A Call For Humor!

[Hollywood_Bob]

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My mother got tired of breaking wooden spoons on me, but the detachable rubber iron and electric frying pan cords got my immediate attention. I went on to get a Masters Degree and stayed out of jail all my adult life.

 

[respice finem]

The unstudied connection between butt and brain

 

[ryanosaur]

The unstudied connection between butt and brain

“Free your mind and your ass will follow”
George Clinton

 

[thewas]

 

[mhardy6647]

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This explanation is so much simpler than most of them being presented in the UFO thread...
Occam's Razor.

 

[Brian Hall]

Dio Rainbow in the Dark (50s style)

 

[tengiz]

Dio Rainbow in the Dark (50s style)

This is beautiful!

 

[tengiz]

 

[001]

A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is driving through Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when it collides with a Nissan Qashqai.
The truck then careens down the road and hits a car from Massachusetts, injuring the two otorhinolaryngologists inside. One of them, suffering from Schistosomiasis, has a myocardial infarction.

A bystander witnesses the entire event and quickly calls to report the accident on his Huawei.

The emergency operator asks the bystander, "What happened?"

"It's hard to say."

 

[Bleib]

 

[001]

Alright everyone, I have something difficult to tell you;

Ken Dodd's dad's dog's dead.

 

[tengiz]

Speaking of death...

Two friends wander through a cemetery and notice strange engravings: people born in the 80s and 90s, dead in the 2020s, but the stones say they only "lived" a handful of years.

One asks why. The caretaker says, "We only count the good years. The rest was divorce, dead-end jobs, kids who don’t call, meds, bills, burnout. That’s not life - that’s bookkeeping".

The friend stares at the stones, shakes his head, and says: "When the time comes, I want one word on mine: Stillborn"...

 

[001]

A man goes to a jewellers and asked, “Do you happen to have a potato clock?”

To which the sales assistant said he didn’t, and told him to try Bunnings. So the man arrives at the hardware shop and explained to an employee there that he really needed a potato clock, but unfortunately, they didn’t have one either. The shop assistant asks, “Why on earth do you need a potato clock?”

To which the man replies, “Well, you see, I’ve just gotten a new job and my boss says that I really need to get up at eight o’clock.”

 

[Bleib]

 

[tengiz]

So sad...

 

[Buckaroo Shanzai]

 

[Bleib]

We do got 7" and 12" mixes of songs tho. And TV sizes

 

[snakedctr]

 

[snakedctr]

 

[Buckaroo Shanzai]