Interpersonal technical stuff and stubborn people that take the expert position but are not experts. This is like a Ann Flanders post!

[Doodski]

I have a friend that is a ranting technophile that knows little to nothing about audio electronics, audio files and what sounds good and why and he constantly rants and raves about flac files and MP3 being inferior as he listens to 50 year old crappy recordings and claims flac is so much better and look at his topping DAC sampling rate display and how it is so great. He is so unapproachable about facts and figures and rants about facts and figures that he imagines are superior. I have relegated myself to doing the, "Uhu Uhu" thing in effort and hope that the subject will simply pass by. I am near my wits end on the stuff and am becoming very annoyed at his arrogance, rudeness and persistence while using ridiculous analogies to describe electronics and software stuff. I am a polite guy that does not like confrontation and every time I attempt to state facts and figures he gets aggressive and overbearing. How is this experience for you peeps and how do you handle this sort of interpersonal rubbish? I mean we do it everyday here @ ASR but when it is in person it's a whole different dynamic and more annoying. I actually left his pad today with the excuse that I need dinner because I needed to get away. >@^_^@<

 

[kyuu]

I mainly deal with this with coworkers' unwanted political talk that somehow always has to take place near my desk, even when one or both of the parties involved have their own damn office. I've found that engaging rarely helps, as that just prolongs the misery. I've taken to noise cancelling headphones and music to drown it out.

FLAC is great, though, particularly nowadays where storage space is rather plentiful. In practice there's little or no audible difference between it and 320kbps MP3 though, which is still what I'd use for a mobile device with more limited storage, or for streaming over a cellular connection.

 

[effj]

“Let’s talk about something else,” I guess. I think that’s the conventional wisdom for navigating conversations with know-it-alls, assuming they’re not that way with every topic.

 

[BillH]

If I were to put on my therapist hat I would ask you whether it’s really your friend that you are referring to or whether it’s the many people you run into here on ASR on a daily basis that are driving you bonkers…

Best of luck with that

 

[Roland68]

I have a friend that is a ranting technophile that knows little to nothing about audio electronics, audio files and what sounds good and why and he constantly rants and raves about flac files and MP3 being inferior as he listens to 50 year old crappy recordings and claims flac is so much better and look at his topping DAC sampling rate display and how it is so great. He is so unapproachable about facts and figures and rants about facts and figures that he imagines are superior. I have relegated myself to doing the, "Uhu Uhu" thing in effort and hope that the subject will simply pass by. I am near my wits end on the stuff and am becoming very annoyed at his arrogance, rudeness and persistence while using ridiculous analogies to describe electronics and software stuff. I am a polite guy that does not like confrontation and every time I attempt to state facts and figures he gets aggressive and overbearing. How is this experience for you peeps and how do you handle this sort of interpersonal rubbish? I mean we do it everyday here @ ASR but when it is in person it's a whole different dynamic and more annoying. I actually left his pad today with the excuse that I need dinner because I needed to get away. >@^_^@<

There is a very simple solution to this, just like ending a marriage with one word.
You go up to him, put your arm around his shoulder, look him deep in the eyes and say "You know what I really appreciate about you, really? Nothing, absolutely nothing."
That might solve the problem, at least for a while, but I suspect that as a Canadian you are far too nice and friendly for this.

But honestly, I let people like that do their thing. Their ignorance is their own loss, not yours.
Let him go and run into the wall. If he eventually gets it and comes on his own, you can give it a try. Before that, you wear yourself out and waste your time and energy for nothing. I know that something like this is difficult, especially when you like someone and/or are friends with them.
And to be clear, you are the one who has to change, because you are suffering from the situation.
Be calm, simply ignore him on certain topics and clearly express your disinterest in them, and from time to time make friendly but firm comments that his misinformation and ignorance are only his loss and not yours. He must clearly notice that the whole thing is tiring for you and his attitude to it is uninteresting to you.

Alternatively, you can put him in a boot camp, is there already a HiFi boot camp? They would have a lot to do.

And what is the "Uhu Uhu" thing? Do I want to know?

 

[Jim Taylor]

Unfortunately, showing tolerance and patience can make you an enabler ... then things either continue or get worse. As uncomfortable as it may be, the only way to get peace of mind is to face the issue directly. That doesn't mean yelling, remonstrating or getting physical. It means being firm, telling them the truth of how you feel, and if they don't like it asking them why they don't like it.

Many times, the issue is not the subject at hand ... that is often secondary. The real issue is their ability to commandeer your time and force you to pay attention to them.

Good luck, Dood!

Jim

 

[Mikig]

happened, happened…first warning, made them lower their tone. Second warning: stop!! bye!! I can't stand rudeness or arrogance…I'll leave that to others!!

 

[Doodski]

Thanks for the replies. I have stated in plain English that I am not interested in the topic(s) anymore that he rants about and then always claims the high ground about. I believe the guy is mentally ill in some way. I've decided to reduce the amount of talk time that enables him to be this way. Initially I thought that maybe he was alone for too long and was extra gabby as a result but as things improved a little in some ways they have degenerated in other ways. This afternoon I used the dinnertime excuse to get away from his constant talking.

