I think it's not too loud, i have my computer at ~50% volume, and between 35% and 50% on the amp, 0dB setting. I easilly can speak with someone while listening to the music. I sadly can't tell you the exact volume i'm listening to, but i tried to put it low.
I saw the DAC default filter cancel noises after 22kHz or somerhing like that.
What operating system do you use on your computer and how do you set the volume on it? If it is Windows, I recommend reading this thread:
https://www.audiosciencereview.com/...nding-the-windows-audio-quality-debate.19438/. If it is macOS, you can open the Audio MIDI Setup and see the attenuation in dB and leaving it at full volume allows for bit-perfect transmission.
Could you try to reproduce how loud you listened setting the computer to full volume, the amplifier to -9 dB gain and full volume and controlling the volume via the DAC's remote control? Try starting at a low level, e.g. -40 dB, and raise it slowly. You could use pink noise at a specified level, e.g. -20 dBFS RMS, and use the microphone to record the level. However, make sure that the headphone and microphone are always placed the same relative to each other and that there is no change in reflective surfaces.
How easily you can talk with someone while listening to music depends on if in the music there is no content in or close to the range that makes speech intelligible that is at a level similar to the speech, i.e. if the speech is not masked by the music.