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A Call For Humor!
- Thread starter Tks
- Start date
What are you? Polish or somesuch?
Caution: Two related '70s ethnic jokes:
Above 2 ethnic jokes can replace the "Polish" ethnicity w/any other; less w/Aborigines!
- A woman is screaming "Rape! Rape!" in Central Park... cops ask her for a description of the low-life... she states, "white, 5ft10, brown hair and eyes."... cops ask her for bit more details... "Oh yeah! He was Polish!"... cops are puzzled and ask how she knew that... she replies "I had to help him"!
- Have you heard about the Polish guy that locked his car keys in the ignition? He asked his kids inside the car to hand him the phone thru the window, so that he can call for a locksmith!
BolusOfDoom
Member
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2020
- Messages
- 54
- Likes
- 140
Borrowed from my other site… geared to my aging!!
*My tolerance for idiots is extremely low these days. I used to have some immunity built up; but obviously there's a new strain out there.
*It’s not my age that bothers me; it’s the side effects.
*I’m not saying I’m old and worn out, but I make sure I’m nowhere near the curb on trash day.
*As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, I'm sure of one thing: it will be misspelled and have poor punctuation.
*As I’ve gotten older, people think I’ve become lazy. The truth is I’m just being more energy efficient.
*I haven't gotten anything done today. I've been in the Produce Department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.
*If you find yourself feeling useless, remember it took 20 years, trillions of dollars, and four presidents to replace the Taliban with the Taliban.
*Turns out that being a "senior" is mostly just googling how to do stuff.
*I want to be 18 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.
*G*d promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then he made the earth round... and laughed and
laughed and laughed.
*I'm on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on one.
*I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.
*My mind is like an internet browser. At least 19 open tabs, 3 of them are frozen, and I have no clue where the music is coming from.
*Hard to believe I once had a phone attached to a wall, and when it rang, I picked it up without knowing who was calling.
*Apparently RSVP-ing to a wedding invitation, "Maybe next time", isn't the correct response.
*She says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found mute by now.
*So you’ve been eating hot dogs and McChicken all your life, but you won’t take the vaccine because you don’t know what’s in it. Are you kidding me?
*Sometimes the Universe puts you in the same situation again to see if you’re still as stupid as the first time.
*There is no such thing as a grouchy old person. The truth is that once you get old, you stop being polite and start being honest.
*My tolerance for idiots is extremely low these days. I used to have some immunity built up; but obviously there's a new strain out there.
*It’s not my age that bothers me; it’s the side effects.
*I’m not saying I’m old and worn out, but I make sure I’m nowhere near the curb on trash day.
*As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, I'm sure of one thing: it will be misspelled and have poor punctuation.
*As I’ve gotten older, people think I’ve become lazy. The truth is I’m just being more energy efficient.
*I haven't gotten anything done today. I've been in the Produce Department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.
*If you find yourself feeling useless, remember it took 20 years, trillions of dollars, and four presidents to replace the Taliban with the Taliban.
*Turns out that being a "senior" is mostly just googling how to do stuff.
*I want to be 18 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.
*G*d promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then he made the earth round... and laughed and
laughed and laughed.
*I'm on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on one.
*I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.
*My mind is like an internet browser. At least 19 open tabs, 3 of them are frozen, and I have no clue where the music is coming from.
*Hard to believe I once had a phone attached to a wall, and when it rang, I picked it up without knowing who was calling.
*Apparently RSVP-ing to a wedding invitation, "Maybe next time", isn't the correct response.
*She says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found mute by now.
*So you’ve been eating hot dogs and McChicken all your life, but you won’t take the vaccine because you don’t know what’s in it. Are you kidding me?
*Sometimes the Universe puts you in the same situation again to see if you’re still as stupid as the first time.
*There is no such thing as a grouchy old person. The truth is that once you get old, you stop being polite and start being honest.
mhardy6647
Grand Contributor
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2019
- Messages
- 11,393
- Likes
- 24,706
I think I was a charter member of that group!
mhardy6647
Grand Contributor
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2019
- Messages
- 11,393
- Likes
- 24,706
(aus Club Polk)
bloodshoteyed
Major Contributor
Every time I see his picture, I think of StarTrek's Data:
And not Chucky:
Zucky don't scare me as much as DataZucker...
