Interpersonal technical stuff and stubborn people that take the expert position but are not experts. This is like a Ann Flanders post!

[Sal1950]

I am posting here in effort to see what other people think and do. I've been around a bipolar before that was hallucinating often but not a obsessive-compulsive cynic bipolar. I think the comments from other people here have helped me.

Seriously I don't think it necessary to apply some cryptic mental disorder to his actions.
In plain speak he's just bullheaded and nothing is going to be very effective in changing his mind.
All you can really do is walk away from the discussion-debate.

 

[digitalfrost]

After I was unable to clearly identify even the 128 kbit/s MP3 in a blind test with headphones, I thought for a long time that my poor hearing or inadequate equipment was the cause.

128kbps MP3 is usually transparent, even to trained listeners. See this listening test from 2005 https://listening-tests.hydrogenaud.io/sebastian/mf-128-1/results.htm

That said, you can learn to hear compression artifacts that trigger under certain circumstances ("killer samples"). It has nothing to do with the quality of your hearing, it's more like knowning what to listen for. But I advise against it, you ruin your enjoyment of music for nothing

 

[Sal1950]

That said, you can learn to hear compression artifacts that trigger under certain circumstances ("killer samples"). It has nothing to do with the quality of your hearing, it's more like knowning what to listen for. But I advise against it, you ruin your enjoyment of music for nothing

It's like the old adage, be careful what you wish for.
Much of the so called "golden ear" talent is knowing what to listen for rather than any "super hearing" quality.
It works not only for the gear but the recordings too. A few times I've read a review of album X that I really enjoyed
till the review pointed out some weakness or problem. Then once heard the problem can never be unheard and
the enjoyment of that recording was diminished forever.

 

[Soniclife]

The main issue I have is that he is becoming worse, not better and I don't see any end in sight as he escalates his cynical conversations and rants.

I've no idea what age he is, but is the early stages of alzheimer's a possibility for the decline?

You are clearly trying to be a good friend, he sounds like the sort of person I'd just walk away from. How long have you known them?

He says there are no drugs that would help, did he get a proper diagnosis, those aren't quick.

 

[Doodski]

I've no idea what age he is, but is the early stages of alzheimer's a possibility for the decline?

64 and his memory is sharp. Maybe too sharp. I endured a 45 minute mansplaining about 8 different kinds of hot peppers and Scoville heat scale ratings the other day. I simply said that I bought some hot peppers for my sausages and they where tasty and bang a long session about peppers that was as uninteresting as can be... LoL.

You are clearly trying to be a good friend, he sounds like the sort of person I'd just walk away from. How long have you known them?

About... I guess 4 months. Not sure anymore. He lives where I live in the same building.... and so I don't want any friction in the building.

He says there are no drugs that would help, did he get a proper diagnosis, those aren't quick.

He said he did see a doctor and it was confirmed he is bipolar. He's vague about this stuff but very precise about other stuff. My opinion is if he respects those around him he would take medication to smooth out his character, slow down and stop the ever present mansplaining, rants and toxic cynicism. I sure am learning stuff here. I've never had this issue before in my life.

 

[restorer-john]

It's like the old adage, be careful what you wish for.
Much of the so called "golden ear" talent is knowing what to listen for rather than any "super hearing" quality.
It works not only for the gear but the recordings too. A few times I've read a review of album X that I really enjoyed
till the review pointed out some weakness or problem. Then once heard the problem can never be unheard and
the enjoyment of that recording was diminished forever.

Very true Sal. You're getting older and wiser with every post.

 

[Soniclife]

He said he did see a doctor and it was confirmed he is bipolar. He's vague about this stuff but very precise about other stuff.

Are they open about other aspects of their life, they clearly like to talk about stuff, but themselves? The above doesn't really pass the smell test, there are lots of therapies for bipolar, not just drugs, but they aren't getting any treatment?

 

[Blumlein 88]

64 and his memory is sharp. Maybe too sharp. I endured a 45 minute mansplaining about 8 different kinds of hot peppers and Scoville heat scale ratings the other day. I simply said that I bought some hot peppers for my sausages and they where tasty and bang a long session about peppers that was as uninteresting as can be... LoL.

About... I guess 4 months. Not sure anymore. He lives where I live in the same building.... and so I don't want any friction in the building.

