confident we have some Diogenes of Sinope fans here at ASR.

 

[Sal1950]

Or in another way of thinking about it, brain dead but with the breathing still working

If that's the way he's going to stay, I pray he will pass.
God knows I wouldn't want to live that way.

 

[Verig]

A lot of people are something resembling a DSM diagnosis. I'd say that book is one of the most magnificent power grabs I can think of. All they had to do was write and publish it and then, by some astonishing magic I really haven't been able to fully understand, a goodly part of normal human experience was ipso facto pathological and therefore under the professional purview of the shrinks whose club published it. It's so successful that it changed language: ordinary people commonly talk in its terms instead of our own.

At least 90's and early 00's was still really interesting drug roulette and no one seemed to know much. So there's a book that has many words and categories and doctors wearing their behinds over their ears.

I agree with the general feel of your posts. However, when really diving into the crystal nights and chasms of flesh and rot some order and scientific approach comes handy.

Edit: It's just not very nice to be a subject (or sometimes object it seems) of scientific approach of others, qualified or just barely passing the bar. Most people have some negative traits that match some description but that doesn't make everyone pathological, the number of issues matching a set and severity of course matters. At least nowadays around here it seems all much better.

 

[Multicore]

At least 90's and early 00's was still really interesting drug roulette and no one seemed to know much. So there's a book that has many words and categories and doctors wearing their behinds over their ears.

I agree with the general feel of your posts. However, when really diving into the crystal nights and chasms of flesh and rot some order and scientific approach comes handy.

Edit: It's just not very nice to be a subject (or sometimes object it seems) of scientific approach of others, qualified or just barely passing the bar. Most people have some negative traits that match some description but that doesn't make everyone pathological, the number of issues matching a set and severity of course matters.

There's a lot to discuss on these topics and to read and write. ASR needs a "What's your mental disorder, drugs and therapy?" thread. There used to be internet lists and forums and chats for that kind of conversation but Facebook sucked the life out of them.

At least nowadays around here it seems all much better.

I'm not sure what you mean. Is "around here" ASR, or where you live? Either way I'm very pleased it all seems much better there.

 

[Robbo99999]

I have a friend that is a ranting technophile that knows little to nothing about audio electronics, audio files and what sounds good and why and he constantly rants and raves about flac files and MP3 being inferior as he listens to 50 year old crappy recordings and claims flac is so much better and look at his topping DAC sampling rate display and how it is so great. He is so unapproachable about facts and figures and rants about facts and figures that he imagines are superior. I have relegated myself to doing the, "Uhu Uhu" thing in effort and hope that the subject will simply pass by. I am near my wits end on the stuff and am becoming very annoyed at his arrogance, rudeness and persistence while using ridiculous analogies to describe electronics and software stuff. I am a polite guy that does not like confrontation and every time I attempt to state facts and figures he gets aggressive and overbearing. How is this experience for you peeps and how do you handle this sort of interpersonal rubbish? I mean we do it everyday here @ ASR but when it is in person it's a whole different dynamic and more annoying. I actually left his pad today with the excuse that I need dinner because I needed to get away. >@^_^@<

I'd just show him a link to ASR and see if you can persuade him to read around the site!

 

[DEF]

If I were to put on my therapist hat I would ask you whether it’s really your friend that you are referring to or whether it’s the many people you run into here on ASR on a daily basis that are driving you bonkers…

Best of luck with that

It's ironic because "therapist" is really a word that may start to make you remember of bad things.

 

[rank]

The problem with mp3 is with live recordings, coming with a mandatory blank that skips between two tracks.
Otherwise, of course, if there is no argument in front of you, keep quiet.
Speak only about what you know thoroughly or have experienced and discussed with specialists.
Audio isn't a big issue, fortunately.

 

[Brian Hall]

I'd just show him a link to ASR and see if you can persuade him to read around the site!

His head might blow up from the reactions to his posts.

 

[Sal1950]

His head might blow up from the reactions to his posts.

LOL

 

[Robbo99999]

His head might blow up from the reactions to his posts.

Yeah, perhaps he should be pointed to this site but suggested he just reads & lurks for a few weeks until he's absorbed what's going on - might get his audio viewpoints changed just by reading.