A Call For Humor!

[Jim Taylor]

Y'know" said the Scotsman," I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow there's a little bar called McTavish's. Now the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy four drinks he will buy the fifth drink for you."

"Well," said the Englishman,"at my local, The Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."

"Ahhhhh, that's nothing," said the Irishman."Back home in Dublin there's Ryan's Bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then when you've had enough drinks they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid; all on the house."

The Englishman and Scotsman immediately scorn the Irishman's claims, but he swears every word is true.

"Well," asked the Englishman,"did this actually happen to you?"

"Not me meself, personally, no," said the Irishman."But it did happen to me sister."

 

[KellenVancouver]

 

[001]

View attachment 506275

Same with this chap, except he's soooo unfashionable now. Name rings true though...

 

[001]

I'm sorry to report I've gone to the dogs ;-)

So, this couple owns a dog that snores in his sleep.

Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife takes the dog to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles at night and he will stop snoring.

The woman is dubious about the vet's advice, but a few hours after going to bed, the dog is snoring as usual. Unable to sleep, she decides to see if a ribbon will help. She goes to the closet and grabs a piece of ribbon and ties it around the dog's testicles, and sure enough, the dog stops snoring. The woman is amazed!

Later that night, the woman's husband returns home drunk after being out with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep, and begins snoring very loudly. woman thinks maybe the ribbon will work on him. So she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of ribbon, and ties it around her husband's testicles. Amazingly, it also works on him!

The woman sleeps very soundly.

The next morning, the husband wakes up with a hangover and lurches into the bathroom to urinate. Standing in front of the toilet, he looks in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon around his privates. He is very confused, and, as he walks back into the bedroom, he notices a red ribbon around his dog's testicles.

He shakes his head, looks down at the dog and says, "Boy, I don't remember where we were or what we did, but, by God, we got first and second place!"

 

[diablo]

 

[digitalfrost]

 

[Bleib]

 

[thewas]

My Rolex in 2026​

 

[Member 90125]

 

[Multicore]

 

[thegeton]

 

[jkasch]

I’ve always wondered if it’s plural or possessive. Never heard the singular version.

 

[Petrushka]

I’ve always wondered if it’s plural or possessive. Never heard the singular version.

Depends on whether you get a second date.

 

[Jimi Floyd]

Well let me go off topic, get serious, remove my left coast, liberal, pinko, mongrelizing, filth hat, risk a ban warning and say if R, C and NK got together wanted to attack N. America which route would they they take. The US has only three ice breakers to help retaliate in a defense. But relax the vast, vast majority here and I still don't want to buy that island.

OK, let me understand, R stands for Resistance, C for Capacitance, but NK.... Nokia?

 

[Ralph_Cramden]

 

[snakedctr]

 

[snakedctr]

 

[Berwhale]

View attachment 506365

As part of recent project, I drew a diagram of the connectivity between network load balancers located in datacentres in the UK, the Netherlands and three cities in the US. I didn't realize the diagram formed an inverted pentagram until after i'd shown it to several colleagues (the iconography was appropriate considering the problems I'd had getting it all to work).

 

[snakedctr]

 

[respice finem]

As part of recent project, I drew a diagram of the connectivity between network load balancers located in datacentres in the UK, the Netherlands and three cities in the US. I didn't realize the diagram formed an inverted pentagram until after i'd shown it to several colleagues (the iconography was appropriate considering the problems I'd had getting it all to work).

So you've inadvertently become a network exorcist?