He said he did see a doctor and it was confirmed he is bipolar. He's vague about this stuff but very precise about other stuff. My opinion is if he respects those around him he would take medication to smooth out his character, slow down and stop the ever present mansplaining, rants and toxic cynicism. I sure am learning stuff here. I've never had this issue before in my life.

If you've only known him this long, probably best to cut it off and move on as gracefully as possible. Unless you feel some extra affinity for him etc. He sounds like bipolar people I've had to interact with. Probably doesn't like the meds because they seem to take the edge off his mind and thinking. And maybe you've not seen him on the other end of it in a real down cycle. You are exactly right, I mean exactly, that he should want to take the meds (and it is BS they don't have any for him) to smooth out his character for those around him. That he is at this age, and hasn't figured that out or has not been willing to do it for the benefits all things considered means he likely is not going to see the light so to speak. Maybe he cannot help himself either I'm not really blaming him. It is a tough thing to live with. I do know, no good will come of it for you, and it can become quite a concerning thing as well as these people have a way of dragging you into uncomfortable situations if you are around. So unless it is family or someone very important to you for a long time, just unwise. Life is too short. Just don't be around for it to be a problem. Sometimes looking out for #1 is the right choice to make.

 

[Doodski]

Are they open about other aspects of their life, they clearly like to talk about stuff, but themselves? The above doesn't really pass the smell test, there are lots of therapies for bipolar, not just drugs, but they aren't getting any treatment?

He said he was prescribed sleeping pills of which he quarters the dose for some reason. He talks in cynical rants about his life and former people he has known. Usually not very positive about that. If I stitch all the details together I guess he has not been very successful in jobs, family, relationships and friendships.

 

[Sal1950]

Very true Sal. You're getting older and wiser with every post.

John, It's Just like that ole adage once more, I've always been wise, maybe you're just now recognizing it.

 

[Pareto Pragmatic]

He says there are no drugs that would help, did he get a proper diagnosis, those aren't quick.

He said he did see a doctor and it was confirmed he is bipolar.

Lithium is common and works well for many (google says particularly good for controlling upswings). There are another 4-5 common meds, and a bunch of less common meds.

Not wanting to take meds is one thing, denying any exist that would help means there is no desire to change. That's my take, which is not really worth much not knowing more than is in this thread.

 

[Bob from Florida]

So, Doodski, let me be sure I have this straight. You have a friend that annoys you with his version of the audio nut topic. When confronted, he uses the "well, I am somewhat bipolar" excuse without offering his "Bipolar Diploma" issued by his Psychiatrist. This preys on your mind to the point you decide to present the problem to 500 or more assholes at ASR. For reference of a similar phenomenon, check out this link.

Well, since you opened a Pandoras Box of sorts by posting this on the forum, I am making the assumption you want to hear from all points of view - not just those supporting your own personal viewpoint.
Have you considered the possibility that your own anal retentive OCD audio point of view may be creating the "friction" in this case? I am asking this both in "jest and seriously". The answer of "who is at fault" is not really part of the solution. You can remain friends, no longer be friends, or limit contact to keep the "powder keg" from blowing up. Your friend may be feeling similar frustrations and may experience "relief" as well if just one of you would make a choice going forward.
By the way, this advice worth exactly what you paid - nothing.

 

[Doodski]

So, Doodski, let me be sure I have this straight. You have a friend that annoys you with his version of the audio nut topic. When confronted, he uses the "well, I am somewhat bipolar" excuse without offering his "Bipolar Diploma" issued by his Psychiatrist. This preys on your mind to the point you decide to present the problem to 500 or more assholes at ASR. For reference of a similar phenomenon, check out this link.

Well, since you opened a Pandoras Box of sorts by posting this on the forum, I am making the assumption you want to hear from all points of view - not just those supporting your own personal viewpoint.
Have you considered the possibility that your own anal retentive OCD audio point of view may be creating the "friction" in this case? I am asking this both in "jest and seriously". The answer of "who is at fault" is not really part of the solution. You can remain friends, no longer be friends, or limit contact to keep the "powder keg" from blowing up. Your friend may be feeling similar frustrations and may experience "relief" as well if just one of you would make a choice going forward.
By the way, this advice worth exactly what you paid - nothing.

