For those of you that are around 50 YO and over - do you think about death?

[amper42]

Well, not really afraid of death. Faced it many times in stupid stunts and unfortunately war. Had a great and full life, bucket list empty except I want many grandchildren from my 3 kids (OK, perhaps Trinnov 32 on the side as well).

But this whole ageing thing is really difficult for me. After 40 years of working really hard, I will need to reinvent myself in the retirement that is not imminent but definitively coming up. That will entail loss of economic power and recognition/appreciation that I get at work. Both suck and the prospect of living on a budget and loosing the appreciation that was kind of back-bone of my personality for most of the life is what actually scares me.

And yes, share the same concern as @Sal1950, so we might be joining the same website .

Retirement is easier than they make it out to be.
You have all the time in the world after Honey Do's.
You may actually see your assets grow in retirement. It's not unusual.
Sign up for Medicare and buy a supplement. No out of pocket for healthcare keeps you healthy, wealthy and wise.

Loss of economic power and recognition/appreciation is a myth.
It's all in your head. Most of us are happier than ever.

There is something about waking up each day and having control over what you do at any moment that's refreshing.
Spread the love and it comes back to you 10x.
Whether it's volunteering, taking care of the kids, doing the unexpected nice thing for someone - it all works and you now have time.

Congrats!

 

[BeeKay]

Nope - why should I? Not religious, but I already know for sure what’s coming
I mean we all have been there.
The aeons before our births.
Was it hard, did we suffer?

Life is for the living. So live! Here and now.
If everyone tries not to be a selfish ***hole there is hardly anything more to do.

 

[Timcognito]

 

[tengiz]

Getting older is automatic; sprinkling in a bit of immaturity is elective - and highly recommended.

I was 48 when my wife gave birth to our beautiful twins, and suddenly I got to experience childhood all over again times two.

Seeing the world through their eyes reminded me how much joy there is in being silly, curious, and just a little ridiculous.

Grown-up life runs smoother when you let your inner kid take the wheel every now and then.

 

[Oddball]

Retirement is easier than they make it out to be.
You have all the time in the world after Honey Do's.
You may actually see your assets grow in retirement. It's not unusual.
Sign up for Medicare and buy a supplement. No out of pocket for healthcare keeps you healthy, wealthy and wise.

Loss of economic power and recognition/appreciation is a myth.
It's all in your head. Most of us are happier than ever.

There is something about waking up each day and having control over what you do at any moment that's refreshing.
Spread the love and it comes back to you 10x.
Whether it's volunteering, taking care of the kids, doing the unexpected nice thing for someone - it all works and you now have time.

Congrats!

Well, not retiring now. Still enslaved to the big corporate world , and unfortunately loving it as it was my life.

I get the point, and thanks for sharing. I am just sharing my fears which are not that unusual - at least I would think. Change is difficult and some of us might be less capable of dealing with it.

Accepting your older self is part of life, but I would really love to be able to jump again into my 15 year old self , which is is obviously not happening.

As they say, blue or red pill .

 

[amper42]

Well, not retiring now. Still enslaved to the big corporate world , and unfortunately loving it as it was my life.

I get the point, and thanks for sharing. I am just sharing my fears which are not that unusual - at least I would think. Change is difficult and some of us might be less capable of dealing with it.

Accepting your older self is part of life, but I would really love to be able to jump again into my 15 year old self , which is is obviously not happening.

As they say, blue or red pill .

Set aside some time to exercise each day as a routine. It makes a difference. Those that do, tend to last longer. Not sure which pill that is but those that stay sedentary disappear. It's not going to make you 15 but you don't want to feel 80 either.

I also find having a partner can make a big difference. Keep her happy. She will keep you from eating too much and sitting too long. My friends who unfortunately lost their spouse early in retirement, simply didn't last as long.

 

[Kremmen]

I finished reading Mortality by Christopher Hitchens last night. A sober account of his journey through stage 4 cancer before he died. The book ends as follows, with a quote from a book:

"From Alan Lightman’s intricate 1993 novel Einstein’s Dreams; set in Berne in 1905:

With infinite life comes an infinite list of relatives. Grandparents never die, nor do great-grandparents, great-aunts … and so on, back through the generations, all alive and offering advice. Sons never escape from the shadows of their fathers. Nor do daughters of their mothers. No one ever comes into his own … Such is the cost of immortality. No person is whole. No person is free."

 

[Cogito]

Topics like this must be a real bummer for the atheists! Personally, I like the Panpsychism Hypothesis.

