This is true. It's hard to give a lot of nuance when people come in asking for advice. Some of the stuff like "use room correction" is so beneficial in terms of cost-effectiveness that it's tempting to call it "mandatory". I'm guilty of this, I've called subs and DSP "almost not optional" before.
But this is assuming people have a certain inclination to messing with gear and a healthy relationship to tweaking their systems. We assume people are walking the path no matter what, and we see that some paths are clearly better than others, so we say "definitely, take this path and not that one". But for some people, not walking the path, or stopping early, might be the better option.
For we enthusiasts, it's hard to imagine someone being stressed out by this stuff. I have always enjoyed messing with audio just for the sake of messing with audio. But I think that makes me the weird one in these discussions.
While I'm not like you, I don't think you're the weird one here. Let's be honest, we're (almost all) men here, and we like to nerd out and obssess over stuff, especially hobbies we developed a passion for. Not war, but passionate men and their obsessions is the mother of all invention. Not trying to diminish the historical impact of women here - which is significant - but yeah, audio is mainly a male driven passion, and we shall acknowledge and judge it accordingly.
Then there's the "nerd" aspect. The biggest nerds in history have always been somewhat autistic. It seems to help with being obsessed. Again, let's be honest: if you're a super duper audiophile and music fan, and taking it to the extreme to varying degrees, you're probably somewhere "on the spectrum".
Personally I've never been diagnosed, but in hindsight there's been signs all my life. Stereo systems by themselves never was a big obsession. Blessed by winning a really good sub/sat system in 1999 when I was 17 or 18, good sound with deep bass in an average room never was a problem. Only last year I got new speakers - talk about how satisfying the old ones were for 25 years.
What I obsessed about for long years instead was the very source: the music itself. I fancied myself an artist and tinkered with a lot of synthesizers and fx boxes and various production methods, to mimic and achieve the kind of sound I heard on my favourite records. At a point I had over 30 devices connected to a big 24ch mixer and 8ch i/o audio interface for my PC. What a pity that my musical talent turned out to be rather limited; otherwise I might have ended up adding to the substance of the universe, or something. Lol. (Sidenote: wild criss-cross connections of audio and data and asymmetric and symmetric and everything. Zero hum and ground loops whatsoever. Until this day I know what a "ground loop" is, but only theoretically).
And you know what? It's all a nice hobby and gives you something to do in your spare time, and it's all much fun.
But you need to let go. The most important lesson in life I ever learned is recognising when stuff is good enough. Technical perfectionism gets you nowhere, you need to catch the essence of it all instead. As a sergeant in the army I learned: achieve the mission, kill the enemy, survive yourself. In music production it is: make it sound good and kick arse, then it's good enough. Don't keep stressing over details, it gets you nowhere.
Choosing, purchasing and setting up a stereo for your particular situation is a really mundane task compared. It's so simple, if you halfway know what you're doing. The most important lesson is maybe: do your research (with ASR being a very helpful resource), make informed decisions, choose the right kind of speakers for your room and sound/loudness desires, and you'll be blessed with excellent sound - easily.
I get how a lot of us can easily get obsessed with seemingly important aspects. Oh, that room mode! Omg, the slight midrange bump. Holy shit, that tiny resonance I measured in my speakers, I must now tear them apart and reinforce the whole cabinet and while I'm at it, "upgrade" the crossover with Mundorf caps for 30 moneys a piece!
Fuck this shit, I say. Don't get hung up on details, use your most powerful resource instead: your brain. Its plasticity and adaptivity is the best thing ever happening to a great ape who simply wants to enjoy some good fucking music. Give yourself time, and you'll adapt. For free. In the meantime, make good audio decisions following the most basic of rules, and you'll be golden. Guaranteed.
End rant.