The audio gear example was a example only and there are many things he obsesses about and I did not have time to write them all down. He is a major cynic and obsesses about ski gear, aircraft, cars and jets and whatever subject matter is at hand, he can talk/obsess/rant for ~13 hours straight and must be right about pretty much every subject that comes down the pipe. It is much broader and larger than the examples that I gave before. If I write them all down it would seem trivial at first but after the ~100th example one would get the flavor of what the issue is. I am a very relaxed guy.

 

[Roland68]

The audio gear example was a example only and there are many things he obsesses about and I did not have time to write them all down. He is a major cynic and obsesses about ski gear, aircraft, cars and jets and whatever subject matter is at hand, he can talk/obsess/rant for ~13 hours straight and must be right about pretty much every subject that comes down the pipe. It is much broader and larger than the examples that I gave before. If I write them all down it would seem trivial at first but after the ~100th example one would get the flavor of what the issue is. I am a very relaxed guy.

Maybe you should get one of these.
You say to him "sometimes I just need to get rid of my frustration with you", take it out and do the same thing as in the video until you feel better.
Reduce frustration

But I'm afraid that in the long run, only distance will help you.

 

[Doodski]

Maybe you should get one of these.
You say to him "sometimes I just need to get rid of my frustration with you", take it out and do the same thing as in the video until you feel better.
Reduce frustration

But I'm afraid that in the long run, only distance will help you.

That's funny... LoL.

 

[JP]

64 and his memory is sharp. Maybe too sharp. I endured a 45 minute mansplaining about 8 different kinds of hot peppers and Scoville heat scale ratings the other day. I simply said that I bought some hot peppers for my sausages and they where tasty and bang a long session about peppers that was as uninteresting as can be... LoL.

If you're sincere in your pursuit you should read about ADHD info dumping and confidence dumping. Per the "getting worse" comment, probably add masking, too.

 

[OldHvyMec]

I've known a few people who were bipolar/manic-depression. I never met one who would take their meds as directed and STAY on them.

I was a job steward for 12 long years and all of these guys and one woman were long-haul drivers and two were mechanics.

The reason I knew they were bipolar was because it came up at disciplinary hearings. As a steward, you're there to help and that
is when you learn they (like everyone else) have mental health challenges. The problem is as a steward you are there to represent
the worker and being a human being or having empathy is not a quality management wants to or has to even put up with.

That being said that little salt pill is meant to stabilize between the chatterbox (who is pretty fun to be around) and the guy that
turns a cloudy day into a rainstorm.

In those days, chatterboxes were told to get to work and when the depression set in, (misery enjoys company) and they were still talking
vs working. It was nothing like todays work force at all. People were standing in line for good union jobs and management knew it.

They would rather have a guy that had ok skills and would keep his/her mouth shut vs a person either stirring crap or pulling pranks
and laughing it up.

Those meeting could get pretty heated from a stewards perspective. Do you continue to stick up for the guy or do you tell him "you
do a lot better on meds than off."

I have a question. Is there EVER a time he acts normal since you've known him? If there is, point to that time and recommend (as an
acquaintance) how you enjoyed "that conversation" and don't care for the others. Now I'm being very short on explanation BUT don't
encourage unwanted behavior. I ALWAYS cut the conversation OFF about 3 seconds into the rant. Up to and including "I don't need a
lesson today (in whatever we're talking about). REMIND them it's a conversation, not a lecture. It's meant to get their attention and
it might result in a person walking off. BUT it will make YOU feel better for speaking up and being truthful.

Most people want to feel good about how others perceive them. On the other hand some just don't care at all.

If a person is willing to engage in conversation that is mutually beneficial vs a guy who turns every cloud into a storm or a lecture, YOU
get to make the choice. Do you really want to deal with that? It sounds like you've hit a crossroad.

I'll offer this, take care of Doodski. If you feel like avoiding the guy when you see him, then do just that and make it as plain as day.
If you're letting him push your buttons then maybe he's not the problem, you are! You can change that or you wouldn't have brought
up your concerns.