 

[Multicore]

Bummer?!? What's worse than the idea of this horror show not ending? More life after death!

 

[Multicore]

Getting older is automatic; sprinkling in a bit of immaturity is elective - and highly recommended.

I was 48 when my wife gave birth to our beautiful twins, and suddenly I got to experience childhood all over again times two.

Seeing the world through their eyes reminded me how much joy there is in being silly, curious, and just a little ridiculous.

And being a parent allows you to enjoy those movies, TV shows, music, toys and activities that str8s deem childish.

 

[EJ3]

I like to challenge myself to write sonnets. Few years ago wrote this:

The sun’s gentle, warm caress on my face…
or the next day’s raindrops’ orchestration…
Every day deserves a celebration.
Yet sometimes I trap myself in a place,

I just wake up to a numb sensation.
And I waste that day, such a fall from grace…
unforgivable – lost in my own maze,
then slowly dawns the realization…

Every heartbeat, ticking seconds of time…
If we don’t celebrate them are wasted.
Rejoice in the flow of life sublime,

never miss a thing because you waited.
Close your eyes, and make every minute rhyme,
because every breath we take is sacred.

(c)2020 pablolie

Certainly my sentiment.
But I guess not my style of something I would write.
As I read it, I realized that it expressed my sentiment very well.

 

[RayDunzl]

Set aside some time to exercise each day as a routine. It makes a difference. Those that do, tend to last longer. Not sure which pill that is but those that stay sedentary disappear. It's not going to make you 15 but you don't want to feel 80 either.

We have some 80+ folks at the club flying gliders.

They may no longer pass the required physical exams for powered flight (other than Light Sport aircraft).

For Gliders, your Medical is to say "I'm good!" and go fly.

Put in 4 Hours Saturday and 3.5 on Sunday, myself, but I'm just a sprightly 72.

Karl H. Striedieck II (born April 7, 1937, so 88 now:

Facebook

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[EJ3]

Well, not really afraid of death. Faced it many times in stupid stunts and unfortunately war. Had a great and full life, bucket list empty except I want many grandchildren from my 3 kids (OK, perhaps Trinnov 32 on the side as well).

But this whole ageing thing is really difficult for me. After 40 years of working really hard, I will need to reinvent myself in the retirement that is not imminent but definitively coming up. That will entail loss of economic power and recognition/appreciation that I get at work. Both suck and the prospect of living on a budget and loosing the appreciation that was kind of back-bone of my personality for most of the life is what actually scares me.

And yes, share the same concern as @Sal1950, so we might be joining the same website .

I always thought that those "stupid stunts" were mostly "calculated risks" in which we usually calculated correctly.
Unfortunately war, here also. But my mother, father & wife have all had that, too.
Over retirement age & yet working was what I was doing when someone made a left turn in front of me, causing my car to hit theirs at 45 MPH. They were underinsured, so I got $80K toward my $255K of medical bills. Their insurance company did not even fight over it, it was so clear cut as to the fault.
But three fused cervical vertebrae later (2 & 1/2 years later), I can walk across the street to my mailbox again.
And have challenges beyond the fact that I was forced into retirement to overcome.
Now, I am in somewhat worse health but somewhat better looking (according to me), and my wife (whom I never saw a lot of after we were married because both of us traveled a lot for our jobs) has also retired (a year early) & is here helping me, our son's career is going good & I have a lot to look forward to.
Fortunately, our work allowed us to pay for everything that we have in full already (also meaning, that while we are debt free, that we have almost nothing in the bank).
So, from a physical point, I am not enjoying my self, but little gains seem to be trending. Financially is more challenging (because of our savings being used up), as we expected to now travel together but that has become both physically & financially challenging. But, we are managing to do it on a much smaller scale, so not ready to go yet, although, sometimes there are those moments...of doubt.
Then comes the "We are going to get over the obstacles, regardless, attitude."
And, while it takes longer and is more difficult than originally planned, we succeed at it, more often than not.

 

[Gary_G]

I didn't until this thread!

 

[EJ3]

We have some 80+ folks at the club flying gliders.

They may no longer pass the required physical exams for powered flight (other than Light Sport aircraft).

For Gliders, your Medical is to say "I'm good!" and go fly.

Put in 4 Hours Saturday and 3.5 on Sunday, myself, but I'm just a sprightly 72.

