Also, calibration levels also have no relationship to the playback level for that same reason.
I fully got that but, in order to paint an entertaining picture: a friend of mine was very "moviephile" at some point. This meant for him that everything had to be as close to "perfect, authentic, and intended" as possible. Lowering the volume away from reference or using "bass or treble" would almost be an insult to the creator of the movie.
In my head, I see him sit with a -20=75 mix and believing that it is supposed to be played "as intended" at -0 dB, suffering through 10 dB too high volume levels on a calibrated system - with a forced smile on his face, trying to enjoy it.
If you look at the advertisement for the iMax sound with Disney plus, one major thing they talk about is: reference volume. Which, you (and others in this thread) taught me, is basically nonsense (or hand-wavy) because it cannot be known precisely. It is kind of funny that they advertise this particular aspect.
In my head, I always imagined that the last test is done at -20=85 in several real cinemas of differing sizes to check that all is "as intended". (Especially, when it comes to iMax, that I assumed to have building standards worldwide.) Then fine tweaking would be done in this environment. I was surprised this does not seem to always happen.
In the article about loudness, which was referenced above, it clearly shows that soundmixers have slightly different preferences, when it comes to mixing. Not all of them go to a cinema to hear the result. Fortunately, those that do, claim it mostly sounds as they intended in cinema and the levels that mixers use do not seem too far apart. People working on movies for cinema seem to stick to 79 to 85, as you also said, which gives us a good ballpark number. I hope that this will not change because, if someone mixes at 75 and makes it so loud that they can barely stand it, a cinema might play it too loud because they might never know that it was not intended for Dolby 7(85)...
IMax has this Godzilla trailer countdown that is just so extremely loud, I wonder if it was created that way...
I very much agree with your arguments!
I don't feel bad using the volume control during playback. Nevertheless, all loudness compensation functions, which we have in the receivers are based on a "reference" and this does frustrate me a bit. In the current situation, loudness compensation is always off, which is a bit of a shame. I do enjoy a nice rumbling sound but I hate it when people scream too much. Volume control alone does not help me with this and some loudness compensation would.