Be of good cheer and listen to that sound system. It fixes me up every single time. But I've NEVER met a person I didn't like something
about. If you don't get anything from this guy other than he know about peppers, leave it at that. Even ASR has a few pepper-longest
and we have a choice "the ignore button" You can always log out and read their stuff until you can't, and log back in. I do it all the time.

It's time to feed the chickens!

Best Regards

 

[Doodski]

If you're sincere in your pursuit you should read about ADHD info dumping and confidence dumping. Per the "getting worse" comment, probably add masking, too.

I'll be reading about those in 5 minutes after I get a coffee going. Thank you for the suggestions.

 

[Doodski]

I've known a few people who were bipolar/manic-depression. I never met one who would take their meds as directed and STAY on them.

I was a job steward for 12 long years and all of these guys and one woman were long-haul drivers and two were mechanics.

The reason I knew they were bipolar was because it came up at disciplinary hearings. As a steward, you're there to help and that
is when you learn they (like everyone else) have mental health challenges. The problem is as a steward you are there to represent
the worker and being a human being or having empathy is not a quality management wants to or has to even put up with.

That being said that little salt pill is meant to stabilize between the chatterbox (who is pretty fun to be around) and the guy that
turns a cloudy day into a rainstorm.

In those days, chatterboxes were told to get to work and when the depression set in, (misery enjoys company) and they were still talking
vs working. It was nothing like todays work force at all. People were standing in line for good union jobs and management knew it.

They would rather have a guy that had ok skills and would keep his/her mouth shut vs a person either stirring crap or pulling pranks
and laughing it up.

Those meeting could get pretty heated from a stewards perspective. Do you continue to stick up for the guy or do you tell him "you
do a lot better on meds than off."

I have a question. Is there EVER a time he acts normal since you've known him? If there is, point to that time and recommend (as an
acquaintance) how you enjoyed "that conversation" and don't care for the others. Now I'm being very short on explanation BUT don't
encourage unwanted behavior. I ALWAYS cut the conversation OFF about 3 seconds into the rant. Up to and including "I don't need a
lesson today (in whatever we're talking about). REMIND them it's a conversation, not a lecture. It's meant to get their attention and
it might result in a person walking off. BUT it will make YOU feel better for speaking up and being truthful.

Most people want to feel good about how others perceive them. On the other hand some just don't care at all.

If a person is willing to engage in conversation that is mutually beneficial vs a guy who turns every cloud into a storm or a lecture, YOU
get to make the choice. Do you really want to deal with that? It sounds like you've hit a crossroad.

I'll offer this, take care of Doodski. If you feel like avoiding the guy when you see him, then do just that and make it as plain as day.
If you're letting him push your buttons then maybe he's not the problem, you are! You can change that or you wouldn't have brought
up your concerns.

Be of good cheer and listen to that sound system. It fixes me up every single time. But I've NEVER met a person I didn't like something
about. If you don't get anything from this guy other than he know about peppers, leave it at that. Even ASR has a few pepper-longest
and we have a choice "the ignore button" You can always log out and read their stuff until you can't, and log back in. I do it all the time.

It's time to feed the chickens!

Best Regards

That's good advice for sure. Thanks

 

[Multicore]

He said he did see a doctor and it was confirmed he is bipolar. He's vague about this stuff but very precise about other stuff. My opinion is if he respects those around him he would take medication to smooth out his character, slow down and stop the ever present mansplaining, rants and toxic cynicism. I sure am learning stuff here. I've never had this issue before in my life.

Medicating bipolar is a pretty rough business. Lithium is an effective antimanic but it screws with the kidneys something fierce. Nothing else is approved in the USA for bipolar. Lots of drugs are available if you have a doc ready to play pharma roulette with you (tip: the house always wins). Some do ok with valproic acid and find it helps but weight gain is a common side effect. Lots of shrinks will push patients to antipsychotics because they do indeed smooth people out and them more "manageable" and convenient for everyone else. But antipsychotics suck rhinocerous dick and I wouldn't wish them on any but my worst enemies. Antidepressants are dangerous in bipolar and competent docs require robust control of the mania before trying them.

Otoh, a cranky 64 year old man with some annoying behaviors is not necessarily pathological. It's basically a choice as to how you want to think about and handle it.

A lot of people here have counciled @Doodski to bow out. That's an option of course but, if it were in @Doodski 's boots, I might be interested to see what can be done.