I'm in a similar boat. Just went through a bunch, including very high end, and here's my thoughts:
- QC Ultra - probably most comfortable overall, I expect they'd fit most large heads, though OP didn't love them I guess
- Focal Bathys - somewhat tight, and don't fit my ears perfectly, but pretty good
- Sonos Ace - tight but not terrible, poor sound
- Momentum 4 - too tight and small earcups
- Cambridge P100 - too tight and small earcups
- ML 5909 - a bit tight, but pretty comfortable
- Dali IO 12 - huge ear cups, great initial comfort, but a bit tight around the head, very heavy
- Noble Fokus Apollo - a bit too small earcups, very big and bulky
The main contenders I didn't try were Sonys (which I've heard are generally small and tight) and Airpod Max's (which I don't think you can EQ at all, so I didn't really consider).
Ultimately, I almost kept the QC Ultras, but decided to the Bathys. The Ultras were the most comfortable for me, but I became enamored by the sound of the Bathys and decided to make the slight compromise in comfort. I use them now constantly, and I'm happy with the choice.
The other closest to working for me were the 5909s, but I sent them back because I found the inability to tame a nasty treble peak to bug me a lot, and they had too high a noise floor (can hear noise when no music or even quiet music). For me, a shame.
Hope this helps!