Uhuh Uhuh... is a imitation of me doing the conversational nod and saying "Uhuh."

There are some people here at ASR that come and go that are this way but I am able to filter them out and they don't bother me like a in-person thing does.

I am now thinking this guy simply likes to hear himself talk and is oblivious to those he is talking to/at.

 

[sam_adams]

I have a friend that is a ranting technophile that knows little to nothing . . .

People like this fit perfectly into Dietrich Bonhoeffer's Theory of Stupidity.

 

[napfkuchen]

After I was unable to clearly identify even the 128 kbit/s MP3 in a blind test with headphones, I thought for a long time that my poor hearing or inadequate equipment was the cause. Thanks to ASR, I now know that the threshold for sufficiently good (aka transparent) music playback (in terms of hardware/software and source formats) is much lower than the industry, test magazines and especially influencers on YouTube would have us believe. This industry and many hi-fi enthusiasts keep users (=themselves) in an endless cycle of dissatisfaction by always touting the next big thing.
As soon as you are no longer susceptible to this psychological tactic, you become satisfied with the equipment that is available. I now know that no matter how much I invest in even the smallest details from this point on, the (Pareto) optimum in terms of hi-fi has been achieved in my rooms. Cheap in-ear headphones on my cell phone are sufficient, as is Spotify music playback.
But changing the cables, considering a DAC with a tube preamp or similar mumbo jumbo? I will not consider it again...

 

[voodooless]

Just give him the polite tip to sign up to ASR

 

[Multicore]

How is this experience for you peeps and how do you handle this sort of interpersonal rubbish?

Change the subject. Literally. Talk about music, a topic of endless discussions, or something else he's interested by.

I find this is usually possible with relative strangers but he's already a friend so that's to the advantage.

Unless his ignorant technophilia is something he insists on talking about. If so, is that only with you?

 

[Multicore]

After I was unable to clearly identify even the 128 kbit/s MP3 in a blind tes....

As I read your reply I got to wondering if Doodski's friend isn't generally boorish but is a determined audiophool who insists specifically on such conversations because he knows @Doodski is a pragmatist, i.e. on the other side.

 

[KSTR]

How is this experience for you peeps and how do you handle this sort of interpersonal rubbish?

I tend to immediately go into "full ignore" or "let's agree to disagree" mode but it depends on the topic, of course. In your case, somebody is just freaking out about technical stuff which is pretty harmless in the end. It really gets rough and unbearable when the topics are conspiracies/politics and religion and when that person not only tries to engage in talks but also sends you mails and text messages all the time. I once had to make the boss issue a very clear warning letter, threatening sanctions or even dismissal if the stalking wouldn't stop.

 

[Doodski]

Just give him the polite tip to sign up to ASR

I did... He was not interested but then he carried on for 2 hours about tech talk. LoL...

 

[Doodski]

Change the subject. Literally. Talk about music, a topic of endless discussions, or something else he's interested by.

I find this is usually possible with relative strangers but he's already a friend so that's to the advantage.

Unless his ignorant technophilia is something he insists on talking about. If so, is that only with you?

He talks a lot with everybody and can be triggered to talk about aircraft or flac files by anything at any time. Anything at any time...

 

[Doodski]

As I read your reply I got to wondering if Doodski's friend isn't generally boorish but is a determined audiophool who insists specifically on such conversations because he knows @Doodski is a pragmatist, i.e. on the other side.

I have wondered this too if this is his way of entertainment. But he has JBL 305 II and a DAC so he's cognizant of the gear.

 

[Doodski]

Alright. I had words and he said he is slightly bipolar. He still ran roughshod over me in that discussion but he admitted it. Now I must figure out how to handle a bipolar talking machine.

 

[DoctorRobert]

I, not so long ago, ran into some people that sincerely believed that, if you truly tried, you can live on daylight. Now I know that some people were starved to death while living this belief. I therefore told them as politely as I could, but also as clearly as could manage that this idea kills people and therefore should not be spread.

Death from MQA or playing records is pretty rare. So I ignore audio nonsense, if they are not used to sell me something.

 

[Multicore]

He talks a lot with everybody and can be triggered to talk about aircraft or flac files by anything at any time. Anything at any time...

/me scratches beard....

I have wondered this too if this is his way of entertainment. But he has JBL 305 II and a DAC so he's cognizant of the gear.

Hmmm...

Alright. I had words and he said he is slightly bipolar. He still ran roughshod over me in that discussion but he admitted it. Now I must figure out how to handle a bipolar talking machine.

/me sitting up...

Weeeeelll, speaking as a ____ and an unlicensed ____ist, like in your BDSM play: safewords.

He admits he goes too far, is able to recognize it post facto, and knows you don't like it. Let's assume he prefers not to lose a friend over such incidents. So a goal might be to try to recognize it some time before post facto. Learning new skills involves practice. Negotiate language (doesn't need to be verbal) by which you let him know and, with luck and practice, it can puncture the temporary cognitive bubble of the specific arguments he's insisting on and bring things back to you, or some awareness of you, and the value of not being alone.