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A Call For Humor!

pseudoid

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My wife comments on my very extreme stomach. She now calls me "Buddha Belly". I think sometimes she is not complementing me.........
She is obviously pushing the wrong button!
Reminder her that just like your buddhy Buddha, you are a very efficient navel-gazing machine.
 
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Thor9981

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May 23, 2022
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Pro tip: Attach an LED to all of your old lady's clothing. It'll let you know whether she's on, off, or clipping.
 

Scrappy

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iu
I am pretty sure I made this meme years ago, ha! Will confirm
 

Scrappy

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Three men are walking along when they find a magic lamp. They rub the magic lamp and out pops a genie. The genie is so grateful to be free from the lamp he grants each of the men 3 wishes.

The first man instantly shouts, “I wish I had a billion dollars!” The genie nods his head and when the man checks his bank account he sees his balance has increased by a billion dollars. The second man thinks and says, “I wish I was the richest man in the world.” The genie nods and the mans bank account shows over 300 billion dollars. The third man thinks even longer and asks, “I wish my right arm would rotate clockwise forever without stopping.” The genie nods and the mans arm starts to spin.

Time for the second wish and the first man again yells out, “I wish I had a beautiful wife.” Suddenly a gorgeous woman appears by his side. The second man thinks and says, “I want to be handsome, fit, charming, and irresistible to women.” The genie nods and the man's acne clears, wrinkles smooth, and his beer belly disappears. Suddenly he has a cut physique, six-pack abs and is stunningly handsome. The third man pauses and asks, “I wish my left arm would rotate counter-clockwise forever without stopping.” The genie nods and the man's left arm starts spinning in the opposite direction of his right arm.

For his third wish the first man yells, “I want to be strong and healthy until the day I die.” The genie makes it so. The second man thinks and says, “I want to stay 29 forever and never age a day.” The genie makes it so. The third man thinks for a long time and finally says, “I want my head to nod back and forth forever.” The genie nods and the man's head starts nodding back and forth.

Many years after the encounter with the genie the three men meet up at a bar. They begin talking about how their lives have changed. The first man says, “I invested my money wisely, my family will never want for anything, my beautiful wife and I make love every day and I’ve not had so much as a cold since the last time we saw each other.” The second man says, “I also invested wisely. I've become the world's greatest philanthropist while also staying the world’s wealthiest man. I’ve traveled, made love to many beautiful, exotic women and still have the energy and looks of a young man.”

The third man, with his right arm spinning clockwise, his left arm spinning counter-clockwise, head nodding back and forth says to the first two, “Guys, I think I fucked up.”
Ha! So absurd, Norm MacDonald-sequence
 

Bleib

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Let's add a dose of reality into the mix of badly informed memes:
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OK, back to teh funneh



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