80 y/o here. 1992, when I was 50 y/o, seems like a very long time ago to me. At 50, if you are healthy and not taken out by heart attack, stroke or cancer, you may have many years left. Take it one day at a time, but always have friends and definitely have a purpose in life. When my neuropathy forced me to stop woodturning and sell all of my tools and beautiful tropical hardwood stash, I didn't have anything left to give me purpose. But having a loving family - blood or chosen - can be a huge benefit. In my case a struggling but hard-working artist - Peruvian expat Richar Huisa - and his wife plus 4 and 8-year old daughters, had become my family here in Boquete, Panama as I helped them cement their permanent residency here in Panamá over the past several years.
Earlier this year, I got sick and at one point fell down after going to the bathroom and vomiting in the middle of the night. I was not injured, but I was so weak that it took me over two hours to get up and be able to use my walker to get back to my bed. My "family doctor" made a house call, found no diagnosis, determined that I was dehydrated, so she had a nurse visit me and administer a couple of bags of IV fluid to re-hydrate me. Total cost - $200.
At that time, and with a very slow recovery, I felt close to death, and even wrote a long "farewell" post here st ASR.
I was ready to go, but fate decided that I could hang around for a bit longer, I did not fear death, but was ready to go peacefully if that was my fate. But I survived that crisis an regained some srength, but my peripheral neuropathy became a bit worse. However, over the past few months, my health seems to be fairly stable. My mobility is severely limited - I use a rollator (walker with big wheels) for anything more than one step - and if I cannot touch a wall, door frame, piece of furniture or the kitchen counter for support.
However, with the help of Richar and his wife, who were adamant that I should not go to an assisted living facility, I am still living in my little rental house here in Boquete, a mountain town in the westernmost province of Panamá. Richar shops for me and picks up my Amazon packages from the local office of the package forwarding company. He visits me 2-3 times per week and sometimes brings Micaela, his 8-year old daughter. On Wednesdays, the whole family plus a 60 y/o Panamanian friend stop by for a visit. They clean my house and I play with the children. And once or twice a month, I dress in Levis and a nice shirt instead of my usual scrubs, t-shirt and slippers, and a friend takes me to the bank, pharmacy, and we have lunch at a local restaurant. This coming Friday, I will attend a photo exhibit and documntary film at the local library presented by the Peruvian embassy. And of course, living for the past ten years in a lush, green tropical rainforest highlands region with temperatures that rarely exceed 80°F or drop below 60°F helps to make life pleasant.
For food, a Russian/Ukrainian couple who are friends and sell food at the local weekly market stop buy every other Tuesday with freshly prepared food - and lots of veggies in the dishes. Eric Pousson, another friend and food vendor who does pre-prepared frozen food [
LINK] delivers every Monday for $3, or $2 if a neighbor also orders.
In addition to having good friends, having "purpose" in life rather than drifting from day-to-day can provide significant benefits. If I have bad days with low energy, I can just hang out and the next day is usually better with more energy and motivation.
A few months ago, I dredged up some old IT and WordPress website skills, and built a website with an online store for Richar [
LINK]. And I have a category in the store for myself which I call "The Webmaster's Corner - Audio Art and More" [
LINK]. Below is an example of one of the items I am offering...
So it's been 30 years since I turned 50, and I have had many good days, weeks, months and years since then. In some ways, life seems to pass quickly, and in other ways it cruises along slowly with many delights along the way. It sounds like you are having what is often referred to as a "mid-life crisis". People can die at any age, but even at age 80, I am only 1 year past the average life expectancy for my ethnic, health, and income group. Each day, month and year that I live from here on is a blessing. But I am ready to pass on if the end comes sooner rather than later.
