Audiophoolery humour thread

[Soniclife]

Does anyone know which type of wood pole acts as the best insulator. I don't want to cheap out with pine if oak or cherry's hard nature reduces electric vibrations? The man in the video let the electric company pick out the pole, so he's clearly not very knowledgeable.

Ebony wood will give you deeper blacks, plus it's expensive so it must be good.

 

[KeithPhantom]

Ebony wood will give you deeper blacks, plus it's expensive so it must be good.

I like rosewood just because the color, i even think it can improve the quality of electricity by adding a really nice warm feeling to the electricity.

 

[Berwhale]

Does anyone know which type of wood pole acts as the best insulator. I don't want to cheap out with pine if oak or cherry's hard nature reduces electric vibrations? The man in the video let the electric company pick out the pole, so he's clearly not very knowledgeable.

Lignum Vitae.

"Trade of Lignum Vitae is restricted in CITES Appendix II, and prices for genuine Lignum Vitae are accordingly very high: and usually from questionable sources. Lignum Vitae is typically sold by the pound, (instead of the more common board-foot measurement), and since it is the heaviest wood in the world, this also makes it considerably expensive."

Perfect for Audiofoolery!

 

[JustJones]

Perfect for taming all those vibrations.

https://highend-electronics.com/products/synergistic-research-acoustic-art

 

[Paperdragons]

When your netgear router can't deliver audio nirvana.

https://www.kevalinaudio.com/product-page/waversa-wrouter

TFW your router costs as much as TOTL headphones smh

 

[Paperdragons]

I've got nothing. My brain hurts.View attachment 71948

You could also

$500 for a half meter. Bargain!
http://www.theabsolutesound.com/art...wVheq4c3AP7cVJfHo-6GJnnRV0olsc7_c9sfjBvZai7RY

They don't even look well made or wrapped

 

[JustJones]

$500 for a half meter. Bargain!
http://www.theabsolutesound.com/art...wVheq4c3AP7cVJfHo-6GJnnRV0olsc7_c9sfjBvZai7RY

You would think for $500 a half meter they might at least spring for Cat 8 ?

 

[richard12511]

Perfect for taming all those vibrations.

https://highend-electronics.com/products/synergistic-research-acoustic-art

Dear god. Why are audiophiles so susceptible to this nonsense?

 

[TimF]

After watching this and thinking I could reach audio nirvana with my own telephone pole, I was sadly informed that all my electric is underground. I have started a petition asking my neighbors to allow dedicated "HiFi" poles be erected so clean power can be provided to my electronics. Most people will sign a petition without reading it, so when I say "clean power" they think I'm talking solar.

Does anyone know which type of wood pole acts as the best insulator. I don't want to cheap out with pine if oak or cherry's hard nature reduces electric vibrations? The man in the video let the electric company pick out the pole, so he's clearly not very knowledgeable.

I tell ya, in Minnesota in the winter home electricity delivered via overhead wires is de-energized by a considerable amount passing through wires that are up to 25 degrees below zero. The de-energization is known as recalcitrance, or more properly, reluctance. I have devised a scale to establish a numerical value to this reluctance. It is the Fleetham reluctance scale. In the extreme of deep winter in Minnesota it is sometimes necessary to adjust the bias on your tube amplifiers.

 

[NgtFlyer]

You would think for $500 a half meter they might at least spring for Cat 8 ?

Go all the way to 9! Or heck, turn it up to 11! "The new cat-11 audiophile grade Ethernet cable! So advanced with such tonal viscosity (stole that) that the standard hasn't even been invented yet!"

 

[NgtFlyer]

an IRC (yes IRC) server I am on has an audio review generator that comes up with examples that strikingly resemble summaries featured on a .. certain .. stereo audiophile rag...
An example: "After a few weeks of listening the upper bands were veiled. The midrange seemed chesty although the bottom was quite palpable. The isolation was particularly forward. I experienced a commanding feeling of splashiness while the harmonics were euphonic."

I love how words like "palpable" and "viscosity" and "svelte" get used kind of often in said reviews!

 

[JustJones]

an IRC (yes IRC) server I am on has an audio review generator that comes up with examples that strikingly resemble summaries featured on a .. certain .. stereo audiophile rag...
An example: "After a few weeks of listening the upper bands were veiled. The midrange seemed chesty although the bottom was quite palpable. The isolation was particularly forward. I experienced a commanding feeling of splashiness while the harmonics were euphonic."

I love how words like "palpable" and "viscosity" and "svelte" get used kind of often in said reviews!

I'm partial to a chesty midrange and a palpable bottom.

 

[mhardy6647]

Don't they know most gear has four corners? And for $750?

View attachment 72221

Silicon Nitride Upgrade Balls -- it's a good thing I don't have a juvenile sense of humor...

Oh, on topic -- stuff with three feet isn't uncommon in hifi. Turntables, e.g. -- heck, I've even got one!

TT15S12 by Mark Hardy, on Flickr
I don't use it, but I do own it. The third foot is centered at the back of the -- ahem -- plinth. The motor, visible in the back left, is free-standing (i.e., sits centered in a little cutout in the plinth).

And, then again, even quadripedal hifi equipment sometimes gets the three footed treatment.

Do youse guyses know about Mapleshade and Pierre Sprey? If not -- you'll love him/them!
https://mapleshadestore.com/

I'm partial to a chesty midrange and a palpable bottom.

Palpable bottom girls, they make the rockin' world go round...

 

[bboris77]

Any content from this vinyl-based YouTuber is extremely entertaining if you perceive it as pure comedy gold. Sadly, a lot of people take it at face value.

This is one of my favourites, since he is "reviewing" the Nagaoka MP-110, a phono cartridge that I tried and hated. He loved it though and does an amazing job of trying to sell it using wonderful audiophool prose and poetry:

 

[VintageFlanker]

 

[Vini darko]

Tecno dad ftw

 

[mansr]

I use Wi-Fi, do I need an audiophile signal cleaner?

Of course you do: https://us.kef.com/blog/kef-hydro-blaster-improved-wireless-audio-experience-in-a-can

 

[Sophoheilip]

Better spend your money on your health!
https://my5gblocker.com/shop/

 

[Martin]

Better spend your money on your health!
https://my5gblocker.com/shop/

Clothing to compliment the jewelry...

https://shieldheadwear.com/

Martin

 

[maverickronin]

One can clearly see from this equation that humidity (e) wreaks havoc on Wi-Fi and Bluetooth audio streaming. Of course, not everyone will hear the differences but to those of you who can, humidity cannot be understated.

Checks out, more or less...