Karl H. Striedieck II (born April 7, 1937, so 88 now:

View attachment 464799

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A couple years ago there was a 73 year old Japanese guy that played soccer with all the younger guys in Guam (my then early 30's son was on that team). Than man could go toe to toe with the best of them.
We no longer live there but it would not surprise me at all if he was still playing (we left in 2018).

 

[pablolie]

Certainly my sentiment.
But I guess not my style of something I would write.
As I read it, I realized that it expressed my sentiment very well.

One thing I love about being now 61 is that I am far more relaxed about stuff. My urge to be competitive and give much attention to unrewarding crap (brag, consume mindlessly, etc) died in my 50s. My need to focus on what I truly enjoy (family, close friendships, never wasting time on non-fun stuff) grew to uncompromising levels in my 50s... at times very painfully (divorce and such) but hey.

My personal credo is we never learn much from success... it leads us to perpetuate the same little circus monkey trick until we don't land it... and then we learn... from failure. It's kind of funny that those of us that love pets long learned that the most effective way to teach is not through punishment, but through encouragement with treats. It's trickier for us humans, because as a rule we're not honest to each other in such situations, and you're a hero until suddenly someone pulls the entire effing carpet under your feet, finally... then it's learning mode on big time, and ... ouch. The "treats" for humans (money, promotion, sex, etc) can easily, totally misguide us into dead end streets.

And as someone who has had many very dear people pass (often at earlier age) around me, I am not afraid at all of death. But I admit that I am afraid of suffering a lot in the process. I know I am very pain resistant but I am no masochist.

A few painful times in life, I made the decision for one of my beloved pets to be "put to sleep". And they did so with dignity and with me holding them, and feeling my love as I teared up and held them. I hate the fact we humans don't get that - too often we pass away in cold hospital rooms miserably wheezing and suffering.

Hm. I'll leave it at that. But I am in absolutely no hurry. "I shall see you... but not yet, Spaniard"

 

[Oddball]

I always thought that those "stupid stunts" were mostly "calculated risks" in which we usually calculated correctly.
Unfortunately war, here also. But my mother, father & wife have all had that, too.

First, many thanks for your response. I really appreciate it as thinking through this thingy that is bothering me.

Unfortunately, my stunts were not really well thought through and belong to my pre 18-period. I do think that my 18 months mandatory army service at age of 18.5 made me 20 years wiser. It was not easy to go through it, but I certainly came up as a better man and did not do the stupid stunts of the past.

For example, I fell off this wall at age of 13. It was really exciting and challenging to climb it, but moment when the wall went down on me was really close to death. Many other even more stupid stunts after that, mostly involving cars ard motorcycles.

Walls of Ston - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

n somewhat worse health but somewhat better looking (according to me), and my wife (whom I never saw a lot of after we were married because both of us traveled a lot for our jobs) has also retired (a year early) & is here helping me, our son's career is going good & I have a lot to look forward to.
Fortunately, our work allowed us to pay for everything that we have in full already (also meaning, that while we are debt free, that we have almost nothing in the bank).
So, from a physical point, I am not enjoying my self, but little gains seem to be trending. Financially is more challenging (because of our savings being used up), as we expected to now travel together but that has become both physically & financially challenging. But, we are managing to do it on a much smaller scale, so not ready to go yet, although, sometimes there are those moments...of doubt.
Then comes the "We are going to get over the obstacles, regardless, attitude."
And, while it takes longer and is more difficult than originally planned, we succeed at it, more often than not.

I am glad that you recovered and doing well. I don't have any debt at all, but is still bothers me as to how much I will be able to pass on to the future generation. Honestly, they don't seem to be as though as they should be and might need more that it was originally anticipated.

 

[mglobe]

I’m about to turn 70. Honestly I don’t think about death at all, just the aches and pains that keep popping up. My wife is already 70 and is still smoking hot so I’m good there.

 

[olds1959special]

No fear, no regrets

 

[DVinylfan]

Great and thought-provoking thread, credit to ASR for having the courage to host topics of human interest beyond merely 'hifi'.
Hoping the OP is OK.
To their question, I don't "think about death". I don't think they were, either, but rather, as their doctor said, they were experiencing "death anxiety".
Which is quite different from "thinking about" e.g. all the ponderables life presents to us, like what to have for dinner, which amplifier to buy, etc.
Death isn't ponderable, or negotiable, it is certain, and can't be thought about like those other things.
We can think about death anxiety, and it may be good to talk about it, but we can't think 'about' death. It just is, and there's no work our minds can do to modify its inevitability.
The problem with death in our lives isn't that it exists, but that we don't talk about it enough.