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Audio Prose Porn Thread

watchnerd

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Dec 8, 2016
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I ran across this and thought it was a particularly egregious example of written audio porn.

"Japanese chemist Kikunae Ikeda-san officially coined the term "Umami" in 1908, defining it as a very pleasing or delicious flavor on the palette, a synergistic effect resulting in higher taste intensity.

"When Hana decided to create a high-end cartridge, Master cartridge designer Masao Okada-san applied the concept of Umami combining brilliant materials and classic Japanese techniques with modern audio engineering."

The HANA-Umami Red exclusive Auricle™ body design, mimics the shape of the human outer ear to rigidly support the “Open Air” MC generator. It is machined from A7075 Duralumin with a multi-layered Urushi lacquer finish originating from the Japanese Makie-artistic tradition, and incorporates an Ebony Wood inlay, tapped mounting holes, and stylus guard.

The cryogenically treated MC generator features a samarium/cobalt magnet with a Permalloy square plate armature, hand-wound with high purity 30-micron copper wire for an internal impedance of 6Ω and .4mV output. A Nude Microline stylus is bonded to a solid Boron cantilever for tracing the most delicate musical nuances from the LP.

All the major parts of the HANA-Umami Red are manufactured in house by Excel Sound with its highly trained craftsmen skillfully hand assembling each cartridge. Master designer Okada-san brings over 50 years of experience to this design, applying the Umami concept of synergy with the HANA-Umami Red.

The Umami costs $3950"


Post your other favorites here.
 

Angsty

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That’s the way you move up from selling sub-thousand dollar cartridges of acclaim to multi-thousand dollar cartridges with halo effect.

So yummy! I can practically taste those sound waves!
 

scott wurcer

Major Contributor
Audio Luminary
Technical Expert
Joined
Apr 24, 2019
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I ran across this and thought it was a particularly egregious example of written audio porn.

"Japanese chemist Kikunae Ikeda-san officially coined the term "Umami" in 1908, defining it as a very pleasing or delicious flavor on the palette, a synergistic effect resulting in higher taste intensity.

"When Hana decided to create a high-end cartridge, Master cartridge designer Masao Okada-san applied the concept of Umami combining brilliant materials and classic Japanese techniques with modern audio engineering."

The HANA-Umami Red exclusive Auricle™ body design, mimics the shape of the human outer ear to rigidly support the “Open Air” MC generator. It is machined from A7075 Duralumin with a multi-layered Urushi lacquer finish originating from the Japanese Makie-artistic tradition, and incorporates an Ebony Wood inlay, tapped mounting holes, and stylus guard.

The cryogenically treated MC generator features a samarium/cobalt magnet with a Permalloy square plate armature, hand-wound with high purity 30-micron copper wire for an internal impedance of 6Ω and .4mV output. A Nude Microline stylus is bonded to a solid Boron cantilever for tracing the most delicate musical nuances from the LP.

All the major parts of the HANA-Umami Red are manufactured in house by Excel Sound with its highly trained craftsmen skillfully hand assembling each cartridge. Master designer Okada-san brings over 50 years of experience to this design, applying the Umami concept of synergy with the HANA-Umami Red.

The Umami costs $3950"


Post your other favorites here.

Excellent BS poetry.
 

Chrispy

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Feb 7, 2020
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I find most subjective audio reviews as audio porn and not worth the time....
 
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