A Call For Humor!

[Suffolkhifinut]

View attachment 273258

Funny and true to modern day life. This isn’t a joke but true.
A friend’s daughter has a very violent son in his 30s, he keeps attacking her and the police are regularly called to sort it out. The man is well over 6’ and heavily muscled, his father is a ex professional heavy weight boxer and the law in the UK classes his fists as lethal weapons. So if he goes for his son he’s likely to be charged with ABH at least, they lock themselves in the bathroom and call the police. The son ended up remanded in prison at the trial a restraining order was put in place, banning him from their home and surrounding area. After the trial his mother waited for him and took him home!

 

[Count Arthur]

Funny and true to modern day life. This isn’t a joke but true.
A friend’s daughter has a very violent son in his 30s, he keeps attacking her and the police are regularly called to sort it out. The man is well over 6’ and heavily muscled, his father is a ex professional heavy weight boxer and the law in the UK classes his fists as lethal weapons. So if he goes for his son he’s likely to be charged with ABH at least, they lock themselves in the bathroom and call the police. The son ended up remanded in prison at the trial a restraining order was put in place, banning him from their home and surrounding area. After the trial his mother waited for him and took him home!

It sounds like someboddy needs some time on the naughty step.

 

[Kuppenbender]

his father is a ex professional heavy weight boxer and the law in the UK classes his fists as lethal weapons.

I always thought that was just an urban myth.

The kind of thing Steven Seagal would say - and probably has.

 

[Suffolkhifinut]

I always thought that was just an urban myth.

The kind of thing Steven Seagal would say - and probably has.

Had a former apprentice I looked after a part time boxer, put away for getting into a fight protecting his mate from a couple of blokes laying into him. The law here is clear on this one.

 

[sejarzo]

 

[Keith_W]

(Edit) decided to make it a spoiler so that others can have fun

BOSSY - O S S
CHURN - C U
WIZARD - I A R
CEMENT - ME T

OSSCUIARMET

MUSIC TO HIS EARS

 

[Marc v E]

We need to take more risk people, more risk!

 

[Marc v E]

Punch in the face free of charge

 

[Marc v E]

Universal remote.

 

[Marc v E]

These stairs need a haircut.

 

[Prana Ferox]

I always thought that was just an urban myth.

The kind of thing Steven Seagal would say - and probably has.

The UK classifies basic tableware as deadly weapons

 

[nobodynoz]

In France there is an old song that says:
"ninety-five times out of a hundred the woman is bored while making love. Men convinced otherwise are cuckolds."
what do you think ?

The song has been written by a famous French poet called Georges Brassens.

 

[Suffolkhifinut]

The UK classifies basic tableware as deadly weapons

Does that include people who use their knuckles when eating?

 

[Marc v E]

In France there is an old song that says:
"ninety-nine times out of a hundred the woman is bored while making love. Men convinced otherwise are cuckolds."
what do you think ?

I'd think that's a sign of a relationship that doesn't work. Making love is communication too.

 

[sejarzo]

The UK classifies basic tableware as deadly weapons

My poor mom suffered from significant dementia in the year before she passed. Not long after I moved my folks into an assisted living facility, she contracted an infection that made her delirious, and she was reportedly ranting that she was going to find a knife and cut the bad pills from the doctor out of her stomach. The staff got my dad out of there and called me.

Other than hearing my mom come to the door and throw the deadbolt (as if that would keep the staff from just unlocking it?) I heard nothing, but the staff called the police per their protocol.

I was standing at the door when the cops arrived--two big guys, fully armed, in bullet proof vests--and they got the story from me and the staff. They then said "Whoa, whoa, wait, she has KNIVES in there?" to which I replied "Every one of these units has a little kitchenette, of COURSE she has table knives in there!" They started hemming and hawing about what to do, so I just said "OK fine, I'm going in and you cover me" and told the aide to unlock the deadbolt.

My mom was asleep in her recliner and we had to wake her up when the EMT squad got there. She had absolutely no concept of what she'd said earlier.

 

[Marc v E]

So ninety-nine times out of one hundred is a sign of a relationship that doesn't work ?

If you believe me and Georges Brassens, yes.

If you only believe me, I'd say the failing rate of relationships (breaking up) is between 50 and 70 percent in the West. People stay married on average 7 years iirc.
So I'd hope and like to believe that during those 7 years they have a better time than 1 good out of 100.

 

[nobodynoz]

Sorry, I've made a mistake it's 95 times out of 100... the woman is bored when making love...

 

[Marc v E]

Do the relationships get better because we started communicating ?

 

[Inner Space]

Do the relationships get better because we started communicating ?

---- Do you talk to your wife after sex?
---- I guess. You know, if she calls.

 

[pseudoid]

Our cat is naturally blonde gray: