A Call For Humor!

[jp4573]

A drunk who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man's clothes were stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say Father, what causes arthritis?"

The priest replies, "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath."

The drunk muttered in response "Well, I'll be damned!"



Then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

 

[whereisbrian]

 

[Soandso]

 

[Kuma]

 

[mhardy6647]

 

[Soandso]

View attachment 406453

For further American usage consult the following:

 

[MattHooper]

Always loved the New Yorker..

 

[Andreas007]

substack, telegram, rumble, tiktok, gettr(?)... and ASR

Spoiler: some data

- Substack: 250'000 subscribers
- Telegram: 700+ million users, # of channels with more than 4 million subscribers: 8
- Rumble: 30 million users
- TikTok: # of accounts with more than 50 million followers: 29
- Gettr: 4.5 million users
- ASR: ??
- Top-10 USA newspapers in total: roughly 20 million subscribers.

I can only agree for Substack and ASR - all others you mention are "mainstream" media already.
And it's not a new thing that one have to read ideally three different versions of the same story (left, middle, right) to get a differentiated opinion about a topic.
As newspapers are propagating their point of view the same is true for the "new mainstream" media. But here you mostly don't know who is really behind it.
Besides that: Who has the time and patience to read 3 different opinions on one topic, nowadays?

Anyway, back to humor.

 

[Unbalanced]

 

[mhardy6647]

Appearances to the contrary, I actually really do try not to channel my inner 12 year old, even in the context of humor.
That said.
1) that clearly doesn't stop others.
2) I don't claim that I never give in to the temptation.
As seen on Yahoo about an hour or so ago.

 

[Soandso]

For further American usage consult the following:

View attachment 406476

More American English :

 

[mhardy6647]

More American English :
View attachment 406544

I guess that the various intonations that would be used with those two words suggests (to me, at any rate) that idiomatic English may have more in common with, say, Mandarin Chinese than one would traditionally expect.

 

[Sir Sanders Zingmore]

 

[mhardy6647]

View attachment 406561

Having worked for a British company (somewhat briefly & tumultuously) and had a couple of other British bosses in my RFT days -- this table would've come in awfully handy. I will say that I figured out a few of these empirically.

 

[Kuma]

 

[ryanosaur]

I guess that the various intonations that would be used with those two words suggests (to me, at any rate) that idiomatic English may have more in common with, say, Mandarin Chinese than one would traditionally expect.

I knew a guy in the kitchens that would say “good morning” and meant “fcuk off.”

Is it just intonation, or is it situational?

Good day, sir.

 

[Doodski]

I knew a guy in the kitchens that would say “good morning” and meant “fcuk off.”

Is it just intonation, or is it situational?

Good day, sir.

My 2nd wife was Chinese and Vietnamese but spoke Chinese a little bit and told me that when they speak they don't describe stuff in technical detail like English speakers do and that a lot of the communication is assumed and left for the listener to derive meaning from. I have no idea how that works but she was sometimes vague in communication and said later that she thought I would figure it out... LoL.

 

[CedarX]

she was sometimes vague in communication and said later that she thought I would figure it out...

All the symptoms of an audio bias on your side…
I think she was telling you that you’ll figure out the correct EQ!!!

 

[Doodski]

All the symptoms of an audio bias on your side…
I think she was telling you that you’ll figure out the correct EQ!!!

RFLMAO... For those that don't know about my over the top PEQ settings here they are.>>> Hehe...

 

[Kuma]