A Call For Humor!

[Robin L]

Yes I’m not a vegetarian at all but sometimes I happily eat vegetarian or vegan food , but not the meat imitation stuff

I am married to a devout, orthodox hippie vegetarian.

I had to learn how to cook for her.

Oh, how I lust for a juicy, still-throbbing steak, but she will not allow such things into the house.

I do not know how much longer I can survive like this.

The unspeakable horrors of a vegan recipe requiring four hours of prep time, 17 ingredients, 12 of which involve interacting with someone who apparently is not familiar with any language of this Earth, the end result of these labours possessing a slimy, dubious texture and no discernable flavor whatsoever.

For the love of G-d, kill me now!

 

[Mnyb]

By the way, rattlesnake does not taste like chicken, it's more like rubber erasers with a soupçon of umami.

I understand that humans taste like pork, but I cannot personally attest to that.

I think it was a Simpson episode when Homer blurted out ” if where not supposed to eat animals why are they made of meat ”

 

[respice finem]

Yes I’m not a vegetarian at all but sometimes I happily eat vegetarian or vegan food , but not the meat imitation stuff

My dog was a good critic for this - he could eat salad and such (really), but never any "experimental" stuff
Makes me wonder if the manufacturers of said stuff ever taste "their own dogfood"...

 

[MatrixS2000]

View attachment 535482

Reminds me of our last dog Neo - relaxing on our deck after a bender….

 

[respice finem]

Yoda meditating

 

[Keith_W]

By the way, rattlesnake does not taste like chicken, it's more like rubber erasers with a soupçon of umami.

I understand that humans taste like pork, but I cannot personally attest to that.

I can tell you that burning human flesh smell like pork. In my younger days, I spent a lot of time in the operating theatre. When the surgeon uses diathermy, the smell it gives off is just like ham. It turned me off pork for quite a few years.

 

[Ropeburn]

Humans aren't called long pig for no reason...

I'd argue, you'll probably want vegetarians for your recipes. Meat eaters don't taste too well, and vegans are usually not fatty enough. In any case, I'll fetch a nice Chianti...

 

[respice finem]

Even genetically not too far apart.

Genetic Similarity Between Humans and Pigs

Explore the genetic similarities between humans and pigs, revealing intriguing connections that shed light on medical research and potential opportunities for organ transplantation.

scienceofbiogenetics.com

 

[respice finem]

Humans aren't called long pig for no reason...

I'd argue, you'll probably want vegetarians for your recipes. Meat eaters don't taste too well, and vegans are usually not fatty enough. In any case, I'll fetch a nice Chianti...

A related joke: A missionary is sent to a remote tribe. After a week, the bishop asks the tribesmen whether he is good.
Answer - he was, but didn't last long

 

[TheWalkman]

Humans aren't called long pig for no reason...

I'd argue, you'll probably want vegetarians for your recipes. Meat eaters don't taste too well, and vegans are usually not fatty enough. In any case, I'll fetch a nice Chianti...

Reminds me of a fascinating book by Richard Rhodes, “Deadly Feasts.”

From Amazon:

The narrative begins with Kuru, a fatal, wasting disease of the stone age Fore tribe in New Guinea. The story journeys to the laboratories of North America, to the pages of scientific journals, and the research centers of Great Britain, until the astonishing connection is made with Creutzfeld-Jacob disease, an apparently congenital neurologic wasting disease of humans, and scrapie, a shockingly similar disease of sheep!

Great read.

Now back to our regularly scheduled humor thread…

 

[respice finem]

CJD research had remotely contributed to my later vegetarianism.
Last time I checked, there were no definitive answers, let alone a cure...
Luckily, the incubation is usually very long.

 

[Ropeburn]

Reminds me of a fascinating book by Richard Rhodes, “Deadly Feasts.”

From Amazon:

The narrative begins with Kuru, a fatal, wasting disease of the stone age Fore tribe in New Guinea. The story journeys to the laboratories of North America, to the pages of scientific journals, and the research centers of Great Britain, until the astonishing connection is made with Creutzfeld-Jacob disease, an apparently congenital neurologic wasting disease of humans, and scrapie, a shockingly similar disease of sheep!

Great read.

Now back to our regularly scheduled humor thread…



View attachment 535595

Well duh. Every cannibal of culture knows not to eat the brain! The liver, on the other hand...

 

[Earth]

 

[Earth]

 

[jkasch]

I am married to a devout, orthodox hippie vegetarian.

I had to learn how to cook for her.

Oh, how I lust for a juicy, still-throbbing steak, but she will not allow such things into the house.

I do not know how much longer I can survive like this.

The unspeakable horrors of a vegan recipe requiring four hours of prep time, 17 ingredients, 12 of which involve interacting with someone who apparently is not familiar with any language of this Earth, the end result of these labours possessing a slimy, dubious texture and no discernable flavor whatsoever.

For the love of G-d, kill me now!

 

[Karmacoma]

I prefer women who like meat.

 

[Robin L]

I prefer women who like meat.

 

[Brian Hall]

By the way, rattlesnake does not taste like chicken, it's more like rubber erasers with a soupçon of umami.

I understand that humans taste like pork, but I cannot personally attest to that.

Rattlesnake does taste like chicken if it is prepared and cooked (fried) right.

 

[thewas]

 

[Ropeburn]

Based on some recent online stories about neighbours annoying each other playing music