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A Call For Humor!
- Thread starter Tks
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Nutul
Addicted to Fun and Learning
Nope. I hate Praying Mantises.Can we go back to that wet koala?
Besides, Praying Mantis are very cool!
So right there. Butterfly, Lady Bug, Praying Mantis. All unhated.
All the rest can just... bugger off!
I remember my kindergarten lady (early years... I was maybe 4 or 5...) telling us they were dangerous, and a bite (better, a scratch with their fangs / whatever) was a hurting thing.
Then a on a sunny afternoon, I was just running around scratching the wall with my hand. A fellow attracts my attention. I stop to reply to him. I look back at the wall. My hand had just stopped a couple of inches off a praying mantis. It was big. Huge. I am still scared. Something like 52 years have passed by. No, praying mantis is not a cute insect.
Starting with the thing that females eat the shit off their mates after "doing that"...
Robin L
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But . . . But . . . But . . .
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I tell my wife on almost a daily basis*
Spiders are our friends.
I do like, or at least admire, spiders.
Well... I am a little leery of these. I doubt that they're any more malevolent than the acceptable-to-me species, but they seem to like to lurk... and they also seem to enjoy standing their ground.
(that's a 36-pack of Diet Pepsi, not a single can
)
DSC_8588 (2) by Mark Hardy, on Flickr
Sorry for the Imperial tape measure -- I didn't have any washing machines** or Smoots*** or other similarly abstruse measurement units that seem to be so enamored by us Amurricans.
Oh.
ahem.
I opened this thread to post this, which I just saw at the Polk forums. True it is.
_______________
* when she is trying, more or less assertively, to get me to deal with one...
**
*** https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smoot
Spiders are our friends.
I do like, or at least admire, spiders.
Well... I am a little leery of these. I doubt that they're any more malevolent than the acceptable-to-me species, but they seem to like to lurk... and they also seem to enjoy standing their ground.
(that's a 36-pack of Diet Pepsi, not a single can
)DSC_8588 (2) by Mark Hardy, on FlickrSorry for the Imperial tape measure -- I didn't have any washing machines** or Smoots*** or other similarly abstruse measurement units that seem to be so enamored by us Amurricans.
Oh.
ahem.
I opened this thread to post this, which I just saw at the Polk forums. True it is.
_______________
* when she is trying, more or less assertively, to get me to deal with one...
**
*** https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smoot
Well, is been a long time. Apologies.
At dawn the telephone rings:
"Hello, Senor Rod? This issa Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Umm, I just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he issa dead".
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the international competition?"
"Si, Senor, this issa the one."
Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"
"He issa eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod."
"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, Senor. He issa eat the meat of the dead horse."
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."
"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"
"Yes, Senor Rod, he issa die from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we issa use to put out the fire, Senor."
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house, Senor! A candle issa fall and the curtains issa caught on fire."
"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a bloody candle?!"
"Yes, Senor Rod."
"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"
"For the funeral, Senor Rod."
"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!"
"Your wife's, Senor Rod. She issa showed up very late one night and I issa thinking she issa a thief, so I hit her with your new Ping G15 204g titanium head golf club with the TFC 149D graphite shaft."
SILENCE........... LONG SILENCE.........VERY LONG SILENCE.. (you know, crickets.....)
"Ernesto, if you broke that bloody driver, you're in deep shit!"
At dawn the telephone rings:
"Hello, Senor Rod? This issa Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Umm, I just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he issa dead".
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the international competition?"
"Si, Senor, this issa the one."
Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"
"He issa eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod."
"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, Senor. He issa eat the meat of the dead horse."
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."
"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"
"Yes, Senor Rod, he issa die from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we issa use to put out the fire, Senor."
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house, Senor! A candle issa fall and the curtains issa caught on fire."
"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a bloody candle?!"
"Yes, Senor Rod."
"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"
"For the funeral, Senor Rod."
"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!"
"Your wife's, Senor Rod. She issa showed up very late one night and I issa thinking she issa a thief, so I hit her with your new Ping G15 204g titanium head golf club with the TFC 149D graphite shaft."
SILENCE........... LONG SILENCE.........VERY LONG SILENCE.. (you know, crickets.....)
"Ernesto, if you broke that bloody driver, you're in deep shit!"
Last edited:
Gold !!Do you hear that? Crickets...
What about roly poly bugs? I always liked them as a kid. Haven't seen one in 50 years or so but I don't play in the dirt anymore either.
Martin
Martin
Robin L
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lucian
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Can we go back to that wet koala?
Besides, Praying Mantis are very cool!
So right there. Butterfly, Lady Bug, Praying Mantis. All unhated.
All the rest can just... bugger off!
the wet koala is actually in the wrong threat. it belongs to "a call for horror" not in "a call for humor".
Robin L
Master Contributor
Audionaut
Major Contributor
Audionaut
Major Contributor
Ralph_Cramden
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Reminds me somehow of one ALF episode.
Q: And the rutting call turns the women on your planet on?
A: No, it knocks them out.
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