Looks like I have figured out a way to match the wall absorption coefficients between REW (and pyroomacoustics) and Mathematica FEM. However, I did have to apply a kludge to get the numbers right.
The way I originally applied the absorption coefficient was completely wrong. The "correct" method is what
@edechamps showed in post #39. Here is a clip from his first reference:
α is the absorption coefficient, i.e. the fraction of the energy absorbed by the wall during a reflection. Z_o is the acoustic impedance of the wall. |R| is the magnitude of the complex reflection coefficient. When the wall is totally absorbing, Z_o is equal to (i.e. matches) the acoustic impedance of air, which is ρ * c, and we have |R| = 0. When the wall is totally reflecting, Z_o is infinite, and |R| = 1.
When I used Z_o calculated using equations 5 & 6, the results did not match those from REW well, with too much absorption. However, if I take the |R| as calculated by equation 5, and then take its square root again, the results match those from REW and PRA very well. No idea why. Here are the results with the absorption coefficients from 0.1 to 0.5




It is expected that there will be some differences between the results from FEM and ISM. These 2 methods treat wall absorption differently. ISM does not consider frequency and the direction/angle of the sound waves hitting the walls. For FEM the absorption is a strong function of the incidence angle of the acoustic wave hitting the wall. Both are highly simplistic approximations of actual wall reflections.
A more realistic, but much more complicated way, of modeling the wall using FEM is to include the acoustics-structure interactions in the analysis. We'll need to model the wall deflections due to the pressure loading from the acoustic waves, compute the wall movements, the amount of energy the acoustic waves transferred (or loss) to the wall, and the acoustic waves the wall re-radiates back into the room. We'll need to have very detailed knowledge of the structural construction and properties of the construction materials. It is well beyond the capabilities of amateur enthusiasts.
The Wolfram language Jupyter notebook is in the ZIP file. I'll correct the opening post in the